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How to Not Screw Up Your Life

Updated on June 10, 2010


How To Not Screw Up Your Life


This is an easy guide to understand and identify why you don’t have the life you want.  This is also a self meditation piece on how to reflect and change the course of your future.


There are 7 areas of life which contribute to a happy or fulfilled state. 

Family, Friends, Hobbies, Career, Social Responsibility, Faith and Psychological Health.




Let’s talk about family. Some describe them as a circle of unconditional love. Some describe them as crazy folks we can’t get away from.  Whatever your perspective, they are a link to our past and our support system in the future.  They hold precious memories of the core of who you are as a person.  They make the holidays special and remind us of the little boy/girl you are at heart.  You know that little person behind the role of mom/dad or hidden underneath the business suit.  You have an unshakable bond and history with those people.




Friends are the people you allow in your circle. Choose wisely.  Friends are one thing and acquaintances are another.  A friend loves you for who you are. They are there for you in good times and bad times. They are not selfish, have hidden agenda’s, or don’t want good things for you.  Often adversity or success will reveal the truth about the people you call friends.  Friends who love you – never hurt, destroy, or use you. 

If you are blessed with two or with ten, you are lucky.  They pick you up when you’re down, give you good advice, and they love and help you through any difficult periods in your life.  They are honest and tell you the truth about yourself in love.  These people share your good and bad times with you along with the hope of a more positive experience.  Your friend’s love you and want to see you shine and try to assist you in any way to get to your destination.

Acquaintances are people in your outer circle.  You may have some things in common and enjoy their company.  They are great “surface” people to know. By surface I mean those who do not know everything about you nor do they possess the love for you that your friends have for you.  Friends and acquaintances should cause you joy- not stress or harm.




Do the things that bring you joy!  Get away from the job, the kids, and enjoy your time to get lost in what interests you.  This helps you keep your identity and generate joy in your life. Life is short and if you keep doing the same mundane things you will look up one day and not recall the past 20 years.  If you like to draw and express yourself take ceramics, art class, drawing class, etc.  If you like to exercise – join a workout group.  If you like to travel or experience new restaurants with a group – do it.  Trust me – it will not be a hassle; it will be something you really enjoy.  It helps you to feel complete as a person. It also is a cool way to meet other people who share similar interests plus it’s a great outlet and sense of joy for you to experience.



We were all granted a gift. Use it. If you are a comforting person who can respond in a crisis; explore a career as an RN or medical assistant.  If you are a vigilante consumer who always makes others accountable for what they do wrong; be a paralegal or an attorney.  If you like problem solving and interacting with different people then explore account management or customer service jobs.  If you have a good business idea and want to compete with other businesses or do something new; start your own business.  Do you see a theme yet?  Stop working a job and live your career fantasies.  Go for it!  Having a career that you enjoy will require sacrifice however it will be worth it.  What are you afraid of? If you fail – try again and come back stronger! Donald Trump never worries about failure – he just continues to rebrand himself and do something modern and edgy.  When you have a better career you don’t bring the negative energy of frustration and unhappiness to your family, friends, and loved ones.  Great careers release your body from tension and everyone you come into contact with truly benefits.



Okay we all have experiences that would help someone else.  You may have had parents with issues, family members with issues, or maybe you have issues yourself.  Even if your life is relatively easy maybe you could share the tools and practices that govern your life.  No one is saying that you should volunteer all your spare time to a mission or organization. Would an hour a week or once a month for a few hours really hurt?  Your giving will enrich someone else’s life as well as your own.  We are all connected together. The person you don’t impact today may cross your path in an unfavorable way in the future.  Rape, domestic violence, handicapped, homelessness, and helping children are just a few of the areas where you can help.  I will say this – if you need to work through your issues before helping, get that done ASAP.  You don’t have to commit long term – maybe start with a one day event where you help out for an hour or two.  If you have teenagers – it would be great for you to do activities like this together.  This will enrich your life and give you a renewed perspective on life.



Okay, here’s the controversial subject.  If you are a Buddhist, Christian, Catholic, Jehovah’s Witness, Jewish, or karma person – all religions have a positive basis.  What does that mean?  The universal truth of all religions, faiths, and belief systems is that you should be a good person.  Remember that?  People should experience good vibrations of peace and love coming from you.  They should experience a “niceness” that is genuine and true.  If someone asks for guidance and wisdom, you should give advice to help. Don’t just pretend to be good – be good.  Being a beautiful person is about having the light of good intension, love, and care within your heart.  Pretending only gets you so far and eventually you have to face the true person in the mirror.  Do the right thing!  Do onto others as you would want others to do onto you.  Would you want someone to use or hurt you? Would you want someone to cheat on you? Would you want someone to stab you in the back? Be good, true, and pure of heart and good natured.



Let’s have that uncomfortable conversation.  Do you gravitate to co-dependent relationships? Do you always have a relationship with someone who doesn’t really love you? Do you find yourself doing all the “work” in your relationships and the other person is just along for the ride?  Are you constantly involved in emotionally/physically abusive relationships?  Do you find yourself betrayed by your so called friends?  When I say relationships, I mean any interaction you have with friends, family, co-workers, or any relationship. 

Whatever your issues might be; it is no coincidence that you’re experiencing this consistently.  Admit it. Talk to someone. Issues in your childhood or traumatic experiences can wreak havoc on your life if you do not process these experiences and address them so you can grow.  Loneliness, insecurity, the inability to be alone, abuse, parental relationship issues and the like don’t just disappear as we become adults.  Your desire to change your destiny and be healthy is so important in your life.  The definition of insanity is doing the same thing and expecting different results.  It’s not as easy as pulling a Costanzia!  (You remember on Seinfeld – George was always a loser until he started doing the opposite of his instincts to change his luck and it worked)

I want you to play a reel in your mind of a movie staring you and your co-workers, friends, relationships, dates, and family.  See any similarities, any reoccurring feelings or situations, and were you happy with the outcome?  It’s not coincidence that you have experienced what you have experienced.  Remember; the president of the company is often not the most brilliant person. They just know who to turn to for help and build a strong team of experts to support them.  Sometimes it helps to have someone help us to escape our prism to provide insight so we can create a path to where we want to go.  Open your mind to get the help that you need. You will love yourself for making this decision. 


Love you.

I wish you joy and love!


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