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How To Prevent Self Sabotage

Updated on August 16, 2013
One of many rewards that can be had with great effort and avoidance of self sabotage.
One of many rewards that can be had with great effort and avoidance of self sabotage. | Source

© 2013 Express10

No matter what stage of life you are currently in, it's safe to say that you have goals no matter what they may be. A lot of people have goals such as saving money, losing weight, rebuilding a relationship, or doing a random act of kindness. However, it's not uncommon to run into problems and give up or seriously alter some goals. Others lower their standards to something easily obtainable without taking a closer look at the reason they did not reach their original goal. This is not to say that plans cannot change, but when you take the time to create a goal and it must be changed substantially, make sure that you understand the reasons why and that those reasons are completely out of your control.

1. Always set goals with an action plan. When you set a goal and do not have a plan of action, the goal is is more like a dream or fantasy. A solid goal includes utilizing the correct road map. It is best to write your goals and your personal road map down on paper. Reaching goals often becomes problematic when all of the required steps have not been taken into account.

If this happens, success will often be delayed or made impossible. By correctly gauging your skills and the steps involved, you will decrease the odds of missing out on golden or fleeting opportunities and decrease the odds of self sabotage at this critical stage. If your skills are not up to snuff, decide if your skills are important to reaching your goal or if the required skill(s) can be hired or bartered. Also, do not be afraid to delegate where appropriate and needed. No one reaches their goals without assistance in some form from others.

Stop Self Sabotage - Randy Gage

2. Discuss your goals with one or two people that you trust so that you can be held accountable externally. This is a very difficult step for many because we often don't like to hear the truth about us when it is not glowing. Having someone even imply or say that you have not done what you have declared as important does not feel good.

Knowing that you will be held accountable or at the very least questioned about your progress is the reasoning in using this step as a deterrent of self sabotage. If you don't wish the trusted person(s) to discuss your goals with others, just let them know upfront that your goals should only be discussed between you two. It is very important that you choose someone who is able to speak honestly with you about personal matters and keep their word.

3. If you find yourself faltering, ask yourself why and do not relent until you find the answer. Procrastination, over-scheduling, and allowing life's surprises to distract you until the opportunity to reach a particular goals have passed are all different examples of self-sabotage. As you can see it can be exhibited in many forms and these are just three. If your goal is truly important to you and you have determined it is attainable, you should be able to reach that goal.

If you consistently have problems reaching your goals, the problem most likely lies within you. Are you afraid of success? Are you afraid that if you lose weight, or become rich that you'll lose friends? Does the thought of leaving a negative or abusive relationship frighten you so much that you'd rather hold onto the devil you know? Whatever your goal may be, you have not come this far in life to ruin your goals. You are worth it, find out what is going on within you. Deal with it in a positive way and continue to move forward.

5. Do the work required, work your plan of action until you succeed. If there are errors in your plan of action, they will most likely rear their ugly heads early on. By focusing on why your goals are important to you and the benefits of reaching your goals, you are providing yourself with motivation to succeed and complete the steps that you laid out for yourself.

© 2012 Express10

Fear of Failure - Randy Gage

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    • Express10 profile image
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      H C Palting 4 years ago from East Coast

      Thanks ToKnowInfo. I've found that some of the simplest and most motivating ways to prevent sabotaging yourself is to find someone such as a mentor or close friend that understands you and share your goal(s) with them. They are likely to ask you how things are going, not to be nosy but to see if you're accomplishing the things you said you wanted to accomplish.

    • toknowinfo profile image

      toknowinfo 4 years ago

      Well done and easy to read that offers some great tips. Your plain and simple advice is useful for all who read your hub.

    • gmwilliams profile image

      Grace Marguerite Williams 5 years ago from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York

      To Express10: Yes indeed. I have hubs addressing this very issue. Many people are quite envious of successful people but the former are too negative minded to ever change their lives. Instead of blaming themselves, they castigate those who are successful, subconsiously wishing it was them!

    • Express10 profile image
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      H C Palting 5 years ago from East Coast

      Thank you so much. Wanting and doing are two completely different things and even worse, there are some people who sit on the sideline complaining about those that actually do what's required.

    • gmwilliams profile image

      Grace Marguerite Williams 5 years ago from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York

      This is excellent. You have elucidated important steps quite succinctly. Many people purport to wanting to be successful; however, they are quite unwilling to do the things that are prerequisite to being successful. Great hub!

    • Express10 profile image
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      H C Palting 5 years ago from East Coast

      Thank you Billybuc. For me a good motivator is planning and then discussing the goal with at least one or two trusted people. I don't even have to go into great detail or give out trade secrets. Just knowing I will be asked about my progress will light a fire to the arse!

    • billybuc profile image

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Excellent points! I love your outlook on life and your insights! Keep writing your truth and I will keep following along on your journey!

    • vespawoolf profile image

      vespawoolf 5 years ago from Peru, South America

      These are great points for reaching goals. We need to have a solid plan of action, talk about it and be flexible so we can forge ahead despite road blocks. Thank you!

    • Express10 profile image
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      H C Palting 5 years ago from East Coast

      Thanks Rusticliving.

    • Express10 profile image
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      H C Palting 5 years ago from East Coast

      Thanks Tammy. I could not be a life coach because I'm still learning.

    • Rusticliving profile image

      Elizabeth Rayen 5 years ago from California

      I love your execution and motivation! Voted up. Awesome!

      Lisa

    • tammyswallow profile image

      Tammy 5 years ago from North Carolina

      Great advice. You would make a great life coach! Very helpful information.

    • Express10 profile image
      Author

      H C Palting 5 years ago from East Coast

      Thanks Frank. The steps are simple enough, putting them into action can be a challenge at times.

    • Frank Atanacio profile image

      Frank Atanacio 5 years ago from Shelton

      a very useful hub.. and you put it together just right and easy to understand and follow up and useful :) Frank