- Mental Health»
How to be Confident: an Anecdote
When a person changes from being timid to being confident, you'd think how he got his confidence. Actually, he already ditched his fears into a bag, duct-taped it, and threw it into the bin or into the sky or who knows where.
When there is no pessimism, there is no narcissism.
And when there is no narcissism, you won't try to pretend being confident.
And when you don't pretend to be confident, naturally you become confident.
I visited a shopping mall to buy some clothes for myself once. I walked into this branded store, hoping to find a good bargain, but I saw the exorbitant price tags and I was like OH MY GOSH THIS IS CRAZY MAN, I WANNA GET OUT OF HERE.
That experience of me freaking out was unforgettable.
Well, it reminded how poor I was, and it reminded me how poor my emotional state was.
But now, whenever I go to a posh place, I won't feel inferior.
Why? Because I'm not narcissistic anymore. Ok in simpler terms, I'm not self-centered.
Timidness or inferiority comes haunting you when you got nothing better to do. That's when you overthink. If you are not involved in anything, then I bet most of the day you're living in your dreams. You're not living in reality, you're not thinking about how to earn a living, how to build relationships, or how to solve problems. All you're thinking about, is yourself.
And you're thinking that you are a timid nerd. How can I be confident? Ah help me...
The more you think about this, the more rigid your sense of inferiority becomes. Because you doubt yourself, you become self-centered, which then leads to rubbing salt on your wounds.
You will only get true confidence after you stop being self-centered. Then you won't be feeling awkward when you're shopping.
Let me tell you. Confident people don't even have the idea of being confident in the first place.
When we lack something, we think about it. A previously poor guy will become ecstatic when he struck the lottery. On the other hand, a rich guy who has been rich all along doesn't have the concept of being rich. Being rich is just - yeah.
So, whenever you come across a problem, don't think you are useless, or you are trash. Think about the problem in whole, think about where the fault lies, and how to solve it.
To sum up, focus on your real life, and not on yourself. Don't be the guy who wallows in self-pity.