How To Say Goodbye Without Ever Saying Hello-Part 2
My 16 year old married(yes she was married and had a 2 year old child)friend came by our house because my car was still there. When she walked into the house, I was curled up in a ball. and crying.
I told her that this was not the way it usually happened and I needed to go to the ER of the base hospital. She didn't know how to drive a stick shift so we traveled to the hospital in third gear all the way.
She and I were playfully having a contest to see who would get pregnant first. They ran a test to determine if I was pregnant. When the doctor came in, he said, "You are pregnant but you are having a miscarriage".
The reality of those words kept resounding in my brain. I was finally pregnant but I was loosing a child that my husband and I had created. This was a baby to me! The doctor informed me that I was "only" 8 weeks pregnant. I'm sorry- you can not be a "little" pregnant. You either or not.
My baby had eyelids, lips, a heart, back and she is making twitching movements that cannot be felt. Her brains cells were multiplying at a rate of 100 times a minute. To me, she was alive.
I was in shock! What do I do next? The doctor informed me that they were going to do some more testing to determine how far along was my pregnancy .
I had to call American Red Cross to see if they could get a message to my husband so he could be with me. I can still remember those words "Honey, were pregnant but I am losing it"
The doctors continued to test me but they could not find it. So they did a D&C on me which is an abortion. I hate that term! I WAS NOT having an ABORTION but the medical terms mean nothing.