- Mental Health
How can you maintain your attitude?
When times are good we are in the happiest mood. It’s smooth sailing from there. But when times get tough how do we act, talk, and walk. This could be a failure of an exam, a death and regret due to something we should have not done. Can we maintain the same mindset we started off? At first, we might have difficulty dealing exposure to certain situations because we do not have a specific developed mindset. Over time, our minds develop or brainstorm ways to deal with these situations. Perceived crisis are not so bad after we have developed a certain thought process. We can deal with all the curve balls life throws at us.
Process of maintaining attitude
1.To maintain that mind state, it has to be acknowledged that you have lost your attitude. (If you want a basic understanding of attitude, click on "Attitude is how you visualize things around you.") They say if you want the solution, you have to know what’s wrong. This is analogous to a medical case in which the person has a medical condition. Now he can only treat the medical condition if he tells the doctor of something he had an influence on. Maybe he ate something that caused food poisoning due to bacterial infection or overdose of some substance. Sometimes when we do not focus on the problem, we do not know what to fix. Bottom line: let’s find the problem. Understand that you are not doing it to ponder upon the whole day and night, so you do not feel sorry for yourself.
2. Write down all the reasons why you lost your attitude.
An example would be a boy has the happiest life until his grandfather passed away. He has become depressed and slipped into the emotion-filled period.His reasons could be that he has lost a mentor, a friend, or someone he loved a whole lot.His grandfather was the solution finder for all his problems.
You have to find a remedy that can keep you on your toes. This means being consistent in mindset, so we have to build a consistency list. I will show my example of remedies and why they work for me.
You can lose your attitude if you think too much. True or False?
The Octade of Attitude
You want to have your main remedies or a main list that gives an infrastructure to your attitude. This integrates your mind in a coherent or whole system. Every moment or point in time, you are the same. Of course, I named it the octade of Attitude because of 8 main rules. These are the rules to my mind. You can make whatever rules and names you want. Ready to drive your mind how you want.
1. I run you. You can’t run me. I will explain how this works. If you check the phrasing, you can make out that it’s like a command. You want to be in charge. You say it to yourself, so it enters your ears. You are more obedient to yourself then anyone else. When you become confident in doing something, you realize the phrase has taken its effect.
2. I have an unbiased perception. This means that I will take a decision not due to the emotions I have, but based on logic. Doing things due to emotions gets you off track to the path you are trying to follow. For example, you are having a conversation with your sibling and you end up having a fight with him. Instead of observing what my brother had to say, you let emotions get the best of you. You lash out at your brother. After that point, you are not able to know what your brother had to say. It leads you away from your positive focus in life of having a great relationship. Nonetheless, from my first hand experience, I still could tell you that I have brought myself back to the positive focus. With this, my brother and I have that healthy sibling relationship.
3. You want to practice empowering emotions. These are emotions that reinforce or strengthen you. Before an understanding of how empowering emotions work, lets look at disempowering emotions. Disempowering emotions are the crumbling emotions that give you that low self-esteem. Feelings include sadness, self-doubt, impatience, and anger. Each time that you notice one of these negative emotions reply to it with an opposing positive emotions. So, therefore, if you feel sadness, say to yourself: “BE HAPPY.” You will start to experience some level of happiness.
4. You need to breath calmly. We not only command ourselves to do this, but we also calmly take deep breaths.
5. Do not think too much. Since we lose our attitudes due to disturbance in our thoughts, we should not think so much. We can use the analogy of the tamed lion at the circus. Now when the lion does not do what it is supposed to, it gets tamed with a stool. If you look at the stool it has 4 legs on one side and one side has a sitting platform. You are probably wondering which side is used. You want to use the side with 4 legs. Why? The reason is because the lion’s attention is divided between 4 legs. There is no focus. We think in a similar way. When we have a lot of things on our minds, we lose focus. We need to be the lion or the beast that has our eyes on just the meat we want to pounce down on.
Lets pick the one that works for me.
Which one of the eight octads works for you?
6. We also want to be the same throughout or have integrity. This is something we all need to practice. When we do not say what's on your mind, we start mentally bashing ourselves. We ask ourselves why did we not do it. It sets you up for a big domino effect in which you start scolding yourselves in many different ways. Before you know it, you lose your great state of mind. I had the most difficult time showing who I was on the inside because of my extreme shyness. This is my basic formula I employ.
You do not have to be rigid with this formula, but overall you should use it.
7. Command: Know you have released yourself from a habit. Know you will no longer do it and say reject to each habit that will get you out of the bubble.
The bad habits could be sadness, shyness, stress, hesitation to do or say something, fear of certain individuals, paralleling feelings between my world and fictitious world. At this point this probably confused you. Let me show an example. The bubble equates to the bandwagon you fall off of. Pretty you snap back into the old bad habit. If you show shyness to be a bad habit, you use the above commands. Paralleling feelings means emotions that you have for certain situations in your life get released because you watch a movie with similar situations.
8. Do not do things that will cause great stress. Eg. Develop better communications skills, so you do not have conflicts. Conflicts can be stressful.
Then we have a secondary list, which has extra antidotes to problems you may encounter. Remember you have to keep your mind guessing, so it doesn’t adapt quickly. That’s why I call them the guessers
1. Each time something happens throw it out of your mind to decrease the burden of your mind and wipe off your shoulder. I have done this so many times it’s not even funny. And it works!!!!
2. I always think about the positive out of every situation. You have to understand there is no point to be negative when it will bring you down.
3. Positive self-talk. This is great self-talk that reflects optimism and reinforces your confidence. This is similar to self-affirmation.
If you have ever noticed yourself saying bad things not for conversing purposes, then you will clearly understand what self-talk is. This is the talk you have with yourself. It will affect in a negative or a positive way depending on what type of powerful words you say to yourself. If you say: “Sam you can do it”, then this is positive self-talk. If you say: “Sam you are horrible at that”, then this is negative self-talk.
4. Time is the ultimate thing that pushes us. We breath, walk and talk and do everything on this time. We are pressured, so we have to command ourselves to say: RELAX AND WE HAVE PLENTY OF TIME.
5. Once in a while, spontaneously, your tears come out of nowhere. This means our subconscious talks. We need to recondition our tears. Tears are usually associated with sadness. Why don’t we program to happiness?
6.You have to learn positive body language. People not only understand you through what you say but how you say it and act. Lean back rather forward. This changes the meaning of your body language from needy to indifferent. Look people in the eyes to build trust. We should all nod because it gets people in the yes mode.
7.We all have a why in life. We don’t just want you spinning your wheels. My why are my parents, siblings and me. I want to retire my parents, get my brother and an education and help my sister fulfill her life. And I want to leave a legacy.
8. See as things happening. At the same time, see as negatives and struggles are lifted off your chest. Lets picture things as getting better. We have to chase the light at the end of the tunnel.
9. Don’t relate anybody with someone annoying in your life. It brings double the negative emotions.
10. You want to create a lock system between work and personal life. If we don’t do this, then each gets affected negatively. Pressure that we feel at work turns into anger with displace on siblings and parents. And problems in your personal life such as personal confrontations can hurt your production at work.
11. We all have some bad habit that we want to change. Start attaching a positive thought with every bad habit until you remove it.
12. You are the person behind the show. When you feel that way, you want to chant this command: NOTHING RUNS ME. I RUN IT
Thoughts on self-talk
Do you think self-talk is important or not?
Let's brainstorm. If you feel you have ways of dealing with situations, let me know. I always like to listen.