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How To Say Goodbye Without Ever Saying Hello-Part 3

Updated on April 15, 2013

I left the hospital and my husband recommended that I not go home-to say with a friend's family. I did not know these people but I was in a state of shock that I agreed.

While I was recuperating, my father-in-law called me to check on me. We lived in TX and they were in FL. When I replied that I was teary and upset, he said a phrase that will haunt me to my dying day. He said, "I don't know why you are so upset-it was just a bunch of cells"

I was floored!!!

"Just a bunch of cells"? This was to be their first grandchild!

I told him that I had to go and started on a new crying binge.

When my husband called that night(he was still trying to get leave),I told him what his father had said. And he agreed!!!

Was I in Oz or some other make believe world? How could he agree? This was our CHILD.

My husband finally got home after flying from CA to TX. in sandy and dirty BDU's. He called me to come pick him up. I was surprised when he greeted me, there was no "I'm sorry" or "Can I do anything?". Instead I get greeted with, "This is a new recruit. I met him on the plane and told him that you would give him a ride to the base."

Needless to say, I knew this marriage was over.

About 2 weeks later, after settling back into our routine of marriage, I rose from the bed and quickly fainted. We were concerned but I had no more complications. I told him that I would go to our TMC(troop medical clinic-its like a walk in clinic)They took my history and when I told them that I was post miscarriage, they ran another pregnancy test. I assured them that I was not pregnant but they did one for safety's sake.

When the results came back, they showed me the results. The test strip would not change colors if I was pregnant but if I was it would be a light blue.


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