Holiday blues, the season that never ends
Feeling the blues
Its not so much that life isn't good. It can be. And its not so much that life isn't fun, it has been, at times, its just that, whatever you may be feeling doesn't last. In a way, this is good news. Imagine if the pain of losing a love one never ended. That would be horrible, but on the flip side, having an amazing evening, an amazing vacation or doing something new for the first time, no matter how amazing any of that is, never again will it ever be the same feeling. No matter how hard you try to replciate it, it will never be the same....and thats the rub with feelings. How serious do you want to take them?
For the longest time, I'd try to chase my feelings. If something felt good, I'd want it to feel good and just like before. I'd go through any lengths imagineable, to recreate that feeling and stop at nothing short of disaster until I did. But this creates a dilemma....what if I can't. Time and time again, I've proven, that I can't. So then what?
How do you learn to just let time and experiences wash over you like a ghost, and so I sit here and think to myself, does it matter? Does it matter to me? Am I going to look back and say, wow, that was fun, or that was miserable and then base my life off of those assumptions of what at one point in time, I decided was worth while.
The holidays always bring out the best and worst in us emotionally. And for some of us, the holiday season lasts 365 days a year. For some of us, there is no reprieve. There is no "feeling normal". Its easy to get angry, frustrated, discouraged and depressed. Look around you! Does anybody seem to be genuinely happy and content with what they've done with their lives, what they're doing with their lives and what they can and will do with their lives?
How often do you sit there and say, that person looks like they have their stuff together, I'm so miserable, I'll never be like that. Here's the hint, you're right. But pay attention to something here....whats to say that person you're looking at and assessing as having it together, is quietly to themselves thinking the same exact thing about you.
So my next point then is, why do so many people lie about their emotions and state of being? We can't all be happy and excited to be shopping and waiting in lines and catching flights and living "the good life". Yet, society in geneal teaches us to go along to get a long and if the masses smile and say, How are you? The answer by default is expected to be "doin good."
That has to be one of the furthest from the truth things in the world. It simply is impossible, and so fake it to you make it i guess, but lets be real. Every day is like a holiday if you're assessing what it truly means to be happy, content and secure. the fact is, we're not all ok, not all "doing good" so quit acting like you are.
If you're angry aout the holdays, let it out. If you're upset that you just don't seem to be going anywhere in life.....let it go. Ultimately, no matter how good or bad you feel, your feelings are not something you own. Aknowledge them, and let them move along as you find whats next in life.