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How can I stop unhealthy emotions?
To really discuss how we can stop unhealthy emotions, we must know the purpose of emotions.
What is the purpose of emotions?
Emotions are good because they share information about how you feel. Some are healthy emotions such as happiness, sadness, anger, anxiety or fear when they are expressed to a certain degree. All these emotions point to something that can be unraveled about you. Before we move on to unhealthy emotions, let me explain healthy emotions to make a good comparison.
- -Happiness can show a feeling of satisfaction that you have obtained something you needed. If it is everlasting happiness, then you see personal growth.
- -Sadness is an emotion that reminds you that you are not in the state that you want to be in life or you lost something or someone.
- -Normal anxiety or fear is a threat system that has been built into us. Anxiety is when you feel uneasy due to an unknown source of threat. Fear is for a known source of threat. Instead of it being a damaging thought, anxiety and/or fear can alarm everyone from the threat.
- -Anger shows someone or something has really afflicted or caused pain. Hence, those who cause pain can get a hint to back off. In normal amounts, these emotions are great, but when emotions are in abnormal amounts, they can cause an abnormal translation between the source of emotions and the intensity of the emotion. A little unintentional nudge can cause people to punch someone in the face. That’s when you know you it is unhealthy and you need to move into another area code.
Getting conscious about our emotions
What is your unhealthy emotions?
Let me restate this that emotions are unhealthy when there is an exaggeration of the emotions. Why are they unhealthy? Even though they do clue you into the state of mind you are in and people need to know, this exaggeration can make the other party you are expressing yourself to turn inwards with their emotions. They will not see you as an approachable individual because they know anything that they will tell you will really piss you off.
An extreme sadness will exhibit your fragility. People seek individuals who have answers or are strong in managing complicated situations. If you are weak (not strong), then you are again not approachable.
Consequently, these emotions can break relationships or not allow you to progress in life. Yes! Progress can be halted! If you are so sad or angry, then you will mentally be locked into the stubborn mode. You will spend more time conjuring thoughts or have questions about why are bad things happening to them rather than concentrating on actions that make things better.
Intervention is direly needed.
That is when you know that you must intervene to help yourself. You want to use techniques that neutralize those explosive or long-lingering feelings. I will explain a couple of techniques. But before that, lets look at the symptoms that will give away that you are being emotional.
A .Symptoms of anger: We all have emotional tells. This is what I have noticed in family, friends and strangers. Please learn to identify these or make a list of symptoms that arise when you get angry next time around
- I have realized rubbing my beard or chin is one of the symptoms.
- Vital signs: Breathing is shallow like you are being rushed. You have a high heart rate.
- You are agitated or uneasy. That moment is so intense. And you want time to pass by quickly.
- Muscles are tightened. That can be clearly seen from facial muscles.
B. Symptoms of sadness:
- Facial expression: the long face and frown on face
- physical symptoms: fatigue, headaches, upset stomach, disturbances in sleep, changes in your appetite such as overeating or not feeling hungry at all, and occasional nausea.
- no interest in doing anything, loss of motivation and hope.
C.Symptoms of anxiety:
- head pains and numbness
- short term memory problems, different fears
- dramatic mood swings
- hyperactivity of body (shakes,tremors, and excess of energy)
Understanding the symptoms
Which symptoms do you carry?
List of useful techniques
Technique 1 – This whole technique neutralizes emotions.
The Down Phase- This phase breaks down the negative emotions each time. This includes step 1 and 2.
- 1st step- You want to acknowledge that you are in an emotional state of mind.
- 2nd step- Say it in your mind that people are just coming up to you or doing whatever. Why are their actions getting you emotional? When you question yourself in this manner, someone's actions do not seem like a huge concern.
The Up phase- This phase emphasizes putting positive emotions or energy into your mental channels.
- 3rd step- Get excited to know what the person wants from you . So find out what it is? This curiosity increases your enthusiasm and moves you forward towards whatever you want to accomplish with the positive state of mind.
- 4th step- In a joking manner, ask what it is?
Technique 2 for Anger – What or who is pissing you off?
Things aggravate you ?
If things piss you off, then find out how it is worked. Until you do not build on the skillset of understanding how things work, you will be frustrated to deal with things. What happens is when time is limited, you want to only focus on completing tasks not understanding the task step-by-step. Why don’t you build the habit of understanding? When you do it little by little, you will know the task completing at some point. When you have fully understood the mechanism, you will use it over and over again. At some point, it becomes automatic. When life becomes automatic, you become less frustrated. As a result, you are not angry.
- One example of something that annoys me is when I have to make a payment online and I have no account setup. You want expose yourself to the fact that you have to take the initial step to make the account.
Is he or she pissing you off?
If people piss you off, then find out what people want. You want to know the underlying reason why they are doing what they are doing. A feedback from the individual will allow you to know how to manage the individual.
- Me: why are you doing this?
- coworker: I like bothering you.
From this interaction, you understand the psychology. You comprehend that in order to not be mad you have to joke around too with him or her.
Are you dealing with an angry individual?
If people are pissed off, then you pin down how he or she looks upset. And ask what happened. What happens is that people get angry, but they do not admit it, so you want to be one step ahead. You want to enable them to express that they are upset.
- Sam: Hey John you look angry. What happened?
- John: I had a fight with my friend.
Of course, this is not a 100% formula. You will find those people who will not say they are angry, but this will increase your chances of a positive response.
Techniques 3 for anxiety- Indifference or resistance in action.
You get anxious that people are caving in on you.
You need to resist or push back in action or do what you are naturally supposed to do.
You ask why are you anxious. It's just that that’s the situation.
Anxious or scared---> Be strong plus courageous---> Do what you were naturally supposed to do
There is a complicated situation: you want to go jog. And one of your friends tells you: Can you do me a favor because they need it. You resist a little bit because you need your space,but you also lock it into your mind since you need to help them out.
Eg. Somebody tells you to move when you are in a tough spot on the street. This spot involves you being in a narrow street and parallel parking. You should just parallel park despite people honking for you from behind. Resist to listening to them honk. You want to go back to your most natural action.
Person puts an important obligation---> push them off by doing what’s natural--> Get excited about helping them out.
Anxiety builds a fear of doubtfulness or of the unknown---> Why fear when you do not know what is it?----> Picture things being great.
Technique 4 for sadness-
This is a difficult one, but it gets less difficult each time you recreate that fire inside yourself. You want to talk to someone who you can confide into and light that fire underneath you, so that you start moving and grooving. The answer is in the symptoms: lack of motivation and hope. Hopelessness is when you have thrown in the towel and glove. Do not throw in the glove! You need to employ a great perspective or attitude.
Do not lose hope--> Stop being hopeless and sorry for yourself--> Be positive--> Repeat;" Be positive" over and over again.