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How to Love a child. Four Essential factors. Use them on friends also.

Updated on July 17, 2013

This poor fellow has got it tough. Way too much love going his way.

Basically his mom and I are anti-materialistic. So our whole home is kind of built around the boy.
Basically his mom and I are anti-materialistic. So our whole home is kind of built around the boy. | Source

Just include the child and that is a great start

Do you think you know where this is going

If you think you know where I am going with this click yes then check it out at the end.

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Four critical areas to master.

Health

Tenderness

Empathy

Authority

Perhaps that is hard to grasp. I do not use the word love. I do not use the notion teach. I do not use the idea of protection.

So I tell you true that these four categories cover every thing a person needs to do to raise a child to be the best that they can be. Yes there are some tricks Health is all kinds: spiritual, Scientific, organic and lifestyle.

Certainly tenderness is misunderstood by too many. Not just touchy feely hugs and holding but just as much the touch when scolding or guiding and most importantly speaking either with words or with body language. This includes and that the child feels you turn to tender when you turn to them. Wow that is huge, what self esteem even at two. "mommy upset but I make her happy", that is tenderness.

Empathy is generally innate and almost genetic. Do not worry who can also do it no matter. We just zone into the mind and eyes and heart of another. And see it in reverse from ourselves.

Authority is not discipline. Authority is the creation of the full hearty facade that you know what is best for sure. That is really a cool feeling for a kid.

Hard to take: Flowers need dirt and kids need dirt.

buy them all the toys you want but let them dig and play in mud and dirt -- it is the earth.
buy them all the toys you want but let them dig and play in mud and dirt -- it is the earth. | Source

Here is a fact: Kids that play in dirt eat more fruit.

Go ahead shake your head. Ask where in the heck did I get that? Well farm/country kids play in dirt. Farm/country kids eat more fruit. There is no 7-eleven on the corner and farmers love the land, so it just works that way. Fun huh!

Health is a way of life. But a cool thing in a child is what I call baselines. A baseline is a place where your child is normal for them. I am talking every thing from runny nose to smiles to sleep patterns. Some kids are hyper and some near listless. Some eat a ton and some do not. So what you have to do is get a good picture of them. Don't worry a few doctor visits are needed to assure you of normal. Pay attention.

But what is important are drastic changes. Health should be steady Freddy. Some kids have more snot, others only need 4/5ths the sleep. Some cling to mom too long and others suck fingers. Pee Pee Poo poo is another individual thing. But get a good baseline of your child and then adjust as they adjust and change.

This is fun and it is tenderness of heart, voice and touch -- dang right up until the end

And this brings us to empathy.

Try to do like Andrea. A child's day is just as important as ours. Just go back and listen to that song with a little muppet.

And then watch how fun to see how we get into our own act!!!

Work hard during a day to see thing through their eyes. I promise you if you let go and this in a mindfulness manner your heart beat will slow. Your blood pressure will decrease and you will begin to see the world through a child's eyes again and this will replenish your tired butt. And if you do it everyday. You will kick butt in life because you will see what others miss--- that is a bonus.

If you do this you will not jam and cram crap into your child. You will present things properly and they shall be received properly. And you can change a life or one million.

Who has authority over the Perigrine

I can see her and you cannot. Authority is a state of being.
I can see her and you cannot. Authority is a state of being. | Source

Authority has nothing to do with power

Authority is an earned and constant struggle. One mess up and it takes 40 days and nights to correct. It is a path we put ourselves on. "I will not do this and I will step up at all cost".

You can do other things when being with you child. But you cannot be distant or lazy. Whatever you do is secondary. That means no couch time. No cooking time. No on the phone time. Deal with it. Heck you do not even get to hang out in the bathroom grooming. Any sports game or other show on TV is bunk. Bed time is the same as their time --- get up early or slink away after sleep has come. You must exercise discipline and demonstrate it not command it.

So stop the race as in the rat race.

If you think paying a mortgage is more important than paying it forward for a child. Think hard and twice and three times on that. Not true. Time is the only thing that is yours to spend, spend it wisely.

Hey now apply this to friends, family and your spouse. You know what, apply it to yourself.

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    • Ericdierker profile image
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      Eric Dierker 4 years ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Peoples if you read this go now -- do not hesitate, go directly to: http://hubpages.com/@eiddwen

      If you have your shudders closed and live in darkness She will brighten your day. If you live in sunshine so bright she will bring you shade.

    • Eiddwen profile image

      Eiddwen 4 years ago from Wales

      A wonderful hub Eric and many I know would benefit from reading your words. Voted up and wishing you a great day.

      Eddy.

    • Ericdierker profile image
      Author

      Eric Dierker 4 years ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      I hear you loud and clear. I love my childrens!!! I appreciate you jumping on the love wagon.

    • Seafarer Mama profile image

      Karen Szklany Gault 4 years ago from New England

      You are so right, Eric! Enjoyed this hub through and through. My best moments of any day is responding to my daughter's requests to play the games she loves, and doing things she wants to do...and all that just adds so much joy and color to my life! :0) She loved the video of Andrea Bocelli with Elmo as much as I did.

    • MrsBrownsParlour profile image

      Lurana Brown 4 years ago from Chicagoland, Illinois

      Aw, thanks. You do!

    • Ericdierker profile image
      Author

      Eric Dierker 4 years ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Lurana I just see your name on one of my notices and get all warm and fuzzy. I wish I could do that to others. Tootsies are the best and actually safer to hold while driving. hihihi

    • MrsBrownsParlour profile image

      Lurana Brown 4 years ago from Chicagoland, Illinois

      Eric, I do that too! I reach behind me and hold their hands or feet. They love it and so do I. :-)

    • Ericdierker profile image
      Author

      Eric Dierker 4 years ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Lurana it is kind of strange that we have to remind ourselves to give it, when everyone craves it. Sometimes when we are driving I stretch back and just hold hands with the boy in his car seat.

    • MrsBrownsParlour profile image

      Lurana Brown 4 years ago from Chicagoland, Illinois

      I especially love your mention of tenderness. Thank you for that...the world needs more of it!

    • Ericdierker profile image
      Author

      Eric Dierker 4 years ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      thank you pstraube. If you do not now this exceptional person take the time to do so at: http://hubpages.com/@pstraubie48

      If we just sit still long enough with children then we see the angels that they are. You know this and you honor me by coming into my home and sharing.

    • Ericdierker profile image
      Author

      Eric Dierker 4 years ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Here lays my heart filleted for you. A passion I hold so dear that I must work to contain it. Thank you Lastheart. Sweetness boils up from your words.

    • Ericdierker profile image
      Author

      Eric Dierker 4 years ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      So observant my friend. Yes I could have gone on for chapters. But you know me I am a big old sap for love.

    • Lastheart profile image

      Maria Magdalena Ruiz O'Farrill 4 years ago from Borik√©n the great land of the valiant and noble Lord

      I agree with Bill totally... "Wisdom of the ages". I love the way you took us by the hand and brought us to the end.

    • billybuc profile image

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      The wisdom of the ages condensed in one thousand words...who could ask for more? It's like getting cliff notes for a classic novel. Well done my friend.

      blessings always

      bill

    • pstraubie48 profile image

      Patricia Scott 4 years ago from sunny Florida

      Interesting. As a teacher for a skadillion years (retired now and loving it), I spent my days with other people's children who essentially became mine for the better part of a year. I was at their beck and call the whole time they were with me .When I went home, I remembered that. If I could be there for someone else's child, I certainly could and would be for my own. Time is a key element in this whole relationship with our children ...it lets them hear loudly and clearly without us saying a word, they are valued and important.

      Enjoyed this read.

      Angels are on the way to you ...ps