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How To Tell You Are Too Old And Past Your Sell By Date 10 Signs To Watch Out For!

Updated on July 21, 2013
Well, we can look can't we? flickr
Well, we can look can't we? flickr

Oh those glorious days of youth! When a night out meant slapping on your make up, tonging your hair, and choosing the most sensual of dresses to go out and meet the boys. I remember them well. Strolling in at four in the morning, still looking as good as when you went out, well, nearly! The nights always seemed warm and stars would twinkle in the sky, even the rain held a certain kind of magic.

Then came marriage and children, but you still had that zing baby! You could walk down the road, and know that you can turn heads. Hear a whistle from a workman, I know, not allowed these days! What? Who said it was wrong for a man to whistle at a girl? The girl? No way! We loved it, made our day. And those days went on and on, never changing, knowing that you will always feel beautiful, even if you weren't particularly pretty, it was youth that got you the attention. Then bam! One day the attention stopped. Without realising it, you are suddenly too old and past your sell by date!

No I Am Not Mutton Dressed As Lamb Honest! foodmarathon.wordpress.com
No I Am Not Mutton Dressed As Lamb Honest! foodmarathon.wordpress.com

Now I could get all psychological and say don't be stupid, there's no such thing as too old, but bear with me. There are signs, oh yes! Big ones, that slap you round the face, and say, what you? Still attractive? Yeah right!

Don't get me wrong, you don't go from young and lovely, to old and wrinkly overnight. No, not that easy. The changes are small, and start to seep into your conscious mind when you don't expect them.

So, here are the ten signs on:

How To Tell You Are Too Old And Past Your Sell By Date


Smug cow! sluniverse.com
Smug cow! sluniverse.com

Smug as a Bug!

Number one on the list is mortifying. I am jumping right in here before I start to cry again. Okay, here's the scene. You are walking down the road, humming to yourself and suddenly you see coming towards you in the distance, a gorgeous yummy man. As he gets closer your eyes meet, and you start to swing those hips. Yeah that's right, go for it! As he reaches you, he smiles into your eyes, and you smile back. Then from behind him emerges his girlfriend. You meet eyeball to eyeball. Wait for it, you think, now she is going to glare at you and grab her man.

But she doesn't. Instead, she takes one look at you and smiles, says hello and walks on. Oh dear God! by the look on her face you know you are no longer a rival! So what does she see exactly? Yep, you got it, a mother figure! Or even worse, grandma! Your stomach falls down to your feet and you shuffle home wondering where the vodka is. But you settle for cocoa, may as well get into the granny mode.

Roll out the Barrel!

Number two is more subtle, but that doesn't mean it won't sting! After a heavy day at work, you stumble into the nearest pub and wander over to buy a drink. The bar is full of men, and you know, just know that one of them is going to offer to buy it for you. So you wait. And wait. Eventually you turn around and stare at the guy next to you at the bar.

He smiles. Oh at last, you think and return the smile. Only to be greeted with, 'Hi, you're so and so's mom aren't you? Thought so, would you like a chair? You look tired! You take the chair and sit down. But do things get better? Of course not. He then goes on to talk about how much he fancies the girl behind the bar. You slink to the toilet and head out the back door trying to find the nearest barrel of beer to drown your sorrows.

Quite Sweet Really! maleehas.blogspot.com
Quite Sweet Really! maleehas.blogspot.com

Should I be Fussy?

Numero three, Oh happy days! They say you can tell your age by the people who flirt with you. On entering a certain establishment, yes that pub again, glutton for punishment me, I hear a shuffle behind me, and, turning around there is an old man with a stick, no teeth and a bright red nose, leering at me. And he's breathing down my neck.

After establishing the fact that yes indeedy he was trying to chat me up, at least I think the spit that was flying around as he formed the words, was in fact aimed at me, I smile, grab my bag and head out the door. Okay you might say that I am desperate, but surely you can't believe I am that desperate!

Okay, where did that fat come from? sodahead.com
Okay, where did that fat come from? sodahead.com

Going Ga Ga!

And so we have number four. You get invited to a party. At last! I have been acknowledged as the life and soul of the party! So, heading for the wardrobe, you start throwing all your best little black dresses on the bed. Eventually you find the one that you want to wear. Throwing it over your head you realise that actually you might have put on a few pounds, so struggle with the buttons or zip. You then head for the mirror. Staring back at you is a sack of overripe melons and sprouting potatoes, all squashed up in one bag.

So you breath in. Does it work? No, it just displaces the fat, and you watch in amazed horror as your bum gets bigger, and your waist heads down towards your knees. The clock is ticking, what the hell to do? Eventually you find something that actually fits, even though its boring and old fashioned. So you try to liven it up with jewelry. Then you stand in front of the mirror and sigh with relief. You still got it girl. Or so you think!

Numero Five

There's a knock at the door, and your lift is here. On arriving at the party, you throw your coat at the nearest host and head into the living room singing, 'Ga Ga la la la la Lady Ga Ga' at the top of your voice, only to realise that it is in fact a tupperware party, and the guests are all elderly ladies. They glare at you, sniff and turn away. You slump away and head for the garden, find a pond and dive head first in. The fish are better company.

Oh the shame! blog.personaldefensetechniquesandgear.com
Oh the shame! blog.personaldefensetechniquesandgear.com

Beyonce? More like beyond a joke!

No. six isn't much better! and does it improve? No. Renowned for your dancing techniques, you head for the dance floor. there's nobody else out there dancing yet, but you don't care. you're an animal out there, swinging your arms to Beyonce, twisting and twirling to rap, R n' B, knowing, just knowing that you are sooooo good. You shake your booty, come on guys I am up for some Fuuunnn! Whee!

Then eventually you head towards your table to get a well earned drink only to see a group of young girls giggling like mad as you walk past. But you ignore them thinking they are laughing at each other. Then you catch part of the conversation as you walk past. 'Silly old woman, what on earth was that? Does she think she can still dance? Haaaaaa! Once again mortified. You head for the ladies and stay there until closing time, only coming out when the cleaner arrives. On the way home you get mistaken for a bag lady. Whoopee Da!

This is how old firemen look sometimes! Ah bless! halloweencostumes.com
This is how old firemen look sometimes! Ah bless! halloweencostumes.com

Time to wear a bag over my head!

And if those weren't bad enough here is a very quick selection of How To Tell You Are Too Old And Past Your Sell By Date!

7. Sitting in a restaurant, you catch a glimpse of your mother in the mirror near the door. Wondering what she is doing there, you go to stand up and look, then realise that the woman in the mirror is in fact moving too. it wasn't your mom, it was you!

8. Sorry for the cliche', but every time you see a Fireman, Doctor or Policeman you notice that they in fact look young enough to be your grandchildren!

9. Throwing your clothes onto the bed getting ready to go out, you suddenly realise that the mini dress, stockings and high boots may no longer be appropriate wear! Arggh!

10. And last but not least. You have to grow up! I mean, why can't I chat up that twenty year old any more? Why do I have to behave and give advice when all I want to do is have fun, and most of all, why don't my friends want to PARTY ANY MORE? I don't CARE that they are over fifty!

So, there you are. If you want to know if you are over the hill, just check these out. And when you start to get upset just remember, you are only as old as the man you feel....I mean, you are only as old as you feel! Oooops!



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    • Nell Rose profile image
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      Nell Rose 2 years ago from England

      lol! Hi John! so all bald men are dads too! yes there are so many signs that tell us we are over the hill, I have lost track of most of them! thanks for reading, nell

    • john000 profile image

      John R Wilsdon 2 years ago from Superior, Arizona

      Good laugh from this. Well done. Though I am a bald man (I use a pretty girl for my thumbnail), it reminded me of several things in life that reminded me I was over the hill.

      Once when one of my daughters was about 4 ( I had my kids a bit late), we were waiting in line at a grocery store. My daughter said about the man in front of us, "He is a daddy." I asked, " How do you know?" She said, "He has a skinny head too."

      If you have a skinny head, you may be over the hill too.

    • Nell Rose profile image
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      Nell Rose 3 years ago from England

      Hi Nadine, lol! glad it made you laugh, I can laugh about it now, but honestly when did age catch up? lol! thanks for reading, nell

    • Nadine May profile image

      Nadine May 3 years ago from Cape Town, Western Cape, South Africa

      I'm in bed typing on my table after reading your post i had a great laugh.

    • Nell Rose profile image
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      Nell Rose 3 years ago from England

      Thanks sparkly didn't see ya there! lol! glad you liked it, nell

    • Nell Rose profile image
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      Nell Rose 3 years ago from England

      Hi savvy, LOL! yes I remember the bump! I can imagine your sons face when you started doing that! haha! how funny! thanks for making me laugh!

    • Nell Rose profile image
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      Nell Rose 3 years ago from England

      Hi Rebecca, lol! yes I know what you mean! and police and firemen! thanks for reading, nell

    • savvydating profile image

      Yves 3 years ago

      Well, things may be drooping for us on the outside but there's still some fire left on the inside, especially where you are concerned Nell. Your youthful energy comes through loud and clear. So what if those young girls don't know how to shake their money maker as well as you do. I remember dancing with my son once, and I started doing the bump. I don't know whether the bump was big in England, but it was all the rage about 30 years ago in the U.S. But my son wasn't having it. "Oh no," he said, "NOT THE BUMP!" Hmmph. Kill Joy.

      I loved this hub. I can relate so well. Up & funny.

    • rebeccamealey profile image

      Rebecca Mealey 3 years ago from Northeastern Georgia, USA

      Cute read! I first felt the phenomenon when the doctors and dentists I went to looked so young...it was kind of un-nerving.

    • Nell Rose profile image
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      Nell Rose 3 years ago from England

      Thanks jainismus, glad you liked it! nell

    • Nell Rose profile image
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      Nell Rose 3 years ago from England

      Hi MM, lol! no I won't let them stop me dancing on that floor! I do know what you mean about the guys, yes its the older ones I like now, thank goodness! lol! mind you, sometimes, only sometimes my eyes will stray slightly to the young guys, but of course I can look and not touch, check out the menu but not eat the food! Haha!

    • Nell Rose profile image
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      Nell Rose 3 years ago from England

      Thanks Harish, lol! glad you liked it, we have to keep our sense of humor as we age! nell

    • jainismus profile image

      Mahaveer Sanglikar 3 years ago from Pune, India

      Great fun....

    • sparkleyfinger profile image

      Lynsey Harte 3 years ago from Glasgow

      Great hub, made me chuckle! Hopefully I'm a bit far off my sell by date, but I certainly feel old sometimes! Voted up and funny!

    • Mighty Mom profile image

      Susan Reid 3 years ago from Where Left is Right, CA

      Owww. I don't know what hurts more: laughing my (now ample and sagging) ass off reading this, or the truth behind it.

      Aging is not a graceful process. It is hard to give up those wild girl memories.

      You are so right that it sneaks up on you. But once it's here it's here!

      The one bright spot I can point to in my own life is my eye now goes to guys with gray hair. More age appropriate. The young ones barely register with me anymore.

      Thanks for a fun read, Nell.

      Don't let the giggly brats keep you off the dancefloor!

      MM

    • Harishprasad profile image

      Harish Mamgain 3 years ago from India

      Oh ! Great signs to identify your vigor and charm ! I think it is not meant for womenfolk only. Still, I wonder some so called old buddies, men or women, manage to snare young deers. I admire their guts, art and charm. They defeat all signs and sometimes their pouches are not so heavy too ! There is a ray of hope and why not emulate them....LOL.. Nell, such a great stuff full of mirth and all wittiness ! Loved reading it with all my heart. :-)

    • Nell Rose profile image
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      Nell Rose 3 years ago from England

      Hi Freya, thanks so much, and its great to see you back here, I am glad you found this funny, getting older is a funny thing! lol! take care, nell

    • Freya Cesare profile image

      Freya Cesare 3 years ago from Borneo Island, Indonesia

      Amusing as always, but kind of sad knowing I did experienced few of it. Still, you always able to make me laugh. Thank you, Nell. ^^

    • Nell Rose profile image
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      Nell Rose 4 years ago from England

      Thanks so much DDE, glad you liked it, nell

    • DDE profile image

      Devika Primić 4 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      How To Tell You Are Too Old And Past Your Sell By Date 10 Signs To Watch Out For! an amazingly thought of hub and you just know how to choose the best titles voted up, awesome, useful and interesting.

    • Nell Rose profile image
      Author

      Nell Rose 4 years ago from England

      lol! suzette! that would be the one wouldn't it? thanks as always, nell

    • DreamerMeg profile image

      DreamerMeg 4 years ago from Northern Ireland

      LOL - very funny. Reminds me of my sister, who also writes about this stuff - but not on hubpages. She makes all the rest of the family laugh and it's so true!

    • suzettenaples profile image

      Suzette Walker 4 years ago from Taos, NM

      Don't know how I missed this one, Nell. This is hilarious. Let me add another one: You've taught the child, then you taught his/her child, and now you are teaching the grandchild. Time for retirement! Lol Voted up and shared!

    • Nell Rose profile image
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      Nell Rose 4 years ago from England

      Lol! thanks Sue!

    • Sue Bailey profile image

      Susan Bailey 4 years ago from South Yorkshire, UK

      Definitely over the hill...

    • Nell Rose profile image
      Author

      Nell Rose 4 years ago from England

      Hi Anik, I am sure she doesn't mind! lol! you know what they say, with age comes wisdom, thanks for reading, nell

    • Anik Gypsy profile image

      Anik Gypsy 4 years ago from 129, North Chashara, Narayangang, Dhaka, Bangladesh, 1400

      It's a little harsh I felt sorry for my mom.... :'( she was more prettier than Aishwariya Rai or Selena Gomez when she was young. It makes me sad to think that she's not as young as she used to be.

    • Nell Rose profile image
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      Nell Rose 5 years ago from England

      Hi bac, lol! can't say I have tried that one! thanks again nell

    • bac2basics profile image

      Anne 5 years ago from Spain

      Hi Nell. Oh dear, I know I´m going off´er by the minute. You did miss one out though Nell..you really know you are past it when you can´t even pull at a wedding !!!!uh uh sniff sniff snifff arghhhhhhh :)Great hub Nell.

    • Nell Rose profile image
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      Nell Rose 5 years ago from England

      Hi, Lilleyth, lol! I think I was having one of those days, in fact I got to the stage of thinking that if I don't get noticed soon, I am going to jump on the nearest guy and say, hey, how you doing? haha! glad it made you laugh, thanks!

    • Lilleyth profile image

      Suzanne Sheffield 5 years ago from Mid-Atlantic

      Oh Nell. Oh Nell. Oh Nell. (shaking my head) I laughed until tears ran down my cheeks. Do you recall the first time someone called you "Mam" instead of "Miss"? Whew, I wanted to slap that bag boy silly! Then there was the day that the salesgirl mistook me for my younger (by 10 years) sister's mother. Ugh. But seriously Nell, by the looks of your photo, I'm sure you turn a few heads still.

    • Nell Rose profile image
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      Nell Rose 5 years ago from England

      Hi, shea, Oh dear! lol! out of the mouth of babes etc! well not that young, but still! what would have got to me was the fact that she had said 'your about my mums age so this is what I recommend'! what has age got to do with the computer? did it have a large magnifying glass on the front so you can see the keys? haha! I bet she would be shocked to know that you are much more computer savvy than she is!

    • shea duane profile image

      shea duane 5 years ago from new jersey

      Hi Nell, funny thing happened... I had to buy a new computer and the sales person, probably about 25 or so, said well you're about my mom's age so this is what I recommend... I laughed. I'm proud to be 50, but no one had ever said that to me before. 8-)

    • Nell Rose profile image
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      Nell Rose 5 years ago from England

      Hi, donnaisabella, lol! okay, I have no idea what I wrote about either! haha! thanks for reading, sorry not reading!

    • donnaisabella profile image

      Donaisabella 5 years ago from Fort Myers

      Hey Nell, what are you talking about? I will just lie to myself and say I did not read this. Thanks, you are such a good writer!

    • Nell Rose profile image
      Author

      Nell Rose 5 years ago from England

      Hi, CMHypno, lol! oh dear! it creeps up on you doesn't it? haha! I think we should retrain our brains to think wow look at those thighs! think young and hopefully it will makes us feel young again! thanks for the laugh, cheers nell

    • CMHypno profile image

      CMHypno 5 years ago from Other Side of the Sun

      I think for me the defining moment came when I was watching the rugby one day and instead of thinking 'wow look at those thighs' it was 'doesn't he look like a nice young man'. It takes all the fun out of it! Sighs as she dusts off her zimmer frame LOL!

    • Nell Rose profile image
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      Nell Rose 5 years ago from England

      Hi, debbie, haha! sorry about the laughter lines! thanks so much for reading, cheers nell

    • debbie roberts profile image

      Debbie Roberts 5 years ago from Greece

      Love it!! Sadly I can relate to it too. I've definitely started to notice how young people look, especially in jobs with responsibility.....They can't be old enough!!! Surely?

      Not started to look like my Mother.....Yet!!!

      Your hub has certainly gone towards making my laughter lines more pronounced. Oh well!!

    • Nell Rose profile image
      Author

      Nell Rose 5 years ago from England

      Thanks lyric! I was feeling sorry for myself! haha! glad it made you laugh, thanks as always, nell

    • thelyricwriter profile image

      Richard Ricky Hale 5 years ago from West Virginia

      Nell, what a creative article! I was due for a much needed laugh, A very cool article my friend. Votes up and across.

    • Nell Rose profile image
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      Nell Rose 5 years ago from England

      Thanks Sue!

    • profile image

      Sueswan 5 years ago

      Hi Nell,

      Your humour will never be outdated. ROFL.

      Voted up up and away!

      Take Care

    • Nell Rose profile image
      Author

      Nell Rose 5 years ago from England

      Thanks kittyjj, lol! I am most of the time! it was just this one incident, haha! thanks for reading, cheers nell

    • kittyjj profile image

      Ann Leung 5 years ago from San Jose, California

      You made me laugh! Very funny! I am edging closer to the big 50s. And I know I am no longer any threat to any young ladies. So I am fine if they greet me with a smile. :)

    • Nell Rose profile image
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      Nell Rose 5 years ago from England

      Hi, wonderful1, lol! I love looking too! I remember taking a liking to my sons friend a few years ago, they were about 20, and I thought, ooh! haha!thanks for reading, cheers nell

    • wonderful1 profile image

      Sheila Varga Szabo 5 years ago from Southern California

      Thanks for the warning, Nell, and I'll keep my eyes open to those tell-tale signs, lol. I'm still coping with hearing my 16-year-old tell me about how she plans to "move in with her boyfriend" after high school.

      I find that example (of the little boy in the fireman suit) especially funny! I see cute young things now, and let me tell you, my "unacceptable" list begins with the thought: if he's closer in age to my daughter, then he's too young. But I sure love looking.

      Great hub!

    • Nell Rose profile image
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      Nell Rose 5 years ago from England

      Hi, mljd, exactly! lol! Oh to be young, well at least look young! thanks as always, nell

    • Nell Rose profile image
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      Nell Rose 5 years ago from England

      Hi, Marcy, lol! I know! I used to make fun of people who moaned about being over the hill, now its not so funny! haha! thanks so much nell

    • Nell Rose profile image
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      Nell Rose 5 years ago from England

      Hi, DzyM, so true! lol! I always thought that when you got older you would feel more grown up, strangely enough it hasn't happened to me yet! haha! thanks for the vote, cheers nell

    • Nell Rose profile image
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      Nell Rose 5 years ago from England

      Hi, tammy, yes my perfect age was about 34, so I am staying there! lol! thanks as always, nell

    • Nell Rose profile image
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      Nell Rose 5 years ago from England

      Hi, robie, lol! surely not! I think my sell by date is definitely been put on the shelf to collect dust! thanks so much, nell

    • mljdgulley354 profile image

      mljdgulley354 5 years ago

      This was a funny hub. My grandma lived to be in her 90's and she would say she was only as old as she felt and some days she was older than other days. Today I can appreciate what she said it is so true.

    • Marcy Goodfleisch profile image

      Marcy Goodfleisch 5 years ago from Planet Earth

      This was a great read - I'm still laughing. Laughing so hard it hurts! Wait - that's not the reason . . . the truth hurts! Oh dear.

      Voted up and funny!

    • DzyMsLizzy profile image

      Liz Elias 5 years ago from Oakley, CA

      Hahaha.. very well done, all too true..up to a point.

      My motto is, "Age is a state of mind," so yes, I agree with your closing point..only as old as you feel. Some days, when "Arthur Itis" comes calling, I do indeed feel older than I am. However, I'm a forever fan of the saying I saw once on a T-shirt:

      "Growing old is inevitable; growing UP is optional."

      Cheers...voted up across the board.

    • ArtzGirl profile image

      ArtzGirl 5 years ago from San Diego

      Great humor! I love it! You should turn this into a novel then screenplay! This would be a fabulous story for when the 4 girls in Sex in the City finally GROW UP!!! LOL...

    • tammyswallow profile image

      Tammy 5 years ago from North Carolina

      This is FABULOUS writing! I love your dry sense of humor. I am finally understanding why "old people" complained about their aches and pains. After 35 it is all downhill. I LOVE this!

    • robie2 profile image

      Roberta Kyle 5 years ago from Central New Jersey

      I've been past my " sell by" date for so long I almost enjoy being invisible to men-- now I'm only worried about my expiration date:-) Loved this hub. Thanks for the chuckle.

    • Nell Rose profile image
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      Nell Rose 5 years ago from England

      Thanks so much Deborah, I am fifty two, so I think I beat you to it! haha! seriously, I sometimes wonder whether going out in my old leather jacket and short skirt will get me noticed again, doubt it, but you never know!

    • Deborah Brooks profile image

      Deborah Brooks Langford 5 years ago from Brownsville,TX

      Oh My so funny.. I can relate... I am sharing on Facebook,. with all my friends over 60..LOl

      great hub

      Debbie

    • Nell Rose profile image
      Author

      Nell Rose 5 years ago from England

      Hi, Vinaya, no, surely not! maybe 20! lol! you look young, and of course being a man makes you more distinguished as you get older, so that's great! thanks again, nell

    • Nell Rose profile image
      Author

      Nell Rose 5 years ago from England

      Oh it can Sunshine! haha! I think its just me so don't worry, maybe its because I have an aura about me that says, keep away unless you're worth it! lol! thanks as always, nell

    • Nell Rose profile image
      Author

      Nell Rose 5 years ago from England

      Hi, Thought, pitching woo! haha! Oh that hurt my stomach for laughing so much! its just one of those things, getting older, nobody wants ya, and so on, poor me! haha! thanks for reading, cheers nell

    • Nell Rose profile image
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      Nell Rose 5 years ago from England

      Hi, barbergirl, lol! I definitely scare them away! thanks for reading, nell

    • Vinaya Ghimire profile image

      Vinaya Ghimire 5 years ago from Nepal

      Maybe a little over ten years I will be there.

    • Sunshine625 profile image

      Linda Bilyeu 5 years ago from Orlando, FL

      What a hoot and holler! Past your sell by date! haha! Never happen. Right? It can't. Can it? Uh oh! Oh my.

    • ThoughtSandwiches profile image

      ThoughtSandwiches 5 years ago from Reno, Nevada

      Nell...

      That was Hella sweet!! I launched Mountain Dew out my nose when I read, "...at least I think the spit that was flying around as he formed the words, was in fact aimed at me..." It gave new meaning to "pitching woo".

      Your words...like gravity...are true and sobering. Every one of your examples was funny as hell. Why? Because they're true...

      Thanks!

      Thomas

    • barbergirl28 profile image

      Stacy Harris 5 years ago from Hemet, Ca

      This truly was a hoot and a blast to read. Absolutley loved this... although I have to admit the first thing that came to mind was when I thought about the last time I went out and hit up the dance floor... by myself... because nobody else wanted to dance. I am now left wondering if I scared everybody away. Great hub and thanks for sharing it. Too funny!

    • Nell Rose profile image
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      Nell Rose 5 years ago from England

      Hi, Polly, lol! how did you know?! I am a good, well behaved young lady! well, not so young and not so good! hee hee! thanks again, nell

    • Pollyannalana profile image

      Pollyannalana 5 years ago from US

      Hey Nell I think I saw your number actually go up one when I came in, that is a first! Hope you hit the big one. I was thinking I bet our Rose came in more than once with that shirt inside out and I am howling! Love this!

    • Nell Rose profile image
      Author

      Nell Rose 5 years ago from England

      Hi, Marla, I think I like men from 35 onwards, saying that I saw a really nice guy today, and he gave me a lovely smile! (sigh) think he was about 25! haha!

    • Nell Rose profile image
      Author

      Nell Rose 5 years ago from England

      Hi, Christian, lol! sadly yes! no, seriously, it all depends on the person, good question though! I always thought that getting older would make you like someone your own age, uh uh noooo! mind you thinking it and doing it sadly are two different things! I wouldn't want to do anything to make me look stupid, well, not as stupid as I have in the past! I always liked guys up to fifteen years younger than me, so at least they still can look good, but that's 35 ish, so that's okay! haha! thanks for reading, cheers nell

    • Marla Neogra profile image

      Marla J Neogra 5 years ago from Parkersburg, West Virginia

      Ironically, I never thought I would think 50 was sexy in a million years, but besides Ryan Reynolds being hot I find men my age very attractive as well (most significantly my husband) so maybe some do get stuck in a particular age, but I would say more like a "score" (20 years) span.

    • Christian-Hunter profile image

      Christian Hunter 5 years ago from Austin

      Great article, I appreciated the laughs, lord knows I need them: I just turned 38! That's less than two years from...sheeesh, one birthday between me and 40!

      I never thought much about age until the last few years, as I transitioned from "closer to 20'sh than 40'sh". One reason, to be sure, had to do with the fact that others would chronically over-guess my age: eg. I'm 23 at a club – and we all know the convention that governs drunken conversations with randoms dictate at least some such basic stats be traded – and I'd always get the "ummm...like, 30?" (which at 23 is like a compliment...ugh).

      This was back when I had hair, and an early receding hairline will date a man worse than paunch and polyester. When I shaved my head however, I might have taken off 10 years in appearance also...

      But I digress. The meat of the point I wanted to communicate (and the only understanding that stands between me and that fish-filled pond you described) is the fact that as I age, with each passing year, my preferences seem to be keeping equal pace with me. I never thought I'd find a 30 year old woman attractive; now however, one 30 year old in particular is the sexiest woman in the world.

      That's not to say 20-year-olds are ugly by comparison (only until technology allows us to look any age we choose will looking older become visceral-vogue), of course we'd all prefer a romp with a 20-something vs. a 70-something; but even at 38, the idea of having to wake up next to one (much less try to enjoy life in their firm-but-oft-naive presence) is like...gross!

      Should I be concerned....do preferences get stuck at a particular age?

      Please say "no"?

      Christian Hunter

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      Nell Rose 5 years ago from England

      Thanks thost, lol! I know just what you mean! thanks for reading, cheers nell

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      thost 5 years ago from Dublin, Ireland

      Hi Nell Rose,

      I feel like going on forever, but I’m a bit low on energy...... Oh dear.

      Vote up.

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      Nell Rose 5 years ago from England

      That sounds great! maybe I will try again! haha! I think with me its the fact that most of my friends are doing other things and I don't want to go out on my own, but hey ho, I am going to now! thanks for reading, cheers nell

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      Marla J Neogra 5 years ago from Parkersburg, West Virginia

      Interesting hub, fortunately at 50 with three grown kids I can still go out with the younger crowd and have a good time and get drinks bought for me by men who are not my husband. I am definitely not the weight I once was but still competition to quite a few!

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      Nell Rose 5 years ago from England

      Lol! thanks again, nell

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      Alisonburgess 5 years ago from Warren, Michigan

      Well, I am 45 and my son is 8 and keeps messing up and saying I was born in 1945 lol.

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      Nell Rose 5 years ago from England

      Hi, htodd, thanks for reading, I was having one of those days! lol!

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      Nell Rose 5 years ago from England

      Hi, Alison, lol! I know just what you mean, I don't know Martha Quinn, being English, but its similar to when my son asked me how do you use this old tape recorder! haha! it was one of those square ones with the buttons on the front!

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      Nell Rose 5 years ago from England

      Thanks yols-a!

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      htodd 5 years ago from United States

      This is really an awesome post ..Thanks Nell

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      Alisonburgess 5 years ago from Warren, Michigan

      You can tell you are getting old when a book comes out called "I Want My MTV" and your daughter (24) asks you who Martha Quinn is and you remember.

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      yols-a 5 years ago from Trinidad and Tobago

      Hey a really funny hub keep up the good work

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      Nell Rose 5 years ago from England

      Hi, lily, lol! that sounds just like me! I was wondering how you were, hope you are okay? we are going through a deep freeze, so I think I will keep the thermals on for now! haha!

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      Lillian K. Staats 5 years ago from Wasilla, Alaska

      Oh, how I love you!!! I knew I could not be choosy when I had to pluck my nose hairs, as well as my brows, and that I could wrestle into a girdle, but could not hide my cankles! Oh, dear, much love from across the pond! lily

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      Nell Rose 5 years ago from England

      Hi, Mark, lol! don't worry, I feel better now I know men feel the same way! we just have to get back out there and strut our stuff! haha! thanks for reading, cheers nell

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      Mark Pitts 5 years ago from United States

      Don't worry, us fellows go through the same thing. This was too funny, thank God, otherwise it would just make me feel bad.

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      Nell Rose 5 years ago from England

      Lol! 'melons can only be fully appreciated when they are let loose from their sack'! haha! brilliant! thanks sligo, made my day!

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      Nell Rose 5 years ago from England

      Thanks again, MummyDearest, my son thinks I am mad! lol! but he knows my sense of humour, I always know when he is being serious because he says, 'this is my new girlfriend act like an adult! hee hee!

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      sligobay 5 years ago from east of the equator

      Hey Nell. You know, a head full of teeth is not all its cracked up to be. Why "toothless old men" seem to occupy your pubs should be taken up with your Minister of Health. Young and old, dental aesthetics make the world a happier place because we prefer a smile from a person with a full "grill". "Ignore your teeth and they'll go away" reads the sticker on the bumper of my dentist' Mercedes.

      Why are Pubs full of toothless men and not women? Some good dentistry, grooming and a gifted tailor remove the vestiges of age for both genders. If you've got it, flaunt it. If not, then don't. Sexuality evolves and ripens.

      Enough for the reality part of my comment. This article is fall down funny and so my comment needn't be. The roundness of melons can only be fully appreciated when they are let loose from their sack.

      Laughter and a sense of humour evolve with age and experience and are more greatly valued than the superficial silliness of schoolgirls though that cuteness is never lost to a mature woman.

      Now that I have my new denture, I'd never miss an opportunity to buy you a drink and laugh uproariously with you throughout eternity - provided I could strip you of your death shroud. LOL Another GREAT WRITE.

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      Eileen 5 years ago from Kildare, Ireland

      i am reading your hub again and just shared it with my husband... it made us laugh!! What great sense of humor you have!

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      Nell Rose 5 years ago from England

      Thanks Eliza, I can't wait to read it.

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      Lisa McKnight 5 years ago from London

      Nell I've stopped by to say my latest hub was inspired by you and this hub! Thank you x

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      Nell Rose 5 years ago from England

      Thanks alpha, glad it made you laugh, nell

      Hi, Angela, lol! I love that! deee-vine! I am going to say that every time I see a nice looking man! that's made my day thanks!

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      Angela Blair 5 years ago from Central Texas

      Nell, this Hub is an absolute hoot! Now, I've got something that will make you feel a lot better (LOL) and raise your spirits. Be who you are, when you are, and don't give a thought to age. I'm 74 and having more fun than I've had in my entire life -- also, younger men are just deeee-vine! Great Hub and voted UP! Best, Sis

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      alphagirl 5 years ago from USA

      You made me laugh!