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How to Have a Clean Poop – Dietary Advice for Hemorrhoids & Piles

Updated on April 17, 2018
Hemorrhoids also known as piles can have you wincing with pain
Hemorrhoids also known as piles can have you wincing with pain | Source

The Clean Poop Project - Including the Best Foods to Eat and Medicinal Products to Use

All sufferers of hemorrhoids know the agony that can be caused by excess wiping. This article gives dietary advice that can help bring relief to painful piles in a matter of hours.

It also contains a great secret for getting your kids to eat their greens!

Clean Poop Demystified

Having a clean poop is something many of us would like to achieve more often for all sorts of reasons, but first of all, let’s define a clean poop in order to avoid any confusion over what we are here to discuss.

Clean Poop – Definition

A clean poop is simply a poop that takes the least wiping possible to leave the butt clean and fresh.

Clean Poops – Who would benefit?

The simple answer to this is everyone. Everyone that is, apart from the manufacturers of toilet paper and more recently moist toilet paper and all makers of butt wiping accessories (of which I’m not sure there are any, well, maybe toilet roll holders and I suppose toilet brushes may be used less with this technique, if there are any others you can think of, please let me know in the comments section below).

The Pregnant and Elderly

It’s a well-known, if not celebrated fact, that pregnant mothers and the elderly are more prone to developing hemorrhoids, so what could be more satisfying than demystifying the clean poop topic and at the same time giving near instant relief to the millions of worldwide sufferers of this often unmentionable condition that causes so much misery, suffering and discomfort to the vulnerable and infirm.

This pregnant woman may be smiling but she has a much higher chance than average of suffering with piles
This pregnant woman may be smiling but she has a much higher chance than average of suffering with piles | Source

A Poll About Piles

Have you ever suffered from Hemorrhoids/Piles

See results

Cleaning up the Confusion About Dirty Poops

It seems there is a lot of confusion out there as to what causes a dirty poop and how to best have a clean poop. I did a few Google searches and was amazed by some of the suggestions.

I guess most of us have been at the bar of an evening with friends after a few drinks and the conversation has dried up when some inebriated soul comes out with the inevitable “why do some poops take forever to wipe, whereas some are almost clean,” question. At this point, some individuals will exclaim “yeughhh,” and remove themselves from the conversation, perhaps the bar, and sometimes even your company forever, whilst the remainder will inevitably agree the clean poop is the holy grail of poops. Most times the mechanics of what actually produces a clean poop will be ignored. Sometimes one or two of your fellow bar friends may suggest some clean poop theories, one person I knew suggested never straining and just letting it “fall out," which while it is helpful advice to hemorrhoid sufferers, doesn't really get to the meat and bones of the problem. Others suggest eating plenty of fiber and drinking lots of water and these ideas are all fine and dandy and of some help.

More often than not though, once it is agreed upon that a clean poop is the best poop, it is often left as one of those unfathomable mysteries as to why some poops are clean and some are dirty.

But let me tell you it is not a mystery, and my research suggests that there is a way of producing a clean poop, near as dammit, almost every time you make a delivery to the sewage company.

Modern Diets Can Irritate the Digestive System

Having a clean poop is mostly down to diet and modern day diets are mostly full of ultra-processed trash so it is likely that eating these types of food are causing your never-ending wipe-athons.

Whilst I’d always thought I’d eaten quite healthily, I’d never really given the ingredients labels on most packaged food much thought until I’d found myself accidentally deep in central Texas some years ago.

As I was on the way home from work one day, I stopped past a local Walmart to pick up some bread. As I put the bread in the trolley, I noticed there was no ingredient label on the pack. I picked up the loaf and turned it over, and there, to my horror, was the label, which appeared to cover the whole underside of the packet in small print, detailing in War and Peace length what appeared to be every chemical substance known to man.

I wondered what all these ingredients were doing to my inside, as I suddenly realized that since I had been living in the U.S. my digestive system, shall we say, hadn't been quite as efficient as it previously had been.

Daily Bread - Do you know what's in it?
Daily Bread - Do you know what's in it? | Source

Changing Your Diet

When I returned to live in the U.K. I had a number of reasons to make changes to my dietary habits, the first of which was to cut out the mountains of relatively cheap fast food that I had got used to in the U.S. That change on its own, did much to help with my hitherto often upset digestive system. However, I also had reason to change my eating habits due to heart disease running in my family, so I cut out as much food which was high in “bad” LDL cholesterol as I could and included a lot more vegetables into my diet, especially tomatoes, as the more I read up on them, the more I understood that lycopene, which is contained in the gooey liquid you see around the seeds, has a multitude of fantastic health benefits, which you can read about in some of my other articles.

Something else I happened to notice after a while on this improved diet, was my poops were much cleaner and required less wiping, this seemed especially the case when I had large servings of tomato. I put this down to the high fiber content in the tomatoes and the rest of my diet and didn’t really think too much of it until I happened across the foods that appeared to be the holy grail of hemorrhoid sufferers, i.e. foods that can produce a clean poop almost every time.

Now, obviously I can’t guarantee a 100% clean poop for you every time, as that would be a step or more beyond believable but what I can guarantee you, is that these foods will reduce the amount of wiping you have to do significantly and will, on occasion, produce what appears to be a 100% clean poop. However, I would always suggest wiping, just in case as you really never know, unless you possess extreme self-confidence peppered with a little reckless arrogance and a fear of the unknown (hopefully unknown)..

Improving Your Chances of a Clean Poop

In conjunction with the food group that I have identified as the ultimate foods for a clean poop, I would suggest that you also eat a diet high in fruit and veg to give you a constant intake of high fiber foods, drink plenty of water, get some gentle exercise such as walking and also cut out as much highly processed food as you can (yes, some of your friends suggestions at the bar were correct!)

Cruciferous vegetables such as cauliflower and spinach are tops for producing a clean poop
Cruciferous vegetables such as cauliflower and spinach are tops for producing a clean poop | Source

The Best Food Group for Achieving a Clean Poop

As we have discussed, there is one food group that will supercharge your chances of achieving the clean poop dream and that group is cruciferous vegetables.

Those being veg such as:

  • Cauliflower
  • Spinach
  • Kale
  • Collard Greens
  • Broccoli

……and many others, you can see a much larger list of cruciferous veg on Wikipedia, here.

I had never been much of a fan of green veg, but once again, as I researched food for a healthy heart, cruciferous veg was right at the top, and once again I have written a number of articles about them which you can find via my profile at HubPages.

Broccoli - My personal research strongly suggests broccoli is the number one food for achieving the cleanest poop
Broccoli - My personal research strongly suggests broccoli is the number one food for achieving the cleanest poop

The No. 1 Top Food for a Clean Poop

After adding more and more green veg to my diet, I became acutely aware that I was achieving clean poops more often than not. After experimenting a few hundred times with different combinations of cruciferous veg and eating larger portions of just one of the group it became obvious for me that broccoli was the king of foods for achieving the cleanest of poops.

I wondered if this might be down to a particular high fiber content in broccoli, but after reading up I found (via this article in Women’s Health Mag and others) that cruciferous veg also activate a gene in the gut called T-bet which promotes the growth of good bacteria and wards off the growth of bad bacteria. It is also thought that T-bet may act against developing colorectal cancer and even food allergies, so it’s a win-win-win.

Whether it is the combination of fiber and the compounds in cruciferous veg which activate T-bet that causes the clean poop phenomenon, I am still unsure. Perhaps some more learned readers will be able to add to the knowledge in this article in the comments section below. However, I guarantee that if you are suffering from piles right now and don’t also suffer from other adverse reactions caused by cruciferous veg, you are going to want to get yourself as many helpings of broccoli or other cruciferous veg down your neck as soon as possible in order to hugely reduce the amount of chafing caused by excess wiping of your rear end.


Other Products to Help You Sooth Your Butt and Recover from Hemorrhoids More Quickly

As someone who has suffered from the occasional flare up of piles myself, if you are reading this now and looking for quick relief, I feel your pain.

A couple of products I have found extremely helpful are:-

Preparation H Hemorrhoid Symptom Treatment Cream, Maximum Strength Pain Relief with Aloe, Tube (0.9 Ounce)

Preparation H works by rapidly reducing pain, soreness and itching and also by reducing swelling to hemorrhoidal tissue. As this product also contains aloe vera which has been shown to help wounds heal more quickly, it offers a quick relief for anyone suffering the dreaded piles.

Wiping even with the softest of toilet paper can be agony for sufferers of hemorrhoids, so combining these two products together, helps give fast-acting relief at the same time as minimizing further inflammation caused by wiping. These wipes have the added benefit of containing witch hazel, an extract from the leaves and bark of the North American shrub Hamamelis virginiana. Witch hazel has been used as a remedy for piles for many years and is a well-known treatment for many types of skin conditions.

Project Clean Poop - Mission Accomplished

So there you have it, if you have read this far, you either have a severe case of piles, or you surely just have too much time on your hands.

If you are currently suffering from piles, put the knowledge you have gained from this article into practice and I have no doubt we’ll have you back on your feet, or back on your seat, in no time at all.

A clean poop is a happy poop
A clean poop is a happy poop | Source

© 2018 Mr Bueno

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