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Loved not lonely

Updated on March 28, 2014

This helped me see the Real ME!

5 stars for Search for Significance

This is NOT a dating article!

This is an article about combating the hopelessness of loneliness with Truth and practical steps!

Loneliness is rampant. Everyone feels it at some point in life. Fitting in, being paired up, having the perfect family...the pressures change with age but the sense of emptiness gnaws at hearts of all ages without discrimination.

In this technological age that calls for greater accomplishments, true heart-connected relationships are rare. In fact, loneliness is growing in the world today. Increasing busy-ness, greater reliance on technology, fears about safety...all have combined to isolate individuals. All increase the number of lonely hearts.

Holidays (e.g. Christmas, Valentines) magnify the emptiness for many. Commercials abound leaving the impression that everyone has a special love--except you.

Relationships take time and investment. A text is not the same as an email. An email is not the same as a call. And a call is not the same as a visit. Eye contact, simple physical touch...evidence that the person you are communicating with 'sees' you is irreplaceable. Learning to develop and nurture those relationships is much more than 'dating.' It is the stuff of real living!

Love-filled Hearts

The answer to loneliness is not outside of you. It is not in a perfect romance or a Norman Rockwell family. It is not in a high-powered career or traveling to beautiful locations. Those are good things, and they may come your way. But the answer to loneliness is filling your heart with love. If you are reading this, that is what you want. The cry is how?

And delight yourself in Jehovah, that He may give you your heart's desire. Psalm 37:4 is a great start. When your heart is set on the God of love, He responds with the desires perfect for you! Determine to honor God first and then walk forward! Learn about love. Enjoy life by exploring hobbies, loving others and learning new things.

God understands the longing for relationship. He created humanity exactly for that reason. His love teaches us how to love. He is the model for relationships. You are not wasting time starting with a love for God. It is the foundation that prepares you to be filled.

Building Relationships

What has worked best for you in connecting with others?

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Building Relationships

Family is God's design for learning about relationships, but life separates us from family roots sometimes. Be confident in your worth--you are a treasure of the King. Get out and enjoy the gift of life:

  • Hobbies are a great way to build connections with people who have similar interests. Embrace an old hobby or take up a new one!
  • Volunteer. It has been said so much, it seems like a cliché. But getting our minds off ourselves is incredibly uplifting!
  • Support Groups are a great option at certain times in life. Divorces, deaths and other life-altering events pierce our hearts and make us vulnerable. Connecting with others in similar situations allows us to help each other--and grow stronger ourselves.
  • Consider taking a course at the community college. What have you always wanted to know more about or do better? Now is the time!
  • Accept the invitations of friends! They really do mean it when they say they like to be with you.
  • Learn about love. It is not what media tells us it. Check out the list below and consider your own actions as well as others. Are you loving? Are you being loved? Love is the highest aim. It takes time to learn.


Absolutely...let's lift others up together!

The Bottom Line: LOVE

The answer for lonely hearts is love. Loving others sincerely begins by receiving the love of the Creator. The verse learned in childhood has great potential for every lonely heart:

For God so loved the world, He gave His only son that whosoever believes on Him shall have everlasting life. (John 3:16)

Believing is action--and so is love. Coming humbly to the Father, accepting that we cannot do for ourselves what will fill our hearts, opens the floodgates for His love. Jesus used the story the of a sin-filled (and forgiven!) woman to teach the religious folks a vital truth:

He who is forgiven much, loves much.

We cannot love until we understand our own lacks--and receive love in spite of them. Love is not earned but it must be received. Check out the actions below and CHOOSE LOVE!

Love is not...

My actions are unloving when they say:

  • I will get even!
  • I will not be patient--I will not suffer long for you!
  • I have given enough!
  • I don’t want to do anything good for you!
  • I want more!
  • I am more important than you!
  • I am right!
  • I don’t care about what you need or think!
  • I want you to do it my way! I am mad and you need to know it!
  • I have been hurt by you too many times!
  • I want you to get what you deserve!
  • I don’t care what God says--I’m doing it my way!
  • I will say what I want--so what if it hurts you!
  • I know you can’t do that--you’re a loser!
  • I know you will never be loving to me!
  • I give up!

Love is ACTIVE!

My actions are loving if I can say, I am:

  • Patient. I don’t need to get even.
  • Kind. I seek to give and to do good.
  • Content. I don’t want what others have.
  • Humble. I don’t need to make myself look good.
  • Peaceable. I don’t always have to be right.
  • Courteous. I show respect.
  • Serving. I don’t have to get my own way.
  • Calm. I don’t blow up and lose my temper.
  • Forgetful. I don’t keep a list of ways I’ve been hurt.
  • Righteous. I want the best for others.
  • Truthful. I love God’s word and try to obey it.
  • Protective. I don’t say hurtful things about (or to) others.
  • Positive. I believe the best about others.
  • Hope. I believe good will come.
  • Endure. I will not give up.



What surprised you in the list of actions of love?

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    • love-2-learn profile imageAUTHOR

      Billie Jo Youmans 

      4 years ago from Richburg, South Carolina

      Thank you for sharing and commenting! I love the learning that every stage of life brings. And I loved your page (mission)--helping people live the positive of all. Blessings to you my new virtual friend.

    • denise.w.anderson profile image

      Denise W Anderson 

      4 years ago from Bismarck, North Dakota

      As I am entering the stage of my life where I am alone more often than not, I have come to a new understanding of the word "lonely." When my children were young, we were always involved in some sort of activity that required people to be around, whether it was school, church, sports, or family events. Now, things are different. I work at employment where I find myself often alone. My children are off with their own families and activities, and my husband works in another city, requiring us to live apart during the week. I have learned that the items you have suggested here are life savers! I have joined a gym, a support group, a choir, and other community activities that give me reasons to rub shoulders with others. Volunteering has also been on my agenda more than in the past. These have been a great help to me and I'm sure will be to others!

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