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How To Stop Being Disappointed In Life

Updated on April 2, 2018
Sudip Choudhury profile image

Sudip finds the cause of all of his problems using Self Inquiry. And he uses Neuro Linguistic Programming to solve these problems.

Expectation is the root cause of every suffering. Most people blame the world for their sufferings. But, the world is as it should be. Human beings create the entire game in their mind. They create expectations that lead to disappointment.

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Expectation Versus Disappointment

Expectations mean you want the future to be according to your desires. The world cannot run based on your desires. Supposedly only a few people existed in this world, it could be possible. But if this world runs according to the desires of billions of people, it will collapse in a moment. Arrangement and balance of this world will break down. Existence cannot run according to your personal desires. The Infinite cannot follow a finite part of it. And we are similar to a wave in this vast ocean. If a wave wants the ocean to run according to it, how is that possible?

You are expecting the impossible to happen. However, the wave can run according to the ocean and there will be no disappointment. But, if the wave wants to do so, first it has to dispose of all its hopes.

When you sow the seeds of expectations, you will reap disappointment. You desire success, and along with it you open the possibility of failure. Everyone must understand this equation. It is the key to tranquility in life. If you want to win, stop expecting it, then no one can defeat you. If you want to be peaceful in life, then don’t ever think of it, and peace will follow you.

Role Of Ego In Dissapointment

How can anybody defeat someone who is already defeated? And one, who accepts his defeat against the existence, always wins. Everything depends on you. If you cooperate with the arrangement and laws of the existence, you will face victory everywhere. But it happens to those who have the courage to sacrifice their ego in front of the existence.

On the other hand, if you expect your ego to win, then you will face disappointment in the exact proportion of your expectations. All the failures, pains, and difficulties in this life are attracted by your ego. Ego is a deception. We are not separate from this existence. Then, why should we have separate desires and expectations?

Let’s say a leaf has different expectations than the tree. Then it will face difficulties. When the tree dances along with the wind, the leaf wants to rest and when the tree stands still, the leaf wants to dance. It will never find itself in sync with the tree. If the tree starts to dance, how can the leaf resist itself and when the tree is not moving, how can the leaf dance on its own. Every moment, the leaf will face disappointment. The leaf will think that the entire universe is conspiring against it.

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How To End Suffering

You are your own friend and your own enemy. If you dispose of your ego, then you are your best friend and on the other hand, if you raise your ego, then you are your own enemy. Don’t blame the world; the real culprit is your mind. But nobody wants to blame the mind. We always try to blame others for our disappointments. To resist all disappointments, we will need to understand the mind.

The web of all the desires and the expectations originate from the mind. And then we try to catch them, but we fail miserably as these are just illusions. Even if we fulfill the desires, the mind keeps on creating further. And we keep on running after them.

When you become aware of your mind, you realize the game it is playing. The mind is similar to a projector and our expectations are only the screen. We become entangled in the web of our own expectations.

You might think that if we stop expecting, then there will be no goals to live for. But it is not true. Not having expectations does not mean that we will stop working. On the contrary, it means that we are not working to achieve something; we will act just to express ourselves. Our actions will start having value. Ultimately, if we cannot achieve the results we desire, we won’t be disappointed as we never had any expectations from the work.

© 2018 Sudip Choudhury

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