How To Stop Taking Life So Seriously When Everyone Else Is Goofing Off
Did You Somehow Miss The Boat? Why Does It Seem Like Everyone Else Is On Vacation Except For You?
What's Going On With My Life? Why Can't I Be In Control?
- There are many things that stress us out in life. Work, family, money are the biggest stresses in our lives.
- Life can be even more frustrating when the people around you don't seem to take things seriously, especially when something is important to you.
- While you are working hard trying your best, everyone else around you seems to be laid back and having a great time.
- All the while you are getting stressed out and you are ready to explode!
Does this sound like you and your current situation?
Many people are going through the same thing and you are not ALONE.
Research has found that everybody faces stressful periods in their life... ~ (Duh!)
It is how we deal with the stresses and how we recognize solutions to our problems that will allow us to be healthy in mind, spirit, soul and body.
What Kinds Of Stress Are There?
There Are Different Types of Stress
Although the (American Psychological Association) defines several APAtypes of stress, there are 2 generally recognized forms of stress. One is "Good" stress and the other is the type of stress that makes us want to pull our hair out of our heads:
A). Eustress- stress that is deemed healthful or giving one the feeling of fulfillment (Etymology: from Greek eu 'well, good' + stress)
(American Psychological Association (APA):
eustress. (n.d.). Dictionary.com's 21st Century Lexicon. Retrieved October 14, 2013, from Dictionary.com website: http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/eustress)
1. great pain, anxiety, or sorrow; acute physical or mental suffering; affliction; trouble.
2. a state of extreme necessity or misfortune.
3. the state of a ship or airplane requiring immediate assistance, as when on fire in transit.
4. that which causes pain, suffering, trouble, danger, etc.
5. liability or exposure to pain, suffering, trouble, etc.; danger: a damsel in distress.
(American Psychological Association (APA):
distress. (n.d.). Dictionary.com Unabridged. Retrieved October 14, 2013, from Dictionary.com website: http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/distress)
Examples of Each Stressor:
- An Alarm Clock going off and waking you up to go to work is a Eustress. It is a stress that is positive because it is alerting you that you need to get up and get something done (i.e. Shower, Go To Work, etc.) Technically, this situation could become a Distress if the alarm goes off at the wrong time or wrong day.
- A Fire Alarm goes off at 3 in the morning. This is a Distress because it is not part of your regular routine and suggests that there is a problem that you weren't prepared or waiting for. With this example, you will start to show symptoms of distress including fear, adrenaline stimulation, rapid heart beat, disorientation, etc.
Let's look at what stresses us out from day to day:
1. My Family Doesn't Do Anything To Help Me At Home! Am I The Only One Who Lives Here? Hello? Is Anyone Home?
Does that sound familiar? Especially for single parents or mothers in general (that may be a stereotype but its most often true!) This can be the number one stress in our life.
The house is a mess, everyone needs to get picked up at the same time and no one but you is available. By the time you get home from picking everyone up from school, daycare, dance, sports, making dinner and trying to clean up around the house, you find yourself exhausted and very cranky!
Still sound like your life? If so, there is hope. There are ways to deal with these stresses and ways to get help from the people around you. We'll get to those later. Let's look at what other stresses we have from day to day living.
Married Life and Children Are Some of the Most Rewarding Parts of Our Lives But Can Also Be The Biggest Stress In Our Daily Lives
Don't Die At Work!
2. My Boss (and/or) Coworkers Don't Do Their Part! Am I The Only One Who Works Here?
Are you the only one at the office who works hard while everyone else is either chatting, playing solitaire, checking their personal email (or most likely Facebook!) and your boss either doesn't notice or care?
Maybe there is a huge project due and your coworker goes home early or doesn't pay attention to the deadline. Maybe they all think that you can take care of it. Either way, do you feel that your work environment is not fair or even worse, caters to the slackers? If so, again, you are not ALONE!
3. Life Is Just Unbearable. I Am Depressed and I Have Been Thinking Bad Thoughts...
If this is you, Seek Help Immediately! Help is out there. If you feel suicidal or homicidal call 911 or the Samaritans. Help is available 24 hours a day and 7 days a week.
There is always a solution to a problem no matter how serious or bad it may be. You have a future and although you may think things will never get better, they will.
Understanding Stress: A Physiological Reality
What Are Your Stress Levels?
How Stressed Out Are You?
10 Tips On How To Say No To People (And Your Kids...)
Saying no is never easy. When a boss, coworker or family member is involved, it becomes even harder to say that two letter word; "NO! I can't do that for you. I am too busy." It is never easy to tell someone that you are too busy for them but it is necessary if you want to keep your sanity.
Here are 10 realistic and true excuses for you to use when you need to say, "No!"
- "I just can't do it this time, sorry..."
- "I'm so busy right now with everything that's going on, can I get back to you later? I'll call you..."
- "I'm sorry, my gas tank is running low and I really don't have the time or money to fill it right now. Can I get back to you soon?"
- "I'd love to stop and chat but I don't want to burn dinner!"
- "I have so much to do for work. I doubt I'll finish it by tomorrow. Oh, I almost forgot the time! I have to go pickup my kids!"
- "I have to finish the laundry. It takes a lot of work to dress a whole team!
- "No, Fast Food is bad for you and I don't have the money right now... Hey, maybe you should apply for a job there! I hear they have an employee discount."
- "If you wanted a license and a car, why didn't you follow my instructions for the last 5 years? No, I can't buy you a car. Ask your father..."
- "I'm your father, and I said NO!"
- Just learn how to say it. It's only 2 letters. N. O. Just say NO!
When Do I Get My Stress Vacation?
More Ways To Reduce Your Stress Levels
Ways To Reduce Your Stress Levels:
There are many methods to reduce stress. Here are just a few:
- Practice Breathing Exercises
- Enroll in Yoga or other alternative stress relieving programs
- Talk to a friend
- Make an appointment and regularly meet with a mental health councilor or advocate
- Take a walk
- Take a nap
- Read a book or magazine
- Take a Time-Out
- Go fishing (works for the author!)
- See a doctor for prescribed medication (this should be a last resort after all other methods fail)
How To Get Others To Help You
The final and most important way to reduce stress in your life is to get others that are directly involved with your stressors to recognize, understand and help to take some of the stress off of you. This is not always easy and sometimes it is hard to ask for help or to call others out when they are slacking. Here are some ideas:
- Talk about the problem and how it effects you. Many times the people around us are so caught up in what they are doing that they don't often realize that you are stressed out. Try to talk with your boss, coworker or life partner and let them know that you are experiencing a lot of stress.
- Ask for help. Sometimes just asking for help can be the solution to your problem. Many people take us for granted and believe that we can continue to produce the same results without blinking. Asking a spouse or coworker for help can open new doors.
- Go to your boss or supervisor. If the stress is at work and others are not doing their part you can talk to your immediate supervisor. If you are not comfortable with that and see no other solution, consider dropping an anonymous note so your boss knows who is not doing their job.
- Create a written plan that outlines other's responsibilities. This is especially effective within a family. Create a chart that shows who is doing what and hold people responsible for their slacking and consider adding new chores or tasks to help relieve your burdens.
- Walk away. When all else fails sometimes you just have to walk away. This is usually the last step if all else fails and it is not an easy one. Walking away from a marriage or job is usually not an option. But if life has you so stressed out that you can no longer function, walking away (even temporarily) can be the only solution you have left to solve your problems. Unfortunately, many people walk away at the beginning without trying any of these steps. This really should only be the solution when there are no other options and you are really ready to loose it.
© 2013 JS Matthew