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How to Get What You Want: Seven Secret Steps to Success

Updated on October 10, 2017
Deborah Demander profile image

Deborah is a writer, healer, and teacher. Her goal is to help people live their best lives everyday by sharing her joy and love of life.


How to Get What You Want

What do you really want? When you look at your life, what do you think is missing? What do you think would make it better?

By following the seven steps listed below, you can achieve success and have what you want in your life every day.

Decide What You Really Want


Know what you want

1. Get clear on what you want. How can you expect to be successful or to get what you want, if you don't even know what you really want?

Often times, your goals conflict with each other. This causes confusion not only in you, but also in the energy you send out into the Universe. In order to get what you want, you need to decide what you want.

For example, you say you want to be free from drama in your life. Yet you consistently get drawn into other people's drama, you find yourself getting into Facebook fights and texting wars, and your friends are always pulling you into their arguments.

Inside, you feel flattered that people want your opinion, and want you on their side of an argument. Your desire to feel important and needed is fueling the drama that you say you hate. If you say you are tired of drama, then stop seeking the attention that comes with being dramatic.

Whatever your own situation is, to be successful and to get what you want, you first need to get very clear on what you want.

Make a list of what you want in your life. Instead of focusing on what you don't want, focus on what you do want. Get very clear for yourself about what you want in your life.

Once you get clear, then you can begin moving in that direction. And once you begin moving in a direction, the Universe will conspire to support your request.

Stop Focusing on Yourself

2. Empower others to achieve their goals. The second step to getting what you want is to help other people get what they want.

When you encourage and empower others, you increase the positive vibration of the Universe. What you give others, you get. If you help others become more successful, you will become more successful in the process.

Don't help someone, for the sole purpose of improving your own life. Help them out of a genuine desire to make their life better. As you do that, you will see other's standing in the gap for you, and giving you the assistance you need to become more successful.

How Can I Help?


I am already successful

3. Act As If. If you want to be more successful, then start acting like it.

Say you want to be healthy. Or you want to be happy. Or you want a job you love. Start acting like it. If you were actually healthy, or happy, or loved your job, then how would you act?

If you were already successful, then how would your life be different? Examine what you think you would do if you were already where you want to be. How do successful people act? Act like that. What do healthy people do? Do that thing. How would I be, if I were happy? Be that.

Be today what you want. Do the things that a person like that would do. Have the life that comes as a result of being and doing what you desire most.

Just Be Nice

4. Be Kind. To be a good leader, to get what you want, to achieve success, be kind. Being rude, mean, angry and forceful may make people fear you, but rarely will they respect you.

In order to get what you really want, you will be more successful when you are kind. You will find people aligning with your vision and working to support your goals.

When you are kind, you create more energy toward what you want, and you are able to bring people into collaboration with your goals.

Kindness begets kindness. It is always possible to be kind, and when you are kind, you will be a more effective leader.

Kindness Supports Success

Do you have what you want?

Given your current circumstances, how successful are you today?

See results

Have No Fear

5. Don't be afraid. You have nothing to fear. Truly, there is nothing to fear. Even if you look at the worst possible outcome for your situation, there really is nothing to fear. In the end, everything will be fine.

Fear blocks success. You fear what others will think of you if you succeed. You worry about what others will think of you if you fail. You fear what could happen to you if you really do get what you want. You fear what might happen if you get what you want and lose it.

With all of this fear, it is easy to decide that success is too difficult and too risky.

Stop it.

There is nothing to fear. Stop being afraid and live a big, bold, exciting life.

Shine Your Light for All to See


Thank Your Lucky Stars

6. Be grateful for what you have. It is important to express gratitude for all the blessings in your life. It's important to remember that whatever your life circumstances, however rich or poor you are, you have something to be thankful for.

Is the sun shining today? Be thankful. Are you breathing? Are you alive? Rather than focusing on what you lack, spend time in gratitude, appreciating all of the blessings in your life.

You can choose to suffer, or you can choose to soar. Look beyond your immediate circumstances and be thankful for what you have.

The Universe will not bring more abundance into your life, until you begin appreciating the blessings you already have.

A time to be grateful


Be Who You Really Are

7. Follow your heart. This is arguably the most important secret to success. Be who you really are. Your heart speaks your truth. Listen to it, follow it, and do what makes you happy. Then, you will find success, happiness and abundance.

When you are true to you authentic self, then you give the world the gift you were meant to deliver. Each one of us has special talents, gifts and treasures. When you share your true self, then you will find success.

If you aren't sure what that looks like, ask yourself a few simple question. What makes your heart sing? When do you lose track of time? How do you enjoy spending your free time? The answers to these question will point you in the proper direction.

Don't over think it. Just listen to your heart, and move in the direction of your true self. When you are true to your calling, then you will have exactly what you want.

Discover who you really are

You can have exactly what you want

While these steps may seem too simple, they will really help you discover and achieve your own success. You can have exactly what you want in life.

Success is not a dream that only a few will achieve. You can begin today having exactly what you want.

In this moment, be true to yourself. Be who you are. Do what your heart desires. When your heart sings, then you will truly have everything you really want.



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    • Deborah Demander profile image

      Deborah Demander 15 months ago from First Wyoming, then THE WORLD

      Thank you Perspycacious, for both reading the article and for commenting.

      Yes, I agree the Bible is a great source of wisdom and inspiration.


    • Perspycacious profile image

      Demas W Jasper 15 months ago from Today's America and The World Beyond

      It's always a good idea to read the suggestions of others on the subject of successful living (which is probably why the Holy Bible is an annual best seller.) This was well-written and augmented. Thanks.

    • Deborah Demander profile image

      Deborah Demander 15 months ago from First Wyoming, then THE WORLD

      @annart, Ann, Thanks for reading and for commenting. I agree, as I have grown older and more wise and confident, I have become more successful, mostly because I believe I can do whatever I want.

      @Emadadul, Thank you for your comments, and for reading the article.

      @CapCool, I'm glad you were inspired, now go out there and conquer your world!!

      @urbanphotos, Thanks for reading and for commenting. Actually, I am entirely serious. When you inspire, encourage and empower other people, it only serves to make your life better. I don't know about the Secret, but I do know my own experience, and it has proven true time and again. I hope you can try it and find it beneficial in your own life.

      @Rajesh, Thank your for your kind words. I did try to keep it pretty simple and basic, so that it could be easily understood and applied. Thanks for reading and commenting.

      Namaste friends

    • rajeshcpandey profile image

      RAJESH CHANDRA PANDEY 15 months ago from India


      A wonderful journey through quotes. You have penned such a simple but fantastic article that I read it in one go(This rarely happens with me ). Someone rightly said that It's simple to be nice but it's difficult to be simple. Looking forward to the next by you.

      Thanks and regards

      Rajesh Chandra Pandey

    • urbanphotos profile image

      urbanphotos 15 months ago

      Are you serious?

      "When you encourage and empower others, you increase the positive vibration of the Universe."

      The universe is indifferent. It doesn't know good or evil, positive or negative. Your article sounds like it's based on "The Secret" by Rhonda Byrne, which has no evidence to support its assertions.

    • CapCooL profile image

      Edwin B Lowry 15 months ago from PA

      Inspiring words, and all of it is true. Great job! :)

    • profile image

      Emdadul Hoque 15 months ago

      I am fully agreed all the point you mantioned...realy like your article..keep fine.

    • annart profile image

      Ann Carr 15 months ago from SW England

      Wise words indeed. I think a lot of this comes from experience and confidence. Mostly, the younger one is, the less confidence one has and obviously the less experience. Having the guts and determination to say, 'actually, I can do this and I'm going to succeed', is not easy but, boy, does it make a huge difference. Your hub should be read by every young person wanting to make a mark!

      A good read and great advice.