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How to be Happy By Learning how to be Totally Miserable Self Help Book

Updated on June 22, 2016
Happiness is in your control!
Happiness is in your control! | Source

How To Be Happy - A Self Help Book

How To Be Totally Miserable A Self-Hinder Book: Is a self book that uses parody and reverse psychology was written by John Bytheway. The book pokes fun at how we tend to always be a little more pessimistic than we should be.

It doesn't matter how foul your mood is, or how bad you think your life is going, this book will make you chuckle and see the error of your ways.

It will show you how you're always one thought away from being happy, if you would only choose to be - it's amazing how powerful our mind is in deciding our moods.

Sad? Or Happy? It's Your Choice

Thumbs up for choosing to be happy
Thumbs up for choosing to be happy | Source

Believe It Or Not Being Miserable Is A Choice

You can choose how to be happy: A couple of months ago, I found myself drifting slowly into the poor me, why is everything going wrong? Life sucks train of thought. Then I came across this gem in a book store, How To Be Totally Miserable.

Just like my dear sweet mother used to do when I was a teenager and young adult, this book put a smile on my face. Whenever the concept is pointed out to me that I can choose to be miserable or happy. I always pick the latter... Sometimes all we need is that little boost, to remember that how we choose to face the world, depends entirely on us. We decide whether we will be miserable, or happy.

Stop Rolling Your Eyes

You may roll your eyes when you read that happiness is a choice, but it is. A want to use anger as an example of proof that you're in control of your emotions - they're not in control of others.

You're really grumpy and had a hard day. You come home from work and you lose it on your spouse - he or she hit your last nerve and you can't stop yourself. You yell, maybe swear, say some unkind things, or maybe even throw something.

Your mad, you want to punch a wall and they knew it, but said what they said anyways.

Let's look at another scenario.

You're really grumpy and had a hard day. You're at the airport going through security and the guard makes you take everything out of our bag, threatens to confiscate your tablet, calls you a liar and is rude to you the whole time. he or she hit your last nerve and you can't stop yourself. You yell, maybe swear, say some unkind things, or maybe even throw something.

No you don't any of these things - why, because control your anger and consciously choose to act a different way.

This is exactly how you're in charge of your happiness emotion.

How strongly do you agree that feeling happy is your choice?

See results
You can go left or right
You can go left or right | Source

Poor Me Pity Party

When I was growing up, whenever something didn't go my way, as a typical teenager I would start preparations for a poor me pity party. Thankfully, my mom would always stop me before the festivities got into full swing. She would say, "Poor Kora, her life is so rough; she has no friends; nobody loves her; she has nowhere to live; and nothing to eat."

After a few minutes of her carrying on with over exaggerated facial expressions while saying this to me my initial feelings of indignation faded, I would always see how ridiculous I was being. Just because things don't go right, doesn't mean that everything is a complete disaster.

You won't ever be happy by feeling sorry for yourself.

Refuse to Self Pity

There's an excellent article on the Psychology Today website that shares the story of a woman named Sabrina. Horrible things happened to her simultaneously and then a few months later her mom was diagnosed with cancer and died within 6 months.

Of course she was in a deep depression, but questions and advice the doctor gave her totally changed her thinking and got her out of it. If you're prone to self pity parties, you definitely want to check it out.

Are you A Self Inflicted Victim?

If you want to know if your a self inflicted victim of self pity, you'll want to check out this article I found on the Loner Wolf blog.

The article outlines 11 signs that you're sabotaging yourself, basically. Many of them you've probably heard before but some signs may surprise you, such as

You have a strong fighting instinct.

This can be a good thing or a bad thing, depending on what you choose to use it for. When used in a negative sense, the fighting instinct is used to battle against life, to fight against the tide, and to fight against accepting reality.

Negative Attitudes That Interfere With Your Happiness

John Bytheway makes good use of his self-help book by using various examples of how we hinder ourselves with negative thinking. He writes in a way that hits home - how close we are to the flip side of thinking positively.

The simplicity of the book is what makes it unique. It is not a list of self-help strategies that you have to study and implement. As you read, you quickly realize how easy it is to turn situations around in your head to see a positive perspective.

Below are three examples of how he uses humor to offset misery.

How to Be Happy

Each chapter in this pocket sized book, uses reverse psychology to point out how our thought patterns teach us to be miserable.:

1. How Miserable People Think: Each chapter title lists a thought pattern that leads to misery.

2. What Happy People Do: The chapter discusses what happy people do with the thoughts to achieve a positive outcome.

3. What To Do To Be Totally Miserable: Tells you what you have to do to stay being totally miserable.

Watch This Little Guy When You're Pouting

3 Examples Of How To Be Miserable

Think About Your Problems: To be miserable, you have to spend a lot of your time thinking about your problems. There are many fun and interesting things to think about, but doing so may lead to happiness. To be totally miserable, you have to ignore all of your opportunities and only think about your problems.

Believe That Things Will Never Change: Seasons come and go, and if your heart aches, it will heal, and if you are going through trials, things will change. However, if you are striving to be miserable, you will have to ignore all of this...

Think About Yourself: Miserable people think about themselves constantly. They live in their own world. Happy people know that the key to being happy is making others smile. The world becomes a better place when people make a difference in the lives of others. Miserable people only think of others when they want to compare themselves to them, which leads to vanity or bitterness and of course, more misery.

The Gift Of Positive Thinking for all ages

How To Be Totally Miserable by John Bytheway, is the quickest and easiest way to utilize the power of positive thinking. This compact, light-weight 81-page book, is small enough to fit in your pocket so you can take it with you everywhere you go.

It's a perfect gift or token of appreciation for yourself or others in your life. Particularly, people who tend to take life's twists and turns to heart, from children who can read, to seniors.

In fact, showing children how feeling negative is silly is a great way to prepare them for their teenager years, and adulthood.

Check out This Self-Help Book

You are amazing but you can't be amazing if your pouting and feeling sorry for yourself. When you're in that mood, or state of mind you're only hurting yourself.

If nothing else, it will put a smile on your face and when you're smiling (even if it's a fake smile) you can change your emotional state and reduce stress. So just image how much you'll help yourself understanding that what you're thinking is ridiculous and laughing while you're doing it.

The Gift That Keeps On Giving for ALL AGES

Penny For Your Thoughts?

How do you:

  • Deal with life's stresses?
  • Stay positive?
  • Provide service to others?
  • How did your parents teach you to deal with life's bumps?


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    • KoraleeP profile imageAUTHOR

      Koralee Phillips 

      2 years ago from Vancouver British Columbia Canada

      Thank you Nauman Nazir. I'm glad you enjoyed the article.

    • NNazir profile image

      Nauman Nazir 

      2 years ago from Pakistan

      very nice and inspiring article....

    • KoraleeP profile imageAUTHOR

      Koralee Phillips 

      4 years ago from Vancouver British Columbia Canada

      Hi, ValKaras :D, thanks for stopping by. I'll have to check out "Happiness is a Choice."

    • ValKaras profile image

      Val Karas 

      4 years ago from Canada

      Koralee - What an inspirational hub! Bravo! Just like you found that book, I got a similar one called "Happiness IS A Choice", by Barry Neil Kaufman. I have read it so many times that one look at its front cover is enough to bring up all the inspiration from it.

    • KoraleeP profile imageAUTHOR

      Koralee Phillips 

      4 years ago from Vancouver British Columbia Canada

      Thanks Rabadi :D I'm glad you enjoyed it.

    • Rabadi profile image

      4 years ago from New York

      Great read!

    • KoraleeP profile imageAUTHOR

      Koralee Phillips 

      6 years ago from Vancouver British Columbia Canada

      If you have a chance to read it, it's a really cute read.

    • electronician profile image

      Dean Walsh 

      6 years ago from Birmingham, England

      I think I need to read this. I can be quite bad at being negative and self-sabotaging; plus I like parodies.

    • KoraleeP profile imageAUTHOR

      Koralee Phillips 

      7 years ago from Vancouver British Columbia Canada

      Hi Ebonny: I am glad you found this Hub helpful!

    • KoraleeP profile imageAUTHOR

      Koralee Phillips 

      7 years ago from Vancouver British Columbia Canada

      Thanks DDE for voting up.

    • KoraleeP profile imageAUTHOR

      Koralee Phillips 

      7 years ago from Vancouver British Columbia Canada

      Thank you Rogene for stopping and thanks for your comment!.

    • Ebonny profile image


      7 years ago from UK

      Many thanks for sharing Koralee - I feel happier for reading this confirmation and reminder that I am on the right track. Voted up.

    • DDE profile image

      Devika Primić 

      7 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Think positive an d be happy for yourself a smile makes the day. Voted up!

    • profile image

      Rogene Robbins 

      7 years ago

      I'm all about positive thinking. Great book review, will have to check it out.

    • KoraleeP profile imageAUTHOR

      Koralee Phillips 

      7 years ago from Vancouver British Columbia Canada

      Thank you Bake Like a Pro. I highly recommend the book as a quick read when one is feeling down.

    • Bake Like a Pro profile image

      Bake Like a Pro 

      7 years ago

      Great article Koralee. I totally agree that it's a choice we make and I see it all around me. I will get the book for someone that badly needs it. Thank you for sharing this info. I love the photos you picked :).

    • Brett.Tesol profile image

      Brett C 

      8 years ago from Asia

      Make the choice to be happy! And happy spirits of others will be drawn to you ;-).

      Shared, up and useful.

    • KoraleeP profile imageAUTHOR

      Koralee Phillips 

      8 years ago from Vancouver British Columbia Canada

      Hello MsDora. Thanks for you very much for your comment :)

    • KoraleeP profile imageAUTHOR

      Koralee Phillips 

      8 years ago from Vancouver British Columbia Canada

      Hi Catgypsy :). Thanks so much for your comments. I'm glad you enjoyed the book. I really found it to be a quick attitude/mood booster. I

    • KoraleeP profile imageAUTHOR

      Koralee Phillips 

      8 years ago from Vancouver British Columbia Canada

      Hi GClark. Thanks for your comments and for sharing your Hub! I really enjoyed it :)

    • catgypsy profile image


      8 years ago from the South

      Got the book and it's great!

    • MsDora profile image

      Dora Weithers 

      8 years ago from The Caribbean

      Thanks for sharing. Sounds like a good, helpful read.

    • catgypsy profile image


      8 years ago from the South

      Great hub and great timing...for me...been headed toward the door to the pity party the last couple of days. This truly made me smile and I'm ordering the book today! Thanks!

    • GClark profile image


      8 years ago from United States

      Thoroughly enjoyed this Hub and totally agree about it all being a matter of choice - note: have written on similar topics myself such as the following found at


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