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How to Have Less Stress and Sleep Better

Updated on March 26, 2018
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Tomi has a certificate as a Happiness Coach. She can give ongoing support to people trying to attain their goals. She enjoys helping others.

Do You Feel Anxious?

We have a choice to let go of anxious feelings, and allow ourselves to feel:

  • Safe
  • More clarity
  • More courage
  • More certainty

When we feel anxious, it is just a feeling that we can release or let go of. You can choose your inner strength over anxiousness. It can be that simple. We think that by holding onto our anxiousness, we are safe, but that is not true.

Less Stress, More Sleep

When I release negative thoughts, I get a sensation similar to one I get from drinking alcohol without all the calories and trouble alcohol can bring such as interference with getting to that deep sleep. We sometimes project our problems into an imaginary future by our thoughts. We think something that has happened in our past, will happen in our future. This is not positive thinking.

We get stuck into certain cycles of negative thoughts.We think if we have more of something, things would be better. We get lost in our thoughts which can be pictures, sensations, sounds, etc. If we learn to let go of all of this background noise, we can free ourselves of the past and be present in the now. We can go beyond what is in our mind, the mental noise, and all the spins. I have gained a lot of knowledge by listening to audios with Hale Dwoskin, the author of the Sedona Method Book.

Thoughts are not real. They are just sound, just the noise in the background. We need to start paying attention to what is here now. We are always projecting, trying to rush into the future, and trying to control things. We need to stay in the now, and find the happiness that is inside of us. Like I said in another article, our thoughts only have as much power as we give them. Don't give your thoughts power. Live your life now in this present moment. Be happy!

Negative Thoughts at Night, Gains From Letting Go of Wants

I have found these techniques to be very beneficial in helping me release stress, get to sleep and even stay asleep all at the same time. I accomplish this by the techniques of releasing on the "wants". Since we all have conflicted wants, it creates a problem for us in moving forward. You have to first work on the primary wants before you focus on the opposites. As you release on a want, we also let go of some of its opposite at the same time. For example, we want to control and want to be controlled at times or wanting separation and oneness at times. The four basic wants are: wanting to control, wanting approval/love, wanting security/survival, and wanting to be separate.

Positive Thinking


Sleeping Poll

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Examples of resistance:

  • Wanting to hold onto things
  • When you have to do something
  • When you should do something
  • When you must do something
  • When you feel, I can't.

Negative Feelings, Gains From Letting Go of Wanting to Control

Like the serenity prayer says in my last article, you can learn to accept the things you can't change and feel less stress about things that are not in your control by releasing or letting go. This may include resistance which can keep you from moving forward. As you release resistance, you can move forward more easily in the right direction. You will then feel more in control.

To help with this you can make a worksheet titled, "Releasing Wanting to Control", at the top and by listing specific instances you wanted to control in one column and your NOW want feelings about that in the second column. After you have fully released on those items, you can move on to another worksheet.

A second worksheet would be titled, "Releasing Wanting to Control", at the top too. First column would read: "Ways I try to control". Second column would read: "Ways I try to be controlled". Again, you would just list your items. You would then see which "want" each items is related to: wanting approval, control or security and then release it completely. You can check off or cross out the want after fully releasing on it. Then, you could start asking yourself the release questions for wanting control. "Could you welcome the sense of wanting control? Could you allow it to release? Do you have a physical sensation right now that you want to control or change? Could you let go of wanting to change it?"

Positive Thinking, Wanting Approval/Love

This is where we put too much emphasis on being concerned about what others think of us. We may give into others even though we don't want to just to make them like us. We feel like we need to do something to get love back. We may say "yes" when we mean "no". We may take on too much work to please others. If you let go of this want, you will feel more loved and accepted.

Again, you can make worksheets to help with this. The first one would be titled: "Releasing Wanting Approval/Love". The first column would be labeled, "Remember a specific instance when I wanted approval". The second column would be labeled, "What is my NOW want about that?"

A second worksheet would be titled, "Releasing Wanting Approval/Love" too. The first column would be labeled, "Ways I seek approval". The second column would be labeled, "Ways I seek disapproval". Again, just like the control worksheets, you would make out your lists and release on on those items. After fully releasing on the worksheets, you could start asking yourself the release questions such as: "Could you welcome the sense of wanting approval? Could you let it go?"

Smile and the World Smiles Back


Negative Thoughts, Wanting Security/Survival

If we want security, that means we feel we don't have it. We feel that everyone is out to get us, an enemy. We may feel uneasy or threatened about something. As you let go of wanting security, it could make you feel more at ease, safer and more secure. You can also release on your positive feelings for all these "wants" too to get even happier.

Again, writing down things about wanting security can help you release on them easier. For both worksheets, you should title them: "Releasing Wanting Security". The first column on your first worksheet should be labeled, "Remember a specific instance when I wanted security". The second column should be labeled, "What is my NOW want about that?" On the second worksheet, your first column should be labeled, "Ways I seek security". The second column should be labeled, "Ways I challenge my security". After fully releasing on these worksheets, you could start asking yourself the release questions such as: "Could you welcome the NOW feeling and know that it's okay?"

Next, think of a situation where you felt threatened or challenged and ask yourself the following questions: "Could you welcome the sense of wanting security into awareness? Could you release it?"

Negative Emotions, Wanting to Be Separate

This is when we feel we need a separate identity. We want to be left alone and push away from others. We don't want to fit in because we want to be special. As you release on this want, you will feel more connected with others.

Again, worksheets are a good idea. The two worksheets should be titled: "Releasing Wanting Separation". The first column on the first worksheet should be labeled, "Remember a specific instance when I wanted separation". The second column would be labeled, "What is my NOW want about that?" The second worksheet, first column should be labeled, "Ways I seek separation" Second column should be labeled, "Ways I seek oneness".

After fully releasing on the wants on the worksheets, you could ask yourself releasing questions such as: "Could you welcome the NOW feeling and know that it's okay?"

Hale Dwoskin: Letting Go Video

The Sedona Method Book

The Sedona Method: Your Key to Lasting Happiness, Success, Peace and Emotional Well-Being
The Sedona Method: Your Key to Lasting Happiness, Success, Peace and Emotional Well-Being
I bought The Sedona Method book which gives you all the basics and more, regarding my article. The book teaches you more in depth techniques of letting go, and the book also gives you examples of people going through the method. The book has a lot of information with lists and charts. The book gives you examples of goals. Some of the information may seem repetitive, but sometimes, that is what we need to learn something. If you are told something numerous times or in different ways, eventually, it will stick with you. Just reading the book was uplifting to me with all of the positive reinforcements in it, and the book really helped me write this article with more details of the method and techniques that I have been practicing. This book is well worth the money because it teaches techniques that could help you improve in so many different areas of your life.

Powerful Tool for Letting Go or Releasing

There are more in depth questions for all of these wants which could be very beneficial. As you practice these techniques daily of letting go of the "wants', you can keep improving on your thoughts and start having more positive thoughts. We can all use a little help from time to time. You just have to take it one day at a time and even one moment NOW at a time as best you can.

As you apply what you have learned using these techniques, you will notice improvements internally. These techniques and method can be so helpful and simple. I highly recommend giving them a try if you are struggling with any issues and want or need some peace. They sure help me and have become a powerful tool to use.

Make Peace With Your Past


Help for Sleep

  1. No light in your bedroom. Keep it as dark as a cave.
  2. Keep your bedroom very cool, research suggests around 60-65 degrees.
  3. Keep technology out of your bedroom. Blue lights stimulate the brain and suppress melatonin.
  4. Go to sleep rested and happy. Say positive affirmations to yourself.
  5. Turn your mind off with yoga, stretches, and deep relaxation.

Emotional Freedom Techniques Tapping

I have been using this tapping technique at night, and the tapping technique has been helping me get to sleep. I do this by sitting on the edge of the bed with my feet flat on the floor, and I have only been using two fingers on each hand, the index finger and the middle finger. However, some people get better results by using their whole hand for some of the points, such as the collar bone point and crown of the head point, as you can see in the video below.

Repeat some positive affirmations to yourself a few times while tapping on the sides of the eyes, such as: "When I sleep, I rest completely. When I sleep, I sleep deeply. I gain value from my rest. My dreaming mind is a source of great resource to me." I learned these tapping techniques and sayings from listening to Paul Scheele, Ph.D., CEO of the Scheele Learning Systems.

Tapping Points

Points to tap on while you you are saying positive affirmations to yourself:

  • Karate chop
  • Eyebrow center
  • Sides of eye on bone
  • Under eye on bone
  • Under nose
  • Chin
  • Collar bone
  • Under arms (bra line)
  • Crown of head

How to Tap for EFT

Easy Meditation for Sleep

Here are more suggestions from Paul Scheele, Ph.D. Have some quiet time sitting on the edge of the bed, feet flat, with palms down on top of your legs, near the knees, relaxing your whole body, from the top of your head to your toes. Relaxing each part of the face and body while breathing to the same count, inhaling and exhaling, can help to relieve stress. It is also a good idea to put your tongue on the spot behind your front teeth, where the roof of your mouth connects to your teeth, while breathing this way. You can tell yourself how many hours you want to sleep, what time you want to fall asleep, and what time you want to wake up. You can also tell yourself that you want to remember your dreams, and journal them when you wake up. You can sometimes solve problems by thinking of something you want an answer to, or something you want to do, such as releasing (losing) weight, solving a problem from work, etc., by saying positive affirmations to yourself.

Sleep Meditation Videos

Another good thing to do, that can be very helpful for getting a good night of sleep, is to listen to a meditation video right when you get into bed. There are a lot of different good meditation videos on YouTube. Below is an example of a good meditation video to listen to. I have been getting to sleep easier, and sleeping a lot better by listening to one of these types of meditation videos every night on my cell phone, by using earbuds and turning the light night shift on.

Meditation Video by Jason Stephenson

Getting Back to Sleep after Awakening

Again, these are more suggestions from Dr. Scheele. If you happen to wake up in the middle of the night, don't stress out about it. Say positive affirmations to yourself again.

Say to yourself such things as:

  • This is great. This is a perfect time to talk to my non-conscious mind.
  • I will sleep deeply and rest completely.
  • I will get the equivalent of eight hours of sleep in the remaining time.
  • When I awaken, I will awaken fully refreshed, and feeling great.

You could even try praying if you like, or relaxing each part of your body again. The most important thing to remember is to not let the waking up or being awake again, annoy you. Do not work yourself up into a frenzy. Use this time to your advantage, since you are already in a more relaxed state of mind than normal, from just being asleep.

Further Reading

Please refer to my other articles if you want more information on the Sedona Method and techniques.

Please feel free to comment or ask any questions in the comment section and I will try to answer them.

Thank you for your reading.

You can read more about some of these techniques in The Sedona Method: Your Key to Lasting Happiness, Success, Peace and Emotional Well-Being, by Hale Dwoskin.

© 2017 Tomi Smith


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