- Death & Loss of Life
How NOT to Commit Suicide : 12 Escape Doors to Break The Shackles of Mental Trap
Definition and Cause - Lets start from the roots!
"Suicide" is a scary word. I had to place my ginger tea on the table, as I had to hold the today's newspaper properly. It caught my attention with news of a couple, who ended life, in their home, in separate rooms. Suicide has always appalled me to the core I have always tried to find the reason, as to what provokes a person to take such a drastic step. I learned after further reading the newspaper that unemployment was the reason behind it. While we are afraid of getting bruised by a needle or a blade, few people are determined to let their bodies suffer till death for some reasons. What are they?
When the power of coping with the pain is more than the pain itself, you feel suicidal. Few of the common reasons, as https://mentalhealthdaily.com elaborates are mental illness, traumatic disorders, bullying, personality disorders, drug addiction, eating disorders, unemployment, social isolation, relationship issues, family history, philosophical desire, terminal illness, chronic pain, financial problems, prescription drugs. (their article is worth reading!)
All of the above reasons of suicide stimulated one feeling. Hopelessness. A feeling that tells you that there's no way out and the path of life, which we imagined as kids, is just the opposite. A feeling that confirms - that there can not be any other alternative. It's an assurance that shouts in your mind "All the doors are closed for me!". This feeling is dangerous. Admit it, we all face tough times.If you are a human and alive, you will face problems. The only people that doesn't face problems are the dead and non-living things. I would be the first person to agree with you that there are circumstances which make us think that life is too tough to handle. Life hits you with a metal brick on your head sometimes, so hard that you loose consciousness and fall.
Gearing Up for Life
What if I told you that you don't have a choice to die. You have to live a and fight back. When there are choices, there are problems. But haven't you heard that Japanese proverb "Fall seven times, stand up eight" ? In simple words - Get up no matter how many times you fall. People who you see as legends would have never been legends IF they allowed that feelings of hopelessness to absorb them. They got up every time life tested them. We have negative bias towards everything inherently. Call that as a flaw or the necessity, but out of the 10 things that you would've experienced, you remember or reflect more on only the bad that happened to you. When you go to sleep every night, you think about all the things that you could've done correctly during the day. Coincidence? Do not worry, its a natural human tendency.
If YOU are in a suicide trap, I will not want to argue with you. But will show you 12 unseen escape doors, to your mental trap. Here they are:
The Golden 3P Rule
Pass the Pain on a Paper. Or you can say "Journaling". Write your feelings out on a fresh piece of paper in silence. When you vent out your feelings on a piece of paper, its as good as having a conversations with an old friend who listens with sincere dedication. It might go on for minutes to hours. It can be abuses or praises. No one's looking. No one is going to read, but you. Do not worry. Until the feeling of hopelessness doesn't find a way to flush out, keep scribbling. Make sure you are honest. One master technique is write all the things that you dislike, and either see it burn or see it flushed in the bathroom. When you do that, you didn't actually burn the paper - you burned your hopelessness. When you flushed out that paper, you actually kicked out hopelessness from your life.
Gratitude - A Magic Pill
One of the most powerful feelings in the world. Recall the natural tendency I referred above and start writing about the things you are grateful for. It might sound silly, but those are the things which only few are rewarded with. What am I talking about here? - It might be your life, health, family, money, a roof over your head, two meals a day, the power of intelligence, the power of choice that you've, for the human being that you are (you could've had any other life form, but you are one of the most dominant species on the only planet were life exists!). A million children slept hungry last night. Thousands lost their loved ones in an accident. Hundreds of people went bankrupt last night. Lets be grateful, that we're not one of them. Always remember - you are always in the centre. If you are feeling miserable, there are people who've felt more miserable than you. They never thought of giving up. Why do you?
Sweat It Out
Ever wondered why a sweeper laughs more openly than a millionaire? Ever wondered why a car drivers are full of wisdom? just because the hormone that makes you happy - serotonin, endorphin and dopamine are released because of physical activity. While you are sitting and reading, just shake your leg and see. Don't you feel better when you do that? Sometimes, when our mind is idle and running a devil's workshop in between four walls, we need to order it sternly to get out of the house and move. Ancient scholars walked more - because walking helped them make fantastic decisions!
Thank You, Universe
Yes, I am referring to Positive Affirmations. Something that tricks the brain to believe that everything is OK! I've read many self help books. None of them miss out elaborating positive affirmations. They say that at a quantum level, there's a process which converts thoughts into things. e = mc^2. Energy, if travels with the square of the light speed will convert into a thing i.e. materialize. But there's a trick how this can be followed. Example - you need a car. Say loudly every day "I have a car and I love it!". You need to feel as if you already have a car, daily. The mental waves reach the universe, which always supports you. And one fine day, it becomes a reality. If you are fleeing hopeless say "I am the happiest person I ever know!". Close your eyes and feel it. See the magic of the doors of
Hello, Dear Friend, I need Help
As I mentioned before, hopelessness is a feeling that eats you up from inside and provokes you to suicide. Your heart is suddenly heavy and you get urges to share. Either journal it, or call someone you really trust. Say that you are feeling dull and that you need to share something desperately. And vent that feeling out of your brain and heart, until you feel offloaded! Let it take hours together. After all, what are friends for?
Remove Those Goggles
When we look inwards i.e. introspect, we can see ill feelings that provokes us to take drastic steps. Those feelings build up a false reference frame or I can say goggles - which makes you think that all the doors are closed for you. You need to remove those goggles asap, and see the world as it is. The world has always been a beautiful place to live in and will always be - no matter what the circumstance. Out of the billions and billions of people and such a diverse world, how can you think that you are out of possibilities? Stop reacting to the immediate situation which makes you feel bad, and think about possibilities that our mother world can offer!
Merely walking on a wet grass with no shoes or slippers on can elevate you. Just seeing the sunset with its grandeur can amaze you. We are all made of five elements of nature, its just that we've complicated our lives by technology and cell phones that buzzes every second. We are actually sons and daughters of nature. Pat an animal - it may be a dog or a cat, you are sure to feel better. Why are people who travel more - happy? Because nature soothes and relaxes our senses. Get out and get going! You might want to go to a lonely place and shout out loudly on the top of your voice until the ghost of hopelessness gets scared and is forced to call quits with you!
Follow Thy Leader
Self help gurus are people who has an ocean of wisdom through their experiences and are ready to share when ever you need them. I am not asking you to follow people disguised as gurus by orange clothes and big beards suggesting illogical tricks to get out of frustrations. I am asking you to follow those, who face frustrations just like us, they are the real gurus. I am a follower of Robin Sharma and Sandeep Maheshwari. I have read Discover Your Destiny 15 times in on different occasions. That is the book he wrote on a highway having his car stopped when a flood of thoughts came to his mind, at the moment when he was broke and felt suicidal. That book talks to you when you are low. If you hate reading - search for an audio book, its easily available these days. (Torrents are banned in India! - kidding.) I would also suggest the book - How to Stop Worrying and Start Living by Dale Carnegie. I can re-read the book millions of times. What a life savior that book is!
I Accept the Challenge
Think about destiny as person, trying to win over you. If you are feeling suicidal, that just means - you are allowing destiny to win. It (your destiny) always found ways to defeat you and now, it has over powered you already! You just got hypnotized by its illusion and are unable to open eyes. It is waiting for you to tap on the ground, and give up. At that time, tell your destiny mentally "No matter what situations you put me in, I am always going to stand up and find solutions.". Because diamonds are hammered before they glitter. Roses are crushed before perfumes are made. metal is heated to thousands of degrees before they take superb shapes. Its how you react to situations. A potato softens to boiling water, while an egg becomes tougher than it was.
This Too Shall Pass
Remember that pain doesn't last forever. If you are feeling miserable, that is momentary. Just as you are hungry at times, and tired at others, feeling hopeless is just a matter of time. Do not allow that feeling to get in your nerves, rather keep looking for an alternative solution. Our feelings constantly fluctuate, and the thought of suicide is cent percent momentary. Breath, and let is pass by. This too shall pass.
Don't Hurt Your Loved Ones
Think about your parents. While you were a child, they worked day in and day out to nurture you. They didn't think about anything else, but you. Think about your friends and people who love you. Those happy moments you spent with them. None of them would agree with your thoughts at this moment, whatever be the case. The best way out is in! Though you are feeling bad, let that feeling stay in your mind. Feel the pain, but not necessary you should act on it. Its nothing to be ashamed of. You are not alone, feeling hopeless. There are millions. Look in the mirror and say "Damn! you are awesome!". Do anything, but please, don't hurt your loved ones.
Rejection is the sign of progress. Those who are never rejected or failed, never tried to do anything worthy in their lives. These are stumbling blocks, not the end. If you are rejected and that has led you to feeling depressed, feel proud, because you are in a rare community of people who try, try try and never think about giving up. You are a soldier.
Suicidal thoughts are all chemicals in your mind. None of them should affect you at all. Suicide is a coward step that only the weak people take. You are strong. Suicide is denying life and letting destiny win. And why, on this earth, do you want someone to win over you? You are important. You are much more than you've ever imagined. May be some day, you'd wake up, and laugh at this decision you had taken. So keep calm and stop suicide. Right NOW.