- Men's Health & Wellness
How to Overcome Your Nice Guy Syndrome
The phrase "nice guys finish last" is a very true statement. Many societies today have indoctrinated a great many of boys into believing that they must be nice guys instead of men.This demasculinization of the male gender has been going on for decades now.
There is a great difference in being a nice guy and being a man and the major difference is being able to assert oneself. Nice guys have it within them this idea and this strong desire to please everyone around them.
They have this "want to be liked by everyone they meet" as well as "seen in a good light by everyone" mentality, even by people they do not know. It is this need to be liked by everyone that makes the nice guy very much a beta male.
A man is very much on the opposite spectrum. A man takes charge of his life and his actions. However, where the man and the nice guy differ greatly is in the man's ability to assert himself.
If the man doesn't feel like doing something he doesn't want to do then he won't do it. If he isn't liked by others or the world it will not get to him. The man takes solace and comfort in being who he is and doesn't need the approval of the world.
This is perhaps the single greatest difference between the two. So you may be wondering if it is possible to get over the Nice Guy Syndrome?
And the answer is yes.
Being a nice guy is not akin to being a good man and this is something that far too many people seem to not be able to distinguish between.
Nice guys are not only people pleaser and beta males, and this is not a diatribe against them although it does sound like it, it is an objective observation, they are also very manipulative.
They do what is nice so that they can be rewarded with praise and adulation. A good man does what he does because he feels like doing it. A good man will save a life and not look for a reward. Why, because he understands his lot in life.
This is not an over-exaggeration of the Man but is a true depiction of what a Man is and what a nice guy can aspire to be.
The transformation into becoming a Man and overcoming the Nice Guy within you starts with one thing; honesty.
It is so important that you learn to be honest with yourself. This is the most crucial and the most important aspect in transforming into a Man. A Nice Guy, as mentioned before, is very much a liar to not only the world but to himself.
Take ownage of your weakness and stop making excuses. Take ownage of your past and stop trying to recreate it. Take ownage of failures and mistakes and learn from them.
Men learn from their mistakes they do not try and hide them or erase them.
The path to becoming a Man will not be easy, especially if you have been a Nice Guy your whole life. But as Laozi once said, "the journey of a thousand miles begins with one step."
Start asserting yourself as much as you can and start being honest with yourself. Small steps will lead to monumental journeys.
© 2017 Xavier