- Quality of Life & Wellness
How to Stop Caring About What Other People Think
Stop Thinking About What Others are Thinking
Our own thoughts can hold us back in life. More specifically, our thoughts about other people's thoughts can really rattle us. Concern with what others think of us can keep us from pursuing our dreams, speaking up, or being our true selves. I know each time before I share my writing, I worry about what others will think. Why? I'm not sure. But I do know that the following five steps have helped me to stop concerning myself with what others may or may not be thinking.
1.) Stop being critical of others! When you are worried about what others are thinking about you, it is probably because you are constantly in a critical state of mind. If you are always judging others, it is natural to assume that others are judging you as well. By easing up on your constant judgment of others, you will judge yourself less, too. In doing so, you will be more relaxed, and more likely to believe it possible that others are refraining from judgment, too. Those who are hard on others are often hardest on themselves. Keep this in mind as you accept that if others are judging you, it may be because they are critical of themselves. Try to drop all judgment, including whether or not anyone is judging you!
2.Name Who You are Actually Concerned About It is a bit daunting to worry about what "other people" think. But who are the "other people"? The entire world? Realize that most people are not concerning themselves with you! So who is? Can you name them? When I did this, I realized there were truthfully only two people I was worried about. You may find the same result. That will make your thoughts much easier to manage. Even if you worry about a whole bunch of people and what they think of you, (a crowded auditorium, for example), remind yourself that strangers will not continue to concern themselves with you--and even if they do, so what? They are strangers to you!
3.Consider change. This is a two-fold suggestion. First, if you upset yourself with what other people are thinking about you, is your concern something you can change? Are you worried that your writing isn't good enough? Can you work to improve it? Think your social skills need work? Find someone who can help! Taking steps toward improvement will give you confidence. On another note, remind yourself that others can change as well, and so do their thoughts! They may dislike you one minute, but love you the next! They may respect you, but show otherwise, only to admit it later. Our thoughts can be fleeting, here one second, gone the next. They can also change with time. So don't put so much weight on someone else's passing thought!
4.Consider the source. When concerning yourself with the thoughts of others, consider the source! Is this person a drama queen? A gossip king? An angry individual? Do you even respect his/her opinion? Assuming you even really know what another is thinking, don't assume his opinion is more important than yours!
5. Confidence is key. When worry about other people's thoughts starts filling your head, remind yourself of this: the thoughts that matter most are your own! Be confident in your choices. Remind yourself that you can't please everyone and trying to do so never works. No matter how hard you try, there will always be someone who has something negative to say, (or think.) But there will also be a lot of positive thoughts, too!
Above all, remember that the only thoughts you can control are you own. Make them positive ones, and nothing can hold you back, no matter what anyone else thinks!