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How You May Appear Unattractive and Not Know It!

Updated on April 21, 2020
Pam Morris profile image

Writing is my passion. I have an undying thirst and quest in the field of writing. Some eat, drink or use drugs when stressed; I write.

Just because a person has a pretty face, doesn’t make them attractive. There is more to be attractive than having a beautiful face. There are behaviors that people have that take away and make them look unattractive.

I think of myself as a lovely woman of integrity, a nice lady who is loving and giving to everyone and a people person. I have been teaching my children. The beauty of an individual is not part of a facial mole, but the real attraction is inside a person.

Teaching character traits are an ongoing process, and there are character traits to avoid because they are unhealthy habits. The question up for debate, ‘What qualities make a person attractive?’

As children, we all learn our personality from the surrounding people; if we grow up with high self-esteem, it’s played a considerable influence in determining the adult that child will eventually become.

However, if we grow up with low self-esteem and have a perception of being unloved, this feeling of being “tainted” can be carried into adulthood. But, when a person experiences positive regard from their family, he/she grows up to be the best person they can be.

Confucius said, “Everything has its beauty, but not everyone sees it.” We all are familiar with the Proverbs, beauty is only skin deep, the world is full of beautiful people, but being a beautiful person is not only in the skin, but it is also in the beholder's eye and comes from within.

If you would just take a stroll through a model’s portfolio, or just look around - the world is full of beautiful people. However, true beauty is rare and seldom recognized by the individual who possesses it. In fact, the most impressive feature in the world - is a unique beauty, the one that you cannot see.

Peoples love being around beautiful people because they delight the eye. Being a pretty person isn't about showing people how to look like you. Nor about getting compliments on your looks, but serves as an example - inspiring others toward meaningful lives.

Some people may seem unappealing to others by their selfish behavior, cockiness, and arrogance discussions with others, and not know it. Everyone should strive to be a noble, kind, caring, and compassionate person because we all want to be loved, but what feels good is respect.

There are many ‘unhealthy habits’ that people have that make them seem unattractive and annoying, and it is hard for them to know they have fallen off the attractive wagon. Just like, there are ways to boost your attractiveness as there are to sabotage it. A man can be attractive to a woman, but her bad behavior can make her seem instantly less attractive.

A person’s behavior can make him/her unattractive because attractiveness comes not only from outside, it comes from within, too.

It is sometimes hard to know how unattractive you are when you are so focused on yourself. It is much more difficult to know when you’ve appeal unattractive. If you wonder, why?

It is normally because when a person lets himself or herself go. People are not going to be inclined to tell him/her to their face they are heading towards that unattractive territory.

Also, when a person is not aware that they are acting unpleasantly… in a manner that is so unattractive, they forget that attractiveness is not just what they see with the eyes, it is also what we feel with our hearts and souls.

When a person looks unattractive, people might hint, but often they will feel uncomfortable telling them. That is why a person is self-aware and present always.

When a beautiful girl is around an ugly person, she feels prettier around them, and when an unattractive girl is around an attractive person, she feels uglier.

If you think about it, even a walk down the street to meet the wrong person can change the way you think about your look. It is likely because the brain has a built-in tracker that never stops gathering data.

What you might be unknowingly doing to appear unattractive, you could be Self-Absorbed. Some people are self-absorbed without realizing it.

If your focus is solely on yourself, as if you are the only one that matters and almost all you talk about is yourself; and you do not take into consideration what others around you think or say, you are a self-absorbed person.

If this is you, know that it is time to change because no one wants to be around or be friends with someone unattractive and not even know it.

Three Ways you are making yourself seem unattractive and not know it

1. Constantly being negative

We all will have days where things go wrong, and you need to vent, but someone who speaks and acts detrimental most of the time is an unenthusiastic person.

Even when a person is attractive, if they connect his/her behavior to be negative, It does not matter how good looking he/she is, a sour attitude can bitter their attractiveness faster than you would think.

2. Focusing only on yourself

A person with an attention-seeking behavior who believes they are all that, and a bag of chips, this does nothing for their attractiveness level.

Also, a person needs to know how to draw a line between being confident, and cocky...when a person crosses into the land of self-absorption, it reveals how people see them.

3. Rude to other

An individual who is obscene, impolite or insulting that immediately lessens their attractiveness. People attract people who are respectful and kind. Rudeness diminishes a person’s good looks, and a person who has an awful character, or means behavior, seems unattractive.

How You May Appear Unattractive and Not Know It!

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© 2017 Pam Morris


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    • Pam Morris profile imageAUTHOR

      Pam Morris 

      2 years ago from Atlanta Georgia

      Thank you so much, Tomi, for your comment it is greatly appreciated.

    • tomsmithnow profile image

      Tomi Smith 

      2 years ago

      Interesting and nicely written!

    • Pam Morris profile imageAUTHOR

      Pam Morris 

      3 years ago from Atlanta Georgia

      Thank you for your comment it is so appreciated, and welcome to hubpages!

    • Tea Whitfield profile image

      Tea Whitfield 

      3 years ago from New Orleans, LA

      Very good! I'm new site. Such great pointers.

    • Pam Morris profile imageAUTHOR

      Pam Morris 

      3 years ago from Atlanta Georgia

      You are so welcome, MS Dora. I agree with you, beauty does begin with thoughts and attitudes. Beauty does not just involve the face, it’s so much more. Thank you for your lovely comment.

    • MsDora profile image

      Dora Weithers 

      3 years ago from The Caribbean

      Thanks for this important message in your article. Beauty begins with beautiful thoughts and beautiful attitudes. Your Gabourey quote affirms that. Good job.

    • Pam Morris profile imageAUTHOR

      Pam Morris 

      3 years ago from Atlanta Georgia

      Thank you so much, Charity and I will keep writing.

    • charity ezaka profile image

      Ezaka Charity 

      3 years ago

      Wonderful write up, I learnt a lot from it. I guess it will make me a better person, keep it up.


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