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How to be happy while alone

Updated on October 6, 2012

In this world, too often are too many people alone, or too lonely to bare it. Too many people feel scared and sad even at just the thought of potentially being alone at some point in their lives. This hub is for all those people who feel they have no one, or feel that having no one is necessarily a bad thing. I’m here to show you that being alone, having no one around to bother you, to stop you from doing what you truly want to do, is one of the best situations to be in…

When you are by yourself, you have no one to compare yourself to. When you are alone, you are automatically the strongest, smartest, most clever, best looking, coolest person around! No one is there, judging you, making you feel silly or stupid for wearing your Cookie Monster pajamas, or for experimenting with cayenne pepper in your homemade milkshake. No one will tell you, “This is lame,” when you sit down to watch your favorite childhood movie you and only you love SO much.

When no one else is around, you can listen to whatever music you want to, as freaking loud as you want to. So if bobbing your head back and forth to Mmm Bob by Hanson makes your day, or you love getting sentimental to Seal’s Kiss From a Rose, go for it, because no one else is there to tell you to turn it down because it’s annoying or bothersome. And when you dance to that secret favorite music, you can move around however you please. You are alone, in your own space, with only the music and your body telling you how to move. When you dance by yourself you are always a good dancer, because there is no one to give you funny looks that say, “You suck.”

One of the best things about not having anyone else around is that when you are alone you can be completely yourself! Now, you may be thinking, “I have friends who love me for me no matter what I do, who I totally can be 100 percent myself around.” I’m happy for you that you have friends who make you feel that way. But no matter how much your friends truly love you, they can’t help but judge the things you do or don’t do. People are judgmental, that’s how we survive. When you are totally alone you get to be whoever you want to be and act as crazy or lazy as you want. With other people around, you are always on some level making sure to maintain some form of normalcy, no matter how silly you and your friends are. Think about it…do you ever say everything you are thinking when others are present? Of course you don’t, because you sensor yourself so that you’re friends won’t know how crazy you really are. You can never be as much yourself as when you are alone.

When you are alone, not only will no one be there to judge you, but they won’t be judging you for the wrong reasons. Say you use a word incorrectly, or recalled a fact but couldn’t recount all the details attached to it. Many people will assume, incorrectly, that you are somehow less intelligent than they are, simply for your one or two small mistakes, or for getting something wrong that they consider common knowledge. It may be that you thought the Korean War ended in 1956 instead of 1953, but that in no way means you are incapable of learning new information, which in reality is the true definition of stupidity.

I know, from experience, that sometimes when you are alone, you feel as though you are your own worst enemy, possibly dumping on yourself, telling yourself how much of a loser you are for not having anyone around. But you can also be your own best friend by being nicer to yourself than anyone else ever would be. You can compliment yourself all you want, make yourself look fabulous in the style that brings out your core essence, and do all of this simply because it makes you feel good about who you are.

Being free to try new things without hesitation is a fabulous upshot to being alone. Want to make a soufflé but never tried before and not sure you will succeed? That’s ok. If you completely mess it up, no one but you will know. It may not look right, but it still will taste fine, so go ahead and eat it anyway. Want to take up yoga but feel you will look silly doing Downward Dog? That’s fine. Stick that butt up in the air! No one will be there to watch you.

With no one else around, there is no one to make demands of you, asking you to be in a good mood, to entertain them, to be who they need you to be for them in that moment. No one will be able to complain that they are bored, whining, “What else have you got to do?” or “Well what do you want to do tonight?” You don’t have to make plans or feel anxious that your guests aren’t content enough, ‘cause hey, you haven’t got any! When alone, you are free to just be, and not worry about what anyone else would prefer to do. Figuring out what to do only becomes more complicated the more people you have with you. I say the less people the better. Without other you are free to do exactly as you please, without being bothered by the feeling that the person or people you are with maybe are not having a good time.

By being alone you also save tons of time trying to massively impress anyone else. Don’t feel like washing your hair today? Ok. Can’t seem to put together the perfect ensemble? Great! No one is expecting you to look your best when you are alone, so you don’t have to put all your usual energy into looking “on trend” or as put together as you usually are. Even if you choose to leave the house, no one outside knows how you ordinarily look, so putting on jeans and a t-shirt—or even that really comfy track suit—is just fine.

You don’t only save time, but money too, when you hang solo. No one expects you to go anywhere, so you save money on gas. And you don’t have to pay for the activities you may be doing when other people are around, such as bowling, bar-hopping or eating out, so you save way more money there as well. Since you don’t have people around goading you to go out to do anything particular, you are free to stay home and find myriad activities to entertain you that don’t cost a thing!

Lastly, one of the best aspects of being alone is that you have the opportunity to feel how liberating it is to go out and do alone anything you would usually do with other people. That sounds odd yes. But getting out of the house and doing fun activities alone allows you to see that you can indeed have a great time all by yourself, that you don’t necessarily need anyone in order to have a great time. This idea applies to anyone: Even if you are in a relationship and spend most of your time with your significant other, go out and do things on your own. It’s personally enriching to learn that you can indeed be free on your own and not have the feeling of being alone. Some great things you can do by yourself:

Be a photographer—Go outside and photograph nature or people enjoying their day. Learn how to use your digital camera to its fullest potential, then discover your artistic potential with it.

Go hiking—There is nothing better than enjoying the peace and luxury of being outside on your own. Without anyone with you, you can walk at your own pace and take breaks whenever you want.

Work out, in any fashion—Working out relieves stress and increases endorphins, which make you to feel happy!

Go on a scenic drive—Go wherever you want. Get lost on some long country roads you haven’t taken before. Then have a little adventure trying to find your way home again.

Go out dancing—Being on your own forces you to be more social since you don’t have your friends to rely on. You may even end up making some new friends.

Learn new card tricks—then show them off to people later when they are around.

Learn another language—Plenty of sites online will help you to accomplish this task, and once you do have a handle on the language of your choice, you will feel more secure about leaving this country and traveling to another one.

Go rollerblading, skating or roller-skating—it’s great exercise, and since you are alone you can be as apprehensive or tenacious about doing as many tricks as you want.

Go stargazing—Learn something new about astronomy and the stars. Look at the moon a lot more closely than you usually do.

At home, eat out of the container—Don’t feel like dirtying a dish simply because there is one last helping left in the container? No one will be expecting you to do otherwise, so just use the container.

As you can see, being alone is not horrible. It can be, if you let it be, but it by no means ever has to be. Being alone can be the most fun, most relaxing, most freeing experience, if you let yourself be open to it. If being alone is not a choice situation for you, make it one. You only have everything to learn about yourself, about what you are capable of, and how rewarding it can be to have absolutely no one around to judge you on anything you do, ever.


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    • lucybell21 profile image

      Bonny OBrien 

      6 years ago from Troy, N.Y.

      Wow you hit the nail on the head for sure. I live alone, and I like it most of the time. I have my family around me, and my extended family at work. But I do enjoy my alone time to do many of the things you have mentioned in your hub. I like doing whatever I want when I feel like it.


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