How To Deal With A Midlife Crisis, A Women's Perspective
To answer your question
This hub was written in response a question on how to deal with a midlife crisis from a woman's perspective. Since the requester was a man's name I am assuming the question was more about how can a husband, son or significant other help the woman in their life cope with this issue. I have had some experience with a midlife crisis and I have been with other women who have gone through the the same. The following is obviously my opinion and ways I have felt or coped with my situation. As always I invite feedback from others on how they have coped with their situation
Understanding Midlife Crisis
Before we can delve right into how to cope with a midlife crisis we have to understand what it is. A mid life crisis is as unique as the individual. Feelings of self doubt or uncertainty can be brought on by any changes in one's life. Divorce, death or even a child leaving the home can cause one to question their own life. Perhaps the life changing event has left you to redefine yourself. Roles of being a mother or a wife may be changed due to circumstances beyond your control. You find yourself looking to see where you might fit in again. It is never easy being out of your comfort zone.
Below is a good example of a midlife crisis and some sound advice.
Do you have a similar issue?
What are the Symptoms of a Midlife Crisis?
How do you recognize a midlife crisis? There are some symptoms of midlife crisis you can recognize. Maybe the person is wearing younger looking clothes or maybe the person is trying to find something to make thems feel youthful again. A lot of retrospection and reflection goes on here. assessing life's goals and seeing how far one has come. Some of this behavior is normal.. we all reassess ourselves at one time or another. think how we are on our birthdays.. I still think about that children's book I never yet published! Although this behavior is normal we have to look out for the behaviors that are not so good, such as drinking. Another famous trademark of the Midlife Crisis is the acquisition of expensive items. ( ie the old man in the sports car!) It is particularly important that you look for signs of depression. Remember you are the expert on this person you love!
What does a woman need most?
I believe what a woman needs to do most when going through a crisis is gain control of her life. Obviously when crisis occurs there is some external force she can't control causing her great stress. The event could be divorce, a birthday, a child moving out of the home the death of a loved one..or nothing particular at all . Great stress creates great emotion. Double Whammy!
All she can do at this time is create changes in her. This is the point when is would be wise to actually map out your life. There are tons of websites that can tell you how to actually draw a map of your life. This is time to take perspective and see where you have been and where you want your life to go. Encourage her NOT TO BE STRESSED if your life has not been on the track you planned. Count the positives in your life learn from the negatives and move on. Remember Today is the first day of the rest of your life... Enough cliches for ya?
There are areas a woman CAN take control of even if it is to a small detail. Your diet, your finances, your love life or your health. We all have a certain degree of control over these issues. You can educate yourself on the healthy things to eat, you can go for a walk for exercise YOU CAN create a reasonable budget.
Write a mission statement.. what your goals are over the next several days weeks or years. Take time to put pictures in an album or on a website such as facebook or myspace. Organize your memories that you cherish so you can share them with others!
Crisis Creates Opportunity
on the upside of crisis.. it can create opportunity for change. Sometimes it takes a life shake up to put us back on the paths we need to be on. A crisis such as this can make us a better person. Don't waste your money on frivolous monetary things that you think will give you fulfillment. No need for that tummy tuck or face lift! You are beautiful from the inside out!
Take her seriously
You need to take the concerns of the woman in crisis seriously. Sometimes all it takes to resolve an issue is that she gets her point across. Be sincere and genuine in your communication with her. Give eye contact a reassuring gesture and use paraphrasing to make sure you understand her point of view. ( so you feel extra stressed due to all the responsibilities you have...) Another person's perspective may help her understand more on how she is feeling or give her a solution to her problem. Please whatever you do don't tell her she is hormonal!
Even though there may be a lot on her mind encourage her to stay busy. Walk, craft, blog or even clean house. Studies say cleaning your home is one of the best ways to beat the blues. If it is your significant other is having the issue have her go out with her friends or other family members. Maybe a pedicure with her sister or drinks with friends will help relieve the stress she is feeling. Do not hover over her constantly. Assure her you are there but let her have her freedom to explore other parts of her. Perhaps a pottery or painting class or yoga might might give her an opportunity to express herself.
Learn something new!!!
take time to relax
Take care of yourself
As with any crisis you need to take care of yourself. Take extra time for things you like to do. Take time for that walk or hot bath or read a favorite book.
Do not isolate
Yes this is time for taking perspective but don't go into hibernation. You can gain true perspective on your situation by calling a friend or making a plans with a long time friend. Isolating can only make things worse and make you depressed as well. Time with family and friends may take the pressure off that you are feeling.
A woman's perspective of herself during crisis may not be accurate. Most woman tend to be hard on themselves and see themselves in a different light than they really are. Gently remind her about the things that make her special to you
To sum up be aware of any behavioral changes in your significant other. You are the expert on this person and you know thte signs. Do not force them into doing things or it will cause great resentment. Just lay the options on the table. Be patient with your lady. A little understanding will go a long way.