How To Deal With A Loved Ones Illness- Feelings and Chronic Illness Etiquette
Chronic Illness Is Hard On Everyone
Dealing With Chronic Illness
This is information to help you know how someone who is chronically ill feels about you and this is basically a How To Guide to help you out. It's important you know how to respond whether you are the one reading this who is sick, or the one that is dealing with an ill friend or family member. This information can go both ways
If you are the one who is chronically ill or you have a friend or loved one that is chronically ill, this information is not to hurt anyone's feelings. This is to simply guide you and let you know how to deal with the ill loved one and give you tips. I will let you know how to know when it's okay you drop by and visit and so on. Please read this with the understand of this to be with good intentions, and not to hurt anyone's feelings whatsoever. This will really help you understand how to deal with the situation and not leaving after a visit to your friend thinking they don't want you around or what have you.
Stopping By To Visit Someone Who Is Sick
Chronic Illness Etiquette
If you have a friend/family member that has a chronic condition that might require a phone call before a visit, then don't be afraid to pick up the phone and ask. Let me tell you first hand, they won't feel obligated nor will they feel offended. At most, they will feel like taking a deep breath and thinking, "Oh, thank God they called first." Reason? Well, when you just "pop" in on them to see how they are feeling, they feel a little overwhelmed for one. The house may not be up to par, or they may be sleeping or just don't feel good that day. When you come unexpectedly, (Even though you stopped by because you care or just want to see how they are doing or need anything, which is a terrific thing to do and they know it!) they feel obligated to sit and visit and don't want to push you out the door.
Now, for those of you that are sick and need to know how to respond to those who just "pop" by and you feel obligated to sit and visit or your house is a wreck or you just feel like crap that day and don't want to visit.
A Messy House is A House That is Lived In
Helpful information for the one's who are sick
Don't feel ashamed of your house! You are sick and they know it and don't expect your house to be spic and span
Invite them in with a smile and let them know you are having a bad day and they are welcome to sit in the living room with you on the couch while you lay down and talk. (also, even though you don't mean to, it gives them the sense of maybe they shouldn't stay long, so it kills two birds with one stone without hurting their feelings)
It's okay to tell them you really need to take a nap or whatever you need to do. Again, after all, they know you have a problem and they came by to see you regardless of your condition, so it won't hurt their feelings.
Finally, when they walk out the door, thank them for coming and thinking of you but make sure to speak up and ask them nicely to please call first the next time and you will be better prepared for their company. Believe me, they will feel better next time coming over knowing they are really "wanted" and not feeling like they've made you feel worse by coming over
Effects of Being Ill
It puts a huge strain on those that don't feel good or sick half the time because of their illness. Moreover; it makes us feel like a heel when you come over and are sitting there looking at us like we don't want you there or something. It's a horrible feeling to us knowing that we were not good company. When you leave, we either feel like we mistreated you because we really wanted to visit and see you, but you just came at a bad time because it wasn't on "our terms," which sounds selfish and I don't want it to sound that way. "Our terms" isn't meant to sound like we are demanding or insensitive. It means that WE are sensitive to YOUR feelings and we do not want to hurt them.
It's not that you have to make an appointment, and it's not that you are interrupting us that are sick. Please understand that a phone call to pick up the phone and say, "would you like me to come over later and see you and what would be a good time for you?" means the world to those who are chronically ill or have some sort of health problems. Even if you call and say you would like to come over sometime this week, would give us some sort of notice to either prepare mentally, physically or do whatever we have to do to just visit for an hour.
Chronic Illness Takes It's Toll
A Few More Things You Should Know About Stopping By To Visit
This may sound a little contradicting, but please don't just totally ignore us either because you are afraid to bother us. I know it really doesn't make sense after all what I just said, but there is a happy medium, and it's really not up to you to find it, it's up to the chronically ill. We will let you know subtly, when we don't feel like company. So, DO call us before you come over please! Don't assume we don't want you there. If you have health problems, you really do get sick of staring at four walls all days long, but there really isn't much we can do about it, so someone stopping by for a cup of coffee is more than welcomed, but again, unfortunately it has to be at our convenience and not yours. Sorry to be so blunt, but I'm trying to help you.
It was pointed out to me, and I do want to clarify one thing: That is-This article is for Chronic Illness or health problems. If you have a loved one that is terminal or is very sick in nature; no need to make plans. But maybe check to see if they are up to a visit.
You may read about a Cancer story that is close to me here. Cancer was not found on a pap smear. Very important information for all women .You may read the story at My Cancer Story.
- Amazon.com: Because My Body Told Me So -My Cervical Cancer Story eBook: Lisa Washington: Kindle Stor
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