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How to Stop Caring About What Other People Think

Updated on August 6, 2012
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Stop Thinking About What Others are Thinking

Our own thoughts can hold us back in life. More specifically, our thoughts about other people's thoughts can really rattle us. Concern with what others think of us can keep us from pursuing our dreams, speaking up, or being our true selves. I know each time before I share my writing, I worry about what others will think. Why? I'm not sure. But I do know that the following five steps have helped me to stop concerning myself with what others may or may not be thinking.

FIVE STEPS

1.) Stop being critical of others! When you are worried about what others are thinking about you, it is probably because you are constantly in a critical state of mind. If you are always judging others, it is natural to assume that others are judging you as well. By easing up on your constant judgment of others, you will judge yourself less, too. In doing so, you will be more relaxed, and more likely to believe it possible that others are refraining from judgment, too. Those who are hard on others are often hardest on themselves. Keep this in mind as you accept that if others are judging you, it may be because they are critical of themselves. Try to drop all judgment, including whether or not anyone is judging you!

2.Name Who You are Actually Concerned About It is a bit daunting to worry about what "other people" think. But who are the "other people"? The entire world? Realize that most people are not concerning themselves with you! So who is? Can you name them? When I did this, I realized there were truthfully only two people I was worried about. You may find the same result. That will make your thoughts much easier to manage. Even if you worry about a whole bunch of people and what they think of you, (a crowded auditorium, for example), remind yourself that strangers will not continue to concern themselves with you--and even if they do, so what? They are strangers to you!

3.Consider change. This is a two-fold suggestion. First, if you upset yourself with what other people are thinking about you, is your concern something you can change? Are you worried that your writing isn't good enough? Can you work to improve it? Think your social skills need work? Find someone who can help! Taking steps toward improvement will give you confidence. On another note, remind yourself that others can change as well, and so do their thoughts! They may dislike you one minute, but love you the next! They may respect you, but show otherwise, only to admit it later. Our thoughts can be fleeting, here one second, gone the next. They can also change with time. So don't put so much weight on someone else's passing thought!

4.Consider the source. When concerning yourself with the thoughts of others, consider the source! Is this person a drama queen? A gossip king? An angry individual? Do you even respect his/her opinion? Assuming you even really know what another is thinking, don't assume his opinion is more important than yours!

5. Confidence is key. When worry about other people's thoughts starts filling your head, remind yourself of this: the thoughts that matter most are your own! Be confident in your choices. Remind yourself that you can't please everyone and trying to do so never works. No matter how hard you try, there will always be someone who has something negative to say, (or think.) But there will also be a lot of positive thoughts, too!

Above all, remember that the only thoughts you can control are you own. Make them positive ones, and nothing can hold you back, no matter what anyone else thinks!

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    • g-girl11 profile imageAUTHOR

      g-girl11 

      5 years ago

      Thanks innerspin! We all have those nagging doubts, but then need to remember that what others think of us is not our business. Thanks for reading and commenting.

    • innerspin profile image

      Kim Kennedy 

      5 years ago from uk

      I'm bookmarking your hub to remind myself of your pointers. To a large extent, I've given up worrying what others think, but the little nagging doubt about my writing still crops up. Why? If someone doesn't like it, they can switch to something else. It won't affect my life. Voted up and shared.

    • g-girl11 profile imageAUTHOR

      g-girl11 

      5 years ago

      Absolutely, jcrosskey1. And the more you work at it, the easier it gets. Thanks for reading!

    • jcrosskey1 profile image

      jcrosskey1 

      5 years ago from Tampa

      You're right, confidence is so important. You have to be comfortable in your own skin. If you are, the things that people say will be just that, things that people say.

    • g-girl11 profile imageAUTHOR

      g-girl11 

      5 years ago

      Thanks daydreamer13! I hope you find the advice helpful!

    • daydreamer13 profile image

      daydreamer13 

      5 years ago

      This is a great hub! Excellent!

    • g-girl11 profile imageAUTHOR

      g-girl11 

      5 years ago

      I'm so glad this helped you! I know what you mean. There is a saying "listen to what others have to say, but in the end listen to yourself." Thanks for reading and commenting-- especially about our great minds! :)

    • profile image

      MundaneMondays 

      5 years ago

      This article really helped me, i tend to take what other oleo say to heart..in what i want to do with life or the decisions i make towards careers and all things..at the end of the day i can take their opinions ..but i have to do me..it's not 110% relevant to what you're talking about ..but i can go hand in hand for someone who can "step-outside" and use these tips to our everyday life....great minds do think alike...im saying you think like me ..lol ...jk xD

    • g-girl11 profile imageAUTHOR

      g-girl11 

      5 years ago

      All great points debbiepinkston! Well put. Thanks for reading and commenting!

    • debbiepinkston profile image

      Debbie Pinkston 

      5 years ago from Pereira, Colombia and NW Arkansas

      We have to keep in mind that what others think of us in only their OPINION of us. Their opinion isn't necessarily correct, and is often the result of their own baggage or insecurities. We all like to be liked, but it's what we think about ourselves and the value that we place on ourselves that matters. After all, we are the only ones who have to be in our own skin 24/7. Great Hub!

    • g-girl11 profile imageAUTHOR

      g-girl11 

      5 years ago

      Thanks destiny17! Hope it works for you!

    • destiny17 profile image

      Karen Beth 

      5 years ago from Florida

      Wow, great hub! Thank you so much for the information and inspiration.

    • g-girl11 profile imageAUTHOR

      g-girl11 

      5 years ago

      Thanks TomRy!

    • TomRy profile image

      TomRy 

      5 years ago from USA

      Great information, will share with others.

    • g-girl11 profile imageAUTHOR

      g-girl11 

      5 years ago

      sradie, true. That is what I meant by "consider the source". Too often we concern ourselves with the thoughts and opinions of people who are not on our side anyway. Best to surround yourself with people who are there to uplift you, and fill your mind with uplifting thoughts. Glad you are enjoying HP. I am too and find that everyone has been so supportive.

    • g-girl11 profile imageAUTHOR

      g-girl11 

      5 years ago

      billybuc, Yes, it's all about confidence and our own thoughts. Some say "easier said than done", but it really can be done! Thanks for commenting!

    • sradie profile image

      sradie 

      5 years ago from Palm Coast FL

      Helpful hub. I just started writing Hubs and I am really enjoying it. I do care how people respond to what I write but I am having so much fun doing it, negative remarks won't make me quit. As a business owner and manager over the years, I have learned to separate the wheat from the chaff. Some criticism is very helpful and hones our skills. Those remarks made just to be critical and demeaning are like the chaff. They will blow away with the wind.

    • billybuc profile image

      Bill Holland 

      5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      That last item was crucial. I finally realized that I was fine with who I was, and it made no difference what others thought...I had to find a quiet place inside of myself where I could go to in order to find peace.

      Great hub!

    • g-girl11 profile imageAUTHOR

      g-girl11 

      5 years ago

      I work on it, too manatita44. We can't control what others think, but we can control our own thoughts. As long as we stay positive, we are ahead of the game!

    • g-girl11 profile imageAUTHOR

      g-girl11 

      5 years ago

      Thanks Admiral Murrah! I like that: "overflowing with truth". I think that is what happens when we break through the barrier of what other people think!

    • g-girl11 profile imageAUTHOR

      g-girl11 

      5 years ago

      Thankds KDuBarry03! That is a shame that you were mocked! It is not easy to rise above such treatment but I am so glad you did. Your future will be brighter because you are caring about yourself and your own thoughts. Make them good ones!!

    • manatita44 profile image

      manatita44 

      5 years ago from london

      I have problems there. Still, I can see it, God's Grace, and I am working on it. Useful and practical hub.

    • Admiral Murrah profile image

      Admiral Murrah 

      5 years ago from Texas

      I liked what you wrote. It is straight to the point and overflowing with truth.

    • profile image

      KDuBarry03 

      5 years ago

      You are absolutely spot on with this information. I used to get mocked in high school (every day for four years straight) but, once senior year began, I just said to myself this: "Why should I care when I have to care about my future and stability?" Worrying about what other's think only gets into the way of your life and dreams.

      Thank you for sharing this, g-girl11!

    • g-girl11 profile imageAUTHOR

      g-girl11 

      5 years ago

      Thanks so much Patty! Of course, even before hitting "publish" on this hub, I wondered, "what will people think?" But that's when I kick into these steps. Sounds like you already are confident--that is a great thing!

    • Patty Kenyon profile image

      Patty Kenyon 

      5 years ago from Ledyard, Connecticut

      Voted UP, Awesome, Interesting, Useful, and shared!!! I completely agree with you. One of my favorite things to say is don't judge others unless you want to be judged. Or another, don't judge a book by its cover.

      Although it is hard, I try not to worry what others think and try to be my own person!! I loved this Hub...Keep Up with the Great Hubs!!!!

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