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How to Raise a Perfect Inner Child

Updated on April 25, 2018
Ericdierker profile image

I like to come at things from a different angle. Usually if we take some words and apply them to ourselves we can then apply to the world.

A Great Happiness in the Child

How did he do that?
How did he do that? | Source

Take a Look at Yourself

Really. Many of us have children that we either raise well or not or maybe we are just neutral in that regard. But hold on here folks. You had better raise yourself first. Akin to learning how to love yourself before you can truly love others. And note that the word raise is quite special. Like raise you up! Now don’t even go to raisin as my son is fun to point out that I am brown and wrinkled like a raisin. How rude.

Check out two cool common notions of “raise”. Lift or move to a higher position or level.

Increase the amount, level, or strength of.

Aren’t those cool? What would happen if we could raise our childlike view of the world to a higher strength, to a higher position in our lives? Do not worry being more childlike does not mean we stick our heads in the sand or practice impractical behaviors. As the body has many parts that work together so do our minds and souls. And think of a family with 1.5 children (I hope that is just a statistic and that there are not ½ children running around ;-) They are one body. The child is at an elevated position in most cultures and healthy families. I mean who you going to elevate, yourself?

So let us tuck “raise up” into our back pocket and come back to it.

We cannot mature into an adult until we have been a child. That is just a natural fact. Children who spend a majority of their childhood in a mature parenting role need counseling. That is just another natural fact. And that counseling if worthy will work on that inner child and raise it up. Don’t look to me for an example. I work daily on suppressing my inner child because it is a spoiled brat that demands it’s way in everything. Youngest of six in a super duper loving family. If I was more loved as a child I would have exploded. And then I have helped raise 8 children in different stages for all of them, and they have taught me so much about being a child. Probably one drawback in my raising; I never quite grasped that foreign notion of responsibility. I don’t worry there is time enough for that.

As I took my 200 yard walk just now it hit me that in my life something was a bit strange. At about six I did not want to grow up. And the same until, well until I grew up. Childhood is awesome.

Just a Great Song.

Rock On Children

What could be better?
What could be better? | Source

What Does It Mean

What the heck is an inner child? Yes yes yes it is a pop culture pseudo psychological label stemming from that strange duck Carl Gustav Jung. Strange in life but completely brilliant in ideas of human thought. Truly the father of modern psychology/psychiatry. (just as an aside for writers and philosophers; he is the one who figured that certain words carry triggers for certain people as a matter of conscious and subconscious thought. So when you say Trump in a sentence it will get that kind of reaction) But remember this is about the inner child. So take that notion and apply it to you. “Cooked vegetables” gets a negative reaction from my eight year old. Ice cream gets a positive. Don’t worry we both love fresh veggies of all kinds. So let us call the “inner child” a skeleton. It is up to your adult mind to fill in the flesh and bones and the heart and soul of that skeleton. No way can our perceptions of today be the same as they were when we were five, a lot has changed.

So this work into this area has to do with you. You really can rewrite you script at any time you choose. Think of the cancer patient who takes on life with more vigor and excitement. Compare that to the morose depressed cancer patient. I had a great childhood and remain a jerk, you are kind and caring and had a terrible childhood. What we choose now is often the result of how we frame our child within and from the past. Isn’t it awesome to consider that we can be basically happy or sad.

There is a fellow who is very very close to me who has Bi-Polar disorder (or disease I suppose) He has the symptoms of inability to motivate, concentrate and basically get things done. On the manic side he is a whirling devil of a fellow. He treats it and does just fine but the disease is still there. But he does a strange thing. When he just cannot get out of PJs and chair he goes with it. The dude does not suffer. He used to fret and worry and feel worthless. But then he got over it. It is what it is and he no longer suffers from the problem. In fact he is a danged fine writer.

Oh Yes Baby!

Who Is The Child?

Through the Eyes....
Through the Eyes.... | Source

Happy Days

So once again the long way around to get to the good stuff. Is it wrong to dork around? Is it wrong to just kick it with your pards or BFFs? One could venture that we think it is. It is not productive and responsible to all the “things” that must be done. One of my favorite self-absorption things to do is meditate. On first blush it does nobody no good. But I do not think you could find a learned person on the planet who would actually say it is not really good for you. I like Christians who meditate on “The Word”. Of course Native American style is awesome. And we all know the iconoclastic Buddha picture in full Lotus.

Meditation is unproductive time that makes us more agreeable to live with, heightens our senses, improves our oxygen intake and is a huge boost to thought process and productivity. (don’t do like me and stay in la la land all day ;-) So in fact that time spent is super duper productive.

One of my finest meditations and being mindful is soccer with my young one. Concentrating on playing with my son is like the concentrating on your breathing for meditation.

Playing around in the woods is another of my favorite “unproductive” deals. “Road Trip” anyone? We also play a lot of games on our serious mom/spouse. How the heck can kick ball and hide and seek be fun for a 60 year old. How about painting and crafts. I am horrible at them, so the pressure is off and the fun is on. I really like story time. I seek out oldsters and make them tell me stories. Ms. Wendall 89 next door is great.

Are you getting the inner child gig here? Really you can go to a marvelous therapist and a great psychiatrist for medicine to get in touch with your inner child. But I am cheap, I want a self-help, “how to” YouTube clip. Well not that far. I would go for best fart noise sound judged by how much you make the other laugh.

Through a lot of research we found this It is an unassailable truth, not just a theory. The very best way to get in touch or back in touch with your inner child is to become one. Just a few minutes a day at first and be careful it can be addictive.

Once you let loose of how important you are an adult and just have fun, well that child is waiting for you like a mom with open arms. You never lost him, you just forgot how to play with him.


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    • Ericdierker profile imageAUTHOR

      Eric Dierker 

      8 months ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      TSAD thank you for coming and joining us here. I truly respect your intellect and insights.

      Are we clear here that I was not speaking of a child under mature parenting but rather one who had to maturely parent a parent?

      Now back in my dad's day he got what was called "Certified in Neurology and Psychiatry". It was a fledgling time for acceptance of Psychiatry. (of course there were Freud and Jung but that was to premature)

      Something tells me that insurance would not pay for a worthless endeavor. But for sure, just like chemotherapy in doesn't work a lot of the time.

      Just as an aside. Before 4 I believed wholeheartedly in Jesus. I just never thought that He did not have my back here and after my physical death. I wonder how much impact that had.

    • Ericdierker profile imageAUTHOR

      Eric Dierker 

      8 months ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Thank you Lawrence. I think that maybe I am a little too far over to the Pollyanna side of life. I just think my life is fantastic and problems are just challenges. Sometimes it is difficult to provide my son with alone time fun. I actually started working at 10. Mowing lawns, paper route and shoveling out stables. My chest was so puffed it hurt?

    • tsadjatko profile image

      8 months ago from now on

      Eric, I know a few people who need to grow up their inner child, not raise him up. But you are right, being in touch with our innocence does keep life in perspective and thank you for reminding us of that.

      I understand why you would say, "Children who spend a majority of their childhood in a mature parenting role need counseling." However "That is just another natural fact." is painting with a broad brush, wouldn't you say?

      As I have known such who are more in touch with their inner child because of parenting as a child. And I have known people who are harmed more by counseling than they are helped. After all psychiatry is not a medical science. Some would say psychiatry is not a medical science but quackery, a pseudo-science which lacks independent diagnostic tests, testable hypotheses, and cures for "schizophrenia" and all other types of alleged "mental illness" or "mental disorder" and that really is what is "just another natural fact."

    • lawrence01 profile image

      Lawrence Hebb 

      8 months ago from Hamilton, New Zealand


      As usual, after reading one of your hubs I've got so much I want to say, and so little time to write my thoughts! (The curse of trying to do this 'at work' with small breaks!)

      As I was reading it, I was thinking that back in history we didn't have the 'divides' we have today. A child was a child until they started working, but even then, they'd still be being taught their jobs.

      I think in this modern world, in dividing the two, we've lost something, we've lost the ability to be both adults and kids at the same time.

    • Ericdierker profile imageAUTHOR

      Eric Dierker 

      8 months ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Thank you Dianna. Sometime back I started meditating again. I was so type A that I had trouble with it as not getting something done. Now I try to get work done so I can meditate again. It totally changed and helped my relationships.

    • teaches12345 profile image

      Dianna Mendez 

      8 months ago

      Your definition of meditation is a fun twist on the truth, "Meditation is unproductive time that makes us more agreeable to live with,...". I'll have to remember that for those times people ask what it is. Your words are encouraging, Eric.

    • Ericdierker profile imageAUTHOR

      Eric Dierker 

      8 months ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Rodric, I just cannot remember the High School I played ball against in the '70's. It is bothering me I am sure it was in Peoria.

      Your comment is great. You are in the S###. If you can realize it and step aside like you have you are destined for greatness. I will come over and follow you.

    • Rodric29 profile image

      Rodric Anthony Johnson 

      8 months ago from Peoria, Arizona

      This helped me. I am going through a very critical moment in my life. Medication is not helping. It just becomes me praying/complaining about my issues. I need to refocus on enjoying the moment and accepting the situations I cannot change. Thanks for this.

    • Ericdierker profile imageAUTHOR

      Eric Dierker 

      8 months ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Thanks Bill us folks with arrested development in the painting arts need to stick together as we get scoffed at.

      At least we can paint a picture or two with our words.

    • lifegate profile image

      William Kovacic 

      8 months ago from Pleasant Gap, PA

      Well, Mr. Raisin, you can't get much more practical than that. Good thoughts and easy to understand. Just so you don't feel alone, I can't paint either! Have a great week, my friend.

    • Ericdierker profile imageAUTHOR

      Eric Dierker 

      8 months ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Thank you Nikki. Those children are all related to the boy in front, mine. During that weekend we had a fun night with 21 in our home. It was so much fun. The grandparents, uncles and parents all had a stint where their homes were at best two rooms with flooring. Life is good!

    • Ericdierker profile imageAUTHOR

      Eric Dierker 

      8 months ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Brian, an interesting lady that Cameron is. I will review it. I have trouble remembering what I ate for breakfast much less something I read twenty or so years ago ;-)

      My mantra is self indulged. "Thank you Lord Jesus" Actually to rhythm close to Om Shivaya. But my daily is just after reading scripture with a four part pranayama mainly Ocean Breath. Oops, enough of that.

    • nikkikhan10 profile image

      Nikki Khan 

      8 months ago from London

      Some great tips Eric, it’s true we’ve forgotten how to play with them.We need to grow up first to get the best out of our children.I loved the picture of all five kids, so cute they are, bless them all.It seems you’ve got some great company to have fun with. ;)

      Bless you and your whole family!

    • B. Leekley profile image

      Brian Leekley 

      8 months ago from Kalamazoo, Michigan, USA

      Good advice, Eric. Compare Julia Cameron's "artist date".

      Re Christian meditation, when I experimented with using the Christian mantra "maranatha", it worked as well as my usual Transcendental Meditation mantra.

    • Ericdierker profile imageAUTHOR

      Eric Dierker 

      9 months ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      CrisSP it was great to see your hub and know you are doing well.

      My grandpa got all silly when he shoveled the manure onto his garden. A very serious man. But he just could not help but lighten up when fertilizing his crop. Made me want to and got me to join in the fun at about 6. He had more fun digging around for worms and grubs than he did fishing. So I learned early, to like what you like even if others call it work.

      Thank you for coming by.

    • CrisSp profile image


      9 months ago from Sky Is The Limit Adventure

      Lots of values to ponder on this sermon. My super busy life made me somehow forget about the beauty of keeping my inner child but I'm sure (and as you said), like a mom with open is there, waiting.

      I think it's also time to learn to let loose. Why, 'am I ever so serious in life? :) For now, the only thing that keeps me sane, is flying. Yup, there...up in the sky is my refuge. So, love from the sky to you.

      Great read!

    • Ericdierker profile imageAUTHOR

      Eric Dierker 

      9 months ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Wow, that is kind of weird. The conquering French King made English king. Charles emanating from French/Franks Charlemagne. And Arthur via a Roman/Italian clan.

      Go figure.

      That is one heck of a moniker.

    • abwilliams profile image

      A B Williams 

      9 months ago from Central Florida

      Eric -

      Did you hear that the newest little Prince of England has been named after the pride of New Orleans, LA?

      Yep, they went with Louis! ;-)

    • Ericdierker profile imageAUTHOR

      Eric Dierker 

      9 months ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Hari, your note reminded me of an observation I made a while back. "Grumpy old men" never play. Happy old men play. I don't know which causes which. Is he grumpy because he does not play or is he grumpy so he does not play.

      A short note: I really like your poetry. I look forward to reading those I missed.

    • Ericdierker profile imageAUTHOR

      Eric Dierker 

      9 months ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Dora thank you. The ideas are something to ponder in almost every facet of our lives.

    • shprd74 profile image

      Hari Prasad S 

      9 months ago from Bangalore

      Very nice. A great write for sure.

      The best advice is to be child like. Because children are always attentive, recipient, active, happy, innocent and hence lovely.

      So, adults let us conciously windup our deformed growth.:-)

      - hari

    • CaribTales profile image

      Dora Weithers 

      9 months ago from The Caribbean

      "We cannot mature into an adult until we have been a child." We need to accept that. As usual, you give us plenty to ponder.

    • Ericdierker profile imageAUTHOR

      Eric Dierker 

      9 months ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      So true Bill. Personal peace is love of oneself. I use self here for it encompasses all the parts of our existence. Thanks for checking in.

    • Ericdierker profile imageAUTHOR

      Eric Dierker 

      9 months ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Manatita I am sure you will recognize this "One word that wakes all humanity: Love, love, love!" Our inner child is perhaps simply a contact with our soul. For me love is part of worrylessness, healthy inner children do not worry. Nervous maybe, maybe shy, maybe good or bad, which is only an illusion, but not worried. And therefor at peace which is truly evidence of love.

      My wife who is not pictured here is almost two decades younger. But she looks four. At around 30 she had to change some looks about her. She looked so young that in her work people thought that she was only a child. People think I am grandpa to our child, and they think she is an older sister.

    • billybuc profile image

      Bill Holland 

      9 months ago from Olympia, WA

      This really is our main job as a parent,isn't it? To raise a child who is at peace with himself....all things through love!!! Beautiful read!

    • manatita44 profile image


      9 months ago from london

      Part 2.

      Nice! Now I'm finished. I like your take on Meditation and our brother servant Louis shines as ever. God continue to bless his Life of soulfullness.

      I,m always tempted to ask you about this beautiful woman. She looks so young! Your wife, I believe.

      Finally, the Heart is the Shrine and the soul is the deity within the shrine, the inner child. Still, all the God- Souls ask us to be childlike... not childish. Ha ha. PEACE, my brother. An excellent Hub!

    • manatita44 profile image


      9 months ago from london

      First, it always touches me when I hear you take this cancer thing so well. As you rightly state, not all can.

      I like your use of Consciousness ... vibrations ... energy... we use different ways of course, but when you talk about 'ice cream' 'Trump', 'cooked vegetables' ... the effect of words, this is what you are doing.

      Brilliant work so far! Now let me continue ...

    • Ericdierker profile imageAUTHOR

      Eric Dierker 

      9 months ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Marlene our human condition is most impressive as it adapts to seeming hardship and health conditions. It seems that, dancing and art and music and water really can change us. I think because they are fun.

    • Ericdierker profile imageAUTHOR

      Eric Dierker 

      9 months ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Mary "you act like a child" was scolded at me which made think to write this one. I think she was irritated when I said "thanks" and got back to playing in the backyard. I made my son help me with the chore being demanded. It is all good!

    • Ericdierker profile imageAUTHOR

      Eric Dierker 

      9 months ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Thank you for coming by Frank. I haven't decided if I am on my fourth childhood or just one continuous one. I have it in my brain that I can grow yet not change. Of course lately I have been shrinking ;-)

    • Ericdierker profile imageAUTHOR

      Eric Dierker 

      9 months ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Linda you hit the nail on the head for you. Your passion for all things the kitchen and food shines through. You give away that sometimes you just go a little nuts in your "playground". I should of mentioned food and our inner child.

    • Ericdierker profile imageAUTHOR

      Eric Dierker 

      9 months ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      A B I would say you are high spirited. Great hubs on politics. And great follow ups. It is a pleasure to have you come by and comment. Thank you.

    • MarleneB profile image

      Marlene Bertrand 

      9 months ago from USA

      I agree with you wholeheartedly. Barring clinical conditions, I do believe people have a choice of whether they are going to be happy or sad. It is easier to choose happiness. Being like a child is quite exhilarating.

    • aesta1 profile image

      Mary Norton 

      9 months ago from Ontario, Canada

      You are right. I remember those days when I was a child just like the grandkids and we had so much fun. Being one is the best way.

    • Frank Atanacio profile image

      Frank Atanacio 

      9 months ago from Shelton

      so much happiness we could all enjoy if we were just nudged into our second childhood Eric, I believe.. life gets in the way but if we make an effort we can do it.. I enjoy your hubs and I am a big fan!!!

    • Carb Diva profile image

      Linda Lum 

      9 months ago from Washington State, USA

      What a wonderful world this would be if we all rediscovered the child in us. At some point in time, we forget how to "play". We concentrate so much of our lives on doing for a purpose. I would like to think that even Jesus took the time to simply have fun once in a while. If not, why did God the Father give us a sense of humor?

    • abwilliams profile image

      A B Williams 

      9 months ago from Central Florida

      Awww, 'What a Wonderful World' and Louis Armstrong...does it get any better than that?

      Thanks Eric, I thoroughly enjoyed this!

      My inner child is high-spirited and I wouldn't want it any other way.


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