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Should I Hold On or Should I Let Go?

Updated on October 29, 2018
MsDora profile image

MsDora, former teacher and Certified Christian Counselor, explores attitudes and actions that can help us maintain our mental well-being.

Some people hold on for a breakthrough to progress, despite difficult challenges. We admire their faith.

Some hold on to seemingly hopeless situations. We wonder at their folly, especially when they create the situations themselves.

Why is it so difficult to choose between the freedom that comes with letting go and the misery that comes with holding on to something we should let go? The table below offers suggestions to guide the decision.

How Long Should We Wait?

Photo by George Hodan
Photo by George Hodan | Source

1) Relationships

Stop Holding On If:

You do not feel loved and appreciated. Disrespect toward you takes away your desire to show respect. Verbal and emotional abuse is part of the regular conversation. You are subservient and get trampled upon. You are accustomed to being dehumanized and you have become a walking dead.

Keep Holding On If:

The other person affirms your strengths and add zest to your life. Love and respect are mutual, and both of you promote the interest of the other. Despite disagreements and misunderstandings, clarity comes with honest communication. The practice of tolerance, patience and forgiveness is mutual. Both experience growth in the relationship.

2) Promises

Stop Holding On If:

The promises in the friendly or business relationship are not fair. You keep your end of the bargain, but instead of your reward, you are presented with plausible excuses. The other party is consistently deceptive and you are becoming a perpetual dupe.

Keep Holding On If:

The members of the team pledge an amount of effort which corresponds to the goals you set, and there is a regular participation from those who promised support. Matching your pattern of habitual honesty, cooperation and dependability, the others show similar integrity. There is mutual trust.

3) Habits

Stop Holding On If:

Habitually late, you still despise the punctual coworker who gets the promotion. You get speeding tickets monthly, but you fret at the insurance premium increase. You abuse drugs and alcohol, but you curse when the doctor prescribes liver treatment. Your bad habits (like tardiness, speeding above the limit, drug abuse) are killing you literally, socially, emotionally, spiritually.

Keep Holding On If:

You share Charles Dickens' observation: “I never could have done what I have done without the habits of punctuality, order, and diligence, without the determination to concentrate myself on one subject at a time.” You consider new positive habits you learn from other people. and decide for yourself to adopt or not adopt them. You formulate your own creed. You stick with the habits which make you most productive.

How Long Is Too Long?

Photo by George Hodan
Photo by George Hodan | Source

4) Emotions

Stop Holding On If:

You realize that negative emotions like guilt, anger, resentment and hate disturb your health equilibrium. These emotions cause you chronic headache, backache, skin rashes, high blood pressure and even worse illnesses. You believe the counsel from Gilead Institute of America: "Negative emotions left unattended breed greater mental or emotional problems. This often results in sickness and sometimes death.”

Keep Holding On If:

Your emotions are positive—like gratitude, cheerfulness, love and satisfaction. They allow you to appreciate who you are and to enjoy being friendly and helpful to others. They mirror the truth expressed in Proverbs 17:22: "A merry heart doeth good like a medicine."

5) Financial Strategy

Stop Holding On If:

Your monthly credit card charges are more than your monthly payments; and you still have gym and beauty parlor fees to pay. You can only afford a used car, but you don't want to give the impression that you are less financially able than your friends. You invest in every rich-quick scheme introduced to you. Your gut tells you to face the reality that your fake financial image will soon come crashing down.

Keep Holding On If:

You have plans for the financial health status you would like to achieve, and you are steadily working your plan. You are committed to your strategy and it works effectively. The flexibility of the job markets and income opportunities may initiate reasons for adjustments, but you keep on learning and adopting new skills. You also keep your purpose in mind. You are making progress.

6) Self-Image

Stop Holding On If:

You have created a false sense of self. To avoid dealing with all the problems you create by that deception, you keep on pretending to be someone you are not. You look in the mirror and lie to your face about how the real you looks, what you possess, and what you can do. You're delusional.

Keep Holding On If:

You are "more concerned with your character than your reputation, because your character is what you really are" (John Wooden). You character influences your attitude, your habits, your relationships and your potential. You are true to yourself—your faith and your integrity. You realize that if you lose character, there is not much of anything else to keep.

How Long Is Too Long before You Make Up Your Mind?

The choice is yours, but you’re taking too long to decide if the following situations already exist:

  • Your gut feeling already tells you what the outcome will be. Make a move.
  • What you’re holding onto is destroying you (with chronic stress). Let go.
  • What you're holding onto is empowering you (with good results). Go for it!


Comments

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    • MsDora profile imageAUTHOR

      Dora Weithers 

      5 years ago from The Caribbean

      Mathi, thanks for reading and commenting. I appreciate your support.

    • mathira profile image

      mathira 

      5 years ago from chennai

      The list was amazing MsDora, you have almost touched all aspects of life.

    • MsDora profile imageAUTHOR

      Dora Weithers 

      5 years ago from The Caribbean

      LyricWriter, I appreciate your vey kind comment. Thank you for your valuable input.

    • thelyricwriter profile image

      Richard Ricky Hale 

      5 years ago from West Virginia

      MsDora, very powerful and inspirational article. I love that Bible quote, it's so uplifting. This is something that we can all relate to. We've all see our shares of ups and downs, hanging on to things for to long and holding for dear life on others. Very informed article and great advice, one of the best I've read about this subject. Well done, voted up, useful, awesome, beautiful, and interesting.

    • MsDora profile imageAUTHOR

      Dora Weithers 

      5 years ago from The Caribbean

      Romeas, great day to you, too. Thank you for your very kind input on this article.

    • Romeos Quill profile image

      Romeos Quill 

      5 years ago from Lincolnshire, England

      A great comparative list you've compiled MsDora, and can personally attest to your Psalm 91:14 passage as being totally truthful when exercised in faith.....sure miss Whitney, but her music will live forever....

      Have a wonderful day,

      With Kindest Regards,

      R.Q.

    • MsDora profile imageAUTHOR

      Dora Weithers 

      5 years ago from The Caribbean

      Dellea, thank you stopping by and making a comment. I appreciate you.

    • profile image

      dellea 

      5 years ago

      Very encouraging MsDora!

    • MsDora profile imageAUTHOR

      Dora Weithers 

      5 years ago from The Caribbean

      Glad that I wrote something you like, Ebonny. Thank you for your comment.

    • Ebonny profile image

      Ebonny 

      5 years ago from UK

      Your "How Long is Too Long?" section is particularly worthy of note. Thank you for writing all of this.

    • MsDora profile imageAUTHOR

      Dora Weithers 

      5 years ago from The Caribbean

      Poet, thank you for your kind and sweet comment. Such a pleasure to know you!

    • poetforlife profile image

      Marie Williams 

      5 years ago from Dallas, Texas.

      Another great hub MsDora and it is so needed. Your articles are so insightful and full of wisdom.

    • MsDora profile imageAUTHOR

      Dora Weithers 

      5 years ago from The Caribbean

      Thank you, Hattie Mattie. I appreciate your comment.

    • HattieMattieMae profile image

      Hattie 

      5 years ago from Europe

      I guess you did cover it! Well done!

    • MsDora profile imageAUTHOR

      Dora Weithers 

      5 years ago from The Caribbean

      Comfort B, thanks for your input. It is really good to hear from you!

    • ComfortB profile image

      Comfort Babatola 

      5 years ago from Bonaire, GA, USA

      Though waiting too long may make the heart weary, knowing that good things come to those who wait should give us the courage to hold on, because help is on the way.

      The bible says, "But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint."

      And as the good book always says, "It - shall come to pass".

      Great hub. Enjoyed reading. Voted useful.

    • MsDora profile imageAUTHOR

      Dora Weithers 

      5 years ago from The Caribbean

      Mack, I appreciate your input. Thank you for stopping by.

    • MsDora profile imageAUTHOR

      Dora Weithers 

      5 years ago from The Caribbean

      Thank you, Nell. Encouraged that you see wisdom in my words.

    • Mackinreviews profile image

      Ty 

      5 years ago from Las Vegas

      Great hub! Thank you for sharing. The battle between what the heart feels and what the mind thinks is a never ending one, and it is always hard to come up with a decision when your feelings are involved in any way. Deciding to let go or hold on will always be and I am pretty sure always will be one of those great, age old problems everyone faces in their lifetime. This was a great read, thank you!

    • Nell Rose profile image

      Nell Rose 

      5 years ago from England

      Wise words MsDora, and yes we do hold onto things that we should put in the past, and grip hold of those positive things and emotions, wonderfully put, voted up and shared! nell

    • MsDora profile imageAUTHOR

      Dora Weithers 

      5 years ago from The Caribbean

      You said it, Ann! Thanks for reading and commenting.

    • Ann1Az2 profile image

      Ann1Az2 

      5 years ago from Orange, Texas

      Amen, MsDora! God is our rock and our refuge!

    • MsDora profile imageAUTHOR

      Dora Weithers 

      5 years ago from The Caribbean

      Frank, pleased that you like the article. Your comments mean much coming from an expert artist like you.

    • MsDora profile imageAUTHOR

      Dora Weithers 

      5 years ago from The Caribbean

      Thanks, LoveDoc. You really encourage me.

    • MsDora profile imageAUTHOR

      Dora Weithers 

      5 years ago from The Caribbean

      Faith, thanks for your comment. You're right. No matter what we need to hold on to God.

    • Frank Atanacio profile image

      Frank Atanacio 

      5 years ago from Shelton

      Msdora who would think to put out hubs like this amazing awesome AND USEFUL!!!!

    • profile image

      lovedoctor926 

      5 years ago

      Excellent hub. I really like your work

    • Faith Reaper profile image

      Faith Reaper 

      5 years ago from southern USA

      Wow MsDora,

      Another excellent and insightful hub here. Yes, the One and only who can truly fill that empty hole inside all of us, for He is the Only one who truly satisfies. Even if we are in a healthy love relationship, the One is still what will be missing.

      Up and move and sharing

      God bless you, Faith Reaper

    • MsDora profile imageAUTHOR

      Dora Weithers 

      5 years ago from The Caribbean

      Denise, thanks for your input. You summarize the article very well.

    • MsDora profile imageAUTHOR

      Dora Weithers 

      5 years ago from The Caribbean

      EP, thank you for reading and commenting.

    • denise.w.anderson profile image

      Denise W Anderson 

      5 years ago from Bismarck, North Dakota

      This is a great explanation of how to get rid of self-defeating behaviors and replace them with positive ones. Very well done! The side-by-side affect is powerful.

    • epbooks profile image

      Elizabeth Parker 

      5 years ago from Las Vegas, NV

      Great the way that you explained these and I'm sure we can all recognize each category. Nice job!

    • MsDora profile imageAUTHOR

      Dora Weithers 

      5 years ago from The Caribbean

      Thank you Sheila. You encourage me.

    • profile image

      sheilamyers 

      5 years ago

      As always, your hub is inspirational. It's great how you make the comparisons between what is good and bad as well as give the explanations about why.

    • MsDora profile imageAUTHOR

      Dora Weithers 

      5 years ago from The Caribbean

      Thanks DDE. I appreciate your encouragement.

    • DDE profile image

      Devika Primić 

      5 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Hold On: How Long Is Too Long interesting about this topic because people do create their own situations you are either holding on or get out that holding on situation or don't put yourself in that situation. You have created a useful and a well presented hub.

    • MsDora profile imageAUTHOR

      Dora Weithers 

      5 years ago from The Caribbean

      Rayne, glad you found the article amazing. I appreciate you letting me know your thoughts.

    • MsDora profile imageAUTHOR

      Dora Weithers 

      5 years ago from The Caribbean

      Rose, thank you for your encouraging comment and thank you for sharing.

    • profile image

      Rayne123 

      5 years ago

      Amazing hub for those in a relationship for sure and what a beautiful song by such an icon with an amazing voice.

      Its so sad what happened to such a big icon.

      Beautiful hub

      Blessings

      Laurie

    • rose-the planner profile image

      rose-the planner 

      5 years ago from Toronto, Ontario-Canada

      This is brilliant! I thought this article was very insightful and I really enjoyed the two lists you provided for both "Stop Holding On" and "Keep Holding On". Thank you for sharing. (Voted Up) -Rose

    • MsDora profile imageAUTHOR

      Dora Weithers 

      5 years ago from The Caribbean

      Bill, coming from you, this comment makes my day--and my night. Thanks to your teaching by instruction and by example.

    • billybuc profile image

      Bill Holland 

      5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      I love the way your mind works, Dora, and you are improving as a write before our very eyes. Well done!

    • MsDora profile imageAUTHOR

      Dora Weithers 

      5 years ago from The Caribbean

      Thank you Carola. I appreciate your comment and your support.

    • Carola Finch profile image

      Carola Finch 

      5 years ago from Ontario, Canada

      Interesting hub. I really like the way you laid out the info. Well done. Voted up.

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