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How I Learned to Grow From What I Been Through

Updated on September 16, 2018
Pam Morris profile image

Writing is my passion. I have an undying thirst and quest in the field of writing. Some eat, drink or use drugs when stressed, I write.

When your life is "falling apart," it is easy to become discouraged. For that reason, it's necessary to seek ways to stay positive and reflect on the difficulty of living life on life’s terms. Moreover, one of the greatest moments in our lives should come from learning difficult life's experience, no matter how large or small they may seem. Besides, if you are open to the lessons from hardships, disappointments, and failures, you can build an entirely new life and keep moving forward. I have had a season of life where I felt like a big hole has opened up in the earth, and I fell in. And, the most challenging part is regardless of how hard I struggle to climb out; I just couldn't seem to. During my road to self-discovery, a journey of finding life's purpose, I re-read a journal I wrote years ago at one of my lowest moments. Although I did not realize it then, I died a little inside and was reborn to rise again as a wiser version of myself. That very day I learn when life gets hard, live through it and grow through it.

As I experience feeling stagnant inside, I can remember living life as to where I felt utterly helpless and powerless as I wonder as if there anything I could do that would make any difference. Also, I felt the need to take the time to reflect on the person I am — and the woman I desire to be. Without goals and a purpose, it's easy over time, to change into someone you do not want to become. However, for the most part, I have watched the person I care about the most suffer and ache with the deepest soul wounds. Additionally, I had the pleasure of thoroughly living a lavish life and as there’s nothing else for me to do but shop, overspend and give to family and friends as they hang around just to use me for convenience.

Like most of us, I’ve been on both sides of the fence, and from that circumstance, I understand both needs and wants. I have no control over the outside world. However, I do have control over myself, and that gave me a burning urge that was so powerful that it pulled me out of bed in the morning during times I found myself almost too depressed to get out of bed. In all of those experiences I’ve had, I have realized how to choose the right path. Sure, there are differences of roads, but, when I narrow it down to the necessary truth, I often know the right way to take, but I usually struggle with choosing because the route I need to make is often a difficult one filled with obstacles, unknowns, and hard work. There are advantages and disadvantages to being able to live in both worlds; I have learned the position, learned to unlock my most significant resources. It wasn’t easy, but determine not to allow poverty to defeat me, I learn about the advantages of being poor, the disadvantages, and how I can influence my financial past to become my economic victory.

Before I learn to live life, there were times when it was hard, not having enough, although it is easy to live when you have plenty, thinking you are loved and giving when you have unlimited. Nevertheless, the disadvantages are when it times to deal with struggles, having little, it is hard to live with, and it hurt like no other. It brings out all the complicated stuff that exists and all that life throws at you. My life felt as if I were so alone, although there were others in my life. I learned loneliness is when a person is a fragment of him or herself; you FEEL lonely when you are not alone, but, now I can understand not feeling complete since I learn when life gets hard, live through it and grow through it.

Furthermore, too often we seek fulfillment from the foreman, our earnings, specific market conditions or something outside to change, but to be free, we have to outline our goals in a very general way. Also, apply them in our daily lives and learn how to last in hard times, and one must have a desire. My passion gave me the motivation to change my life because I had this burning desire to overcome poverty and it forced me to identify, visualize and move my mind and body towards a particular type of life that I want to live.

After re-reading my journal, it was a reminder of how thankful I am today – I am grateful for each new day that God grants to me, a do-over a second chance. Although I blew it years ago, I do feel that I could have saved myself a couple of years here and there if I'd just told myself, stop having so much pride, swallow your ego and ask for help, pride gets everyone into debt and prevents us all from seeking out a solution. It is said that of all the sins, pride is the lead. I believe that to hold real value, but I was also busy wallowing in self-pity. Don't misunderstand me it is okay to do a little wallowing, as long as it does not paralyze; my problem was I allow it to deaden me. Not anymore, I learn when life gets hard, live through it and grow through it.

For me, not knowing how to "swallow my pride" meant feeling as if I was in a 'Battle for my Mind,' a series of trains ride, operating through my brain, and there's no stopping for rest or sleep. If only I had pushed my pride aside to know the core of not having to learn the hard way. Although it would have bothered me to ask for help; if I could go back in time, I would "swallow my pride," and ask even though it would feel awkward. Asking would have avoided all the embarrassment that occurred and prevents the time when I would stress, and the various concerns that prevented me from falling asleep. Now, instead of focusing on what I do not have, I focus on what I have. That is how I learn when life gets hard, live through it and grow through it.

Lifelong learning is the "ongoing, willingness, and self-motivated" pursuit of knowledge for personal or professional growth. When learning how to live and grow in life, this is a lifelong habit; it is about getting in touch with fears, staying in contact with the physical feeling of doubt, embracing and welcoming and being curious about whatever is in front of you.

Life has been very hard for me yet, at the same time, it has taught me a pleasant ordeal. I learned that I would repeatedly end up disappointed and hurt to think people will do for me as I did for them. Especially since not everyone has the same heart as me, I had to accept things as they are, if I did not, I would suffer because I imagined differently. Yes, we have all faced various levels of hindrances, disappointments, and sadness, just as some have had days where they wake up wondering what will go wrong next. From those kinds of days, I learn there is just no way I can always control what happens to me. Indeed, there will be days when people and life's circumstances occasionally knock me down. From that, I want to revisit and discuss how I was tempted to lose hope.

A year ago, before I found peace, I would wake up feeling liveness trying to make it through the day with only a few hours of sleep and not know how to begin living. I felt as if my heart been crushed beyond recognition repeatedly. There were times when I was unsure of the decisions I made, and sometimes I was sure they were wrong choices. I even went through situations where my path was utterly unclear, and I did not know if I want to continue the next step or just walk off a cliff. However, now, I plan and know how to handle my life, and I am the first to acknowledge that when life gets hard, don’t give up, you can live through it, and grow through it.

Before I learn how to control my life things got so hard and rough that I had to remind myself not to allow life and its challenges to continue choosing a negative future for me. It seems like the people I felt I need was becoming more and more disconnected from me, I felt lonely and afraid. Also, I allow the people I care about the most to affect my overall mood swing. There were times when I waited and waited. For minutes. For hours, even for days, longing to hear friends and loves one voice, but all I had was silence. Then I came to the realization I did not need to listen to their views or excuses or what they have to say for themselves because their actions already spoke the truth.

Though I felt alone and disappointed, I decided they all treat me like an option, so I left like what I had a choice. Although it hurts to let go, I knew it would bother me more to hold on. Yes, it was one of those times I feel a sense of loss, but, I decided I WILL survive and I WILL get through this. I learn from my fear that if I let go of the things I am terrified of and step out in faith, I can live a peaceful life and, I can overcome my anxiety. I discovered from not letting go of my fear that it when I was overwhelmed. I had no idea of where to go. However, to have faith and get out of God’s way, He will help me repair the mess I made of my life and bring me out.

One of the most challenging things anyone may ever have to face is how sad it is to realize you are not as important to your friends and love ones as you thought you were. I found myself in this situation, and I wondered ‘How can this be God?’ ‘There's no way I can continue.' Primarily, since the people closest to me that I thought would support me was gone and as I attempt to balance my daily workload, I was in search of answers as to what am I to do in these trials times.

On my journey to find peace, I was reminded there would come times when I will get tired and exhausted, I would even be betrayed by those closest to me but be determined not to quit. Also, I remembered my God are with me, and that encourage me to stick to my goals, hear these words when I say God was working for my good and I made it through, so, remember when life gets hard, you can live through it, grow through it.

How I Learn to Grow From What I Been Through

What are your thoughts and opinions on the subject, “How I Learn: When Life Gets Hard, live through it  and grow through it.”

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The Only Way to Know is to Live, Learn and Grow Lauryn Hill Quote

James Fortune & FIYA - Live Through It

You don't go through life, you grow through life - Kevin Ollie Quote

How do you start growing through life? Here's a helpful guide:

Have a Good Attitude
Have Courage
People often ask about the most powerful things I’ve learned in my around-the-world explorations. This is what I tell them....
What we think determines what happens to us, so if we want to change our lives, we need to stretch our minds." Wayne Dyer
"One isn't necessarily born with courage, but one is born with potential. Without courage, we cannot practice any other virtue with consistency. We can't be kind, true, merciful, generous, or honest." Maya Angelou
People are inherently good. Despite the scary anecdotes from news outlets, movies, and well-meaning, but uninformed friends, the world isn’t as dangerous as it seems.
"Choosing to be positive and having a grateful attitude is going to determine how you're going to live your life." Joel Osteen
"What would life be if we had no courage to attempt anything?" Vincent Van Gogh
You grow through what you go through. From the planning stages to actually being on the road, I’m a firm believer that travel makes you stronger on all levels
Life is a series of experiences, each one of which makes us bigger, even though sometimes it is hard to realize this. For the world was built to develop character, and we must learn that the setbacks and grieves which we endure help us in our marching onward." Henry Ford
"You may not always have a comfortable life and you will not always be able to solve all of the world's problems at once but don't ever underestimate the importance you can have because history has shown us that courage can be contagious and hope can take on a life of its own." Michelle Obama
Gratitude is the sign of noble souls. The Greek storyteller Aesop said that, and any good traveller should never forget it. Exploring the world, as well as seeing how other people live, has made me recognize how hugely privileged I am. I have travelled to countries where poverty is rife, where the infrastructure and political situation have made day-to-day life difficult, and where freedom of speech and movement are nearly impossible.
"The only disability in life is a bad attitude." Scott Hamilton
I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear." Nelson Mandela
"The greatest day in your life and mine is when we take total responsibility for our attitudes. That's the day we truly grow up." John C. Maxwell
"How few there are who have courage enough to own their faults, or resolution enough to mend them." Benjamin Franklin
"Bad things do happen; how I respond to them defines my character and the quality of my life. I can choose to sit in perpetual sadness, immobilized by the gravity of my loss, or I can choose to rise from the pain and treasure the most precious gift I have - life itself." Walter Anderson
"Be courageous. I have seen many depressions in business. Always America has emerged from these stronger and more prosperous. Be brave as your fathers before you. Have faith! Go forward!" Thomas A. Edison
"You cannot have a positive life and a negative mind." Joyce Meyer
"Courage is on display every day, and only the courageous wring the most out of life". Zig Ziglar
"Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts." Winston Churchill

© 2017 Pam Morris


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    • Pam Morris profile imageAUTHOR

      Pam Morris 

      17 months ago from Atlanta Georgia

      Thank you, Patty, for your reply. Sound like you earn a lot from life's struggles as I have. The saying, what doesn't kill you, can make you stronger is accurate, and I learn that the hard way. I will make sure I read your poem; I am sure it's awesome. Thank you again for your well worth reply, and I appreciate your kind words of encouragement.

    • pattyfloren profile image

      Patty Florence 

      17 months ago from Illinois

      I love how you format your articles. You seem to put alot of thought into your work. I've gain some nice insights and will continue to grow through my struggles. Some things I been there, done that. Thank you and keep up the good work. ps. especially like those quotes. I wrote a poem. "I don't have the courage, but I will try".

    • Pam Morris profile imageAUTHOR

      Pam Morris 

      17 months ago from Atlanta Georgia

      Thank you so much Dianemae, I appreciate your response and the compliment.

    • Dianemae profile image


      17 months ago

      I like your line," I do have control over myself"We all do and we need to take it and be responsible. Great article with plenty of thought and real solutions, or ideas to get you thinking.

    • Pam Morris profile imageAUTHOR

      Pam Morris 

      17 months ago from Atlanta Georgia

      Thank you very much, Angel, for telling me my article is a Great article and it's Very moving and motivational. I'm so pleased to know that it brightens your day. I'm flattered that you think it's worthy of sharing to do as I hoped it do to help and encourage others going through struggles!

      Thank again for your kind comments

    • Angel Guzman profile image

      Angel Guzman 

      17 months ago from Joliet, Illinois

      Great article. Very moving and motivational.


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