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How to Deal With Emotional Baggage Effectively

Updated on August 4, 2018
Pam Morris profile image

Writing is my passion. I have an undying thirst and quest in the field of writing. Some eat, drink or use drugs when stressed, I write.

We all travel through life with the bag of sorrows of all our failures; the question is how much emotional baggage do people carry around. Some might take several suitcases while another may bring only one tiny bag. Regardless if it's many heavy bags or just one small bag, most of us are carrying a lifetime’s heaviness of grief, pain, and bitterness. These baggage result from negative experiences from our past that we have not manage, and it's our responsibility to figure out how to rid old bags that are tearing us down. Moreover, we are responsible for every area of our life, especially feeling that we carry with us daily.

There’s a saying by Dalai Lama that says, “Don't let the behavior of others destroy your peace.” It’s hard for a person with emotional baggage to understand this proverb because of their baggage. We will have to rid our life of bags to accept "unacceptable" behavior, which is what the saying is speaking of, we are the artist of our life, and we should spend every day learning to take responsibility for our behavior and not let nothing interfere with that. Never give someone the power to affect your emotional reaction. What is emotional baggage? It is painful memories, mistrust and hurt carried around by a person from their past —react to challenging situations like dealing with the parent who was not there for you or letting go of an ex that hurt you to your heart.

Everybody has emotional baggage as sometimes the past inner baggage can flow out to be outer baggage in the present. Although some may have more than another, the bags of depression that most of us might have are the fear that holds us down and can be indicative of a deeper problem. Some stuff merely's got to go. If it isn’t serving any purpose but instead weighs and is holding you down look through, sort out and get rid of old rubbish.

Emotional baggage can cloud your judgment as they are very unreliable and are based on complete irrationality. They will leave you trapped in the past by the unhappy remainder of your own bad choices — like thinking you are not too drunk to drive home or trying to hold on to an unhealthy relationship because you are afraid you cannot do better. Sometimes bad decisions are made because we are a person who makes them on a regular basis, and the brain does not forget the bad choices you have made in the past.

Emotional baggage is stimulated by negative feelings that leave you thinking— “My life is not fair," “"Why are things like this always happen to me,” “It is not my fault," and “How did I end up like this?” These underlying feelings are direct emotional reactions that can lead to a desire to act out. Whether you know it or not you have the power to overcome this negative baggage from knowing where it stems from and the desire to manage painful emotions by committing to behaving differently.

For a moment, let's look at the negative feeling that we feared, the one that follows us, and lead to the reaction of emotional baggage.

• You expect and look for the worst: when you focus mainly on the adverse outcomes and fail to give attention to the possibility of a positive result, we are left open for emotional baggage.

• You act on instinct: When you fail to stop and think, but act quickly, without considering the consequences of your actions. You are willing to expend to push some emotional rock up, which will lead to an emotional outburst.

• You allow yourself to cling to fear: that is not good because fear is one of the three most influential emotional drivers.

• We play the victim: If we want the power to get past the past emotional baggage, we must get rid of false pride because it comes between higher thought and an empowering choice.

• You disregard good advice: You must take a hard look at your habits of thinking and decision you are making because a false sense of worth limits us from receiving help from encouraging input.

As you travel through life, you will gather emotional baggage, but until you find out how to leave them behind and identify the cause, you will be stuck at a standstill because these negative feelings will continue to outline who you are, the way you think, the choices you make and the actions you take in life.

There are two main types of emotional baggage in a person’s life which include what he or she is aware of (excess), and what he or she is not aware of (hidden). The first baggage comes with what a person’s eye sees, but he or she chooses not to acknowledge the problem at hand. Moreover, the other baggage is the individual decided to ignore what the eyes look for some reason he or she are allowing it to interfere with his or her life, relationships, and future.

“The time has come to lay that baggage down and leave behind all the struggling and striving. You can be set free as you journey forward into a balanced healthy and rewarding future.”

― Sue Augustine,

Hidden baggage

Hidden baggage, sometimes it is easy to get a false sense of security about something you may not be aware of, or if you are aware it can be easy to think that you will not be exposed and that is equally dangerous because it can sneak up on you and ambush you out of nowhere. Hidden baggage is full of tricks and can trap you into things that trigger emotional baggage like putting up with a job that works you countless hours for low wages and no appreciation. It will allow you to think a selfish person is your best friend who thinks only of his or herself.

Take a reality check.

The best thing for all of us and a good start toward addressing your baggage is to carry a lighter load, which begin with tackling your bags with a present-day reality check. When you allow your emotional baggage to lead your life are they through immediate reaction to an experience that draws anger, fear or sadness? Stop, think and analyze all your emotional feeling. Why did you react, what made you upset? Was it a fearful, humiliated or shocking event that took you by surprise? Did you overreact to what someone said or because the situation might come into effect in your life now? Alternatively, maybe the words that were spoken triggered something from your past. Could it be that they are painful to experience from the past that will cause you to feel or react out of proportion in fear it will affect you today?

Three Steps Process to Get Rid of Emotional Baggage & Face Your Fears Daily

  1. Write an open list of the thoughts and behaviors that will build better habits and not weigh you down.
  2. Put forth an effort to find at least one positive experience in each hurtful experience in your life
  3. Focus on creating affirmations to encourage a must needed change and counteract all negative thoughts. Time to Let It Go!

Getting past old injustices and hurts isn’t easy, and it has a way of creeping back in your lifetime and time again. It is heart-tappingly easy to get trapped in the darkness of evil recalls, as it can take a radical change to get past yesterday emotional baggage. Here's how.

First, take a close look at your life. The past has a way of trapping us through painful unexamined past hurts that clutter our mind and spill over on every corner and tabletop. The past can also enslave to your be lost in thought, obsessive to the brain to replay old losses, past injustices, nagging guilts and elbowing out the new and all the possibilities. My advice and a powerful urge to whoever is reading this article, take the time to right all wrongs that can never be erased. Then revisit any hurt from which visit you from time to time, let go of any cling to lost love, or any pain from someone else's lies —they are emotional quicksand that will exert a strong downward pull on the soul.

Letting go means becoming aware that you give leave of the negative thoughts in your head and your heart. By becoming conscious of this, you were getting past yesterday and suddenly be connected to something that will demand both thinkings and do. In fact, this means you are letting go of things you once keep holding on to; it will no longer be in your head… you will start to live life from your heart. Although emotional baggage can quickly return, a significant amount of that defiance comes from nothing more than the human reluctance to change.

After many years of accurately carrying baggage around in my life, I realize it is time to make a change to let it all go. Many hurt, disappointment and fear made me take the time out to tell myself “I am letting this emotional baggage go.” First, I had to let go of the thought pattern because each thinking arrangement is a cunning argument against allowing myself to let go. From my many years of carrying around emotional baggage I learned that when a person decides to let go of old baggage, the body will take an overloaded of luggage and are unwilling to let go. That is why some people give up hope and hold on to old baggage.

There are several steps a person must overcome to let go of all baggage honestly. One thing they must learn to do is discard when they are suffering and holding onto baggage. However, the first step is to find someone who will help them unpack their bags and focus on all the critical ways baggage has impacted their lives. Then merely see what need to be changed with clear eyesight. Those eyes will help you to let go and understand how the baggage you have been carrying around been holding you back from capitalizing on your potential.

Next step, begin small—organize your life to remove clutter, the more baggage you eliminate will up your spirit, the "keep" pile will shrink. You might want to sort smart: toss, or put in "keep" pile. Prepare yourself to feel sad, anxious, energized, overwhelmed, regretful, and emotional. Then you can walk away from toxic friends or negative relationship and— make things right where you can release all the toxic stuff before it gets to be too much. So, you can move forward, less weighted down by the past.

“How to Get Rid of Emotional Baggage & Face Your Fears Daily....”?

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© 2017 Pam Morris


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    • Pam Morris profile imageAUTHOR

      Pam Morris 

      17 months ago from Atlanta Georgia

      Thank you so much, Ms. Dora, for your compliment, it is so appreciated. I look forward to hearing more from you, and you are so welcome for thanking me for my article.

    • MsDora profile image

      Dora Weithers 

      17 months ago from The Caribbean

      Real helpful suggestions on dealing with emotional baggage and your photos carry some very weighty messages. Thank you.

    • Pam Morris profile imageAUTHOR

      Pam Morris 

      17 months ago from Atlanta Georgia

      Thank you, Tomi, I appreciate your comment and support.

    • tomsmithnow profile image

      Tomi Smith 

      17 months ago

      Another well written article!


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