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How to Be Noticed, Accepted and Loved

Updated on April 10, 2019

I have concluded that many people think life is not fair to them, and some feel that luck has to do with how far one goes, and the majority would like to blame someone for the things that aren’t working in their lives. Very few people know what really works and what does not. Either way, the universe has no favoritism. You just have to understand the process, and understand yourself too. A lot of things in people’s lives cause blockages to their good, which they have no clue about.

For anything to progress better in your life you need to evaluate yourself, ask yourself a few questions. It is imperative you examine yourself and really get to know how you feel about yourself. You have to come to a place where you admit what you do feel towards yourself. Ultimately how you feel is what determines what you attract into your life. You must come to a place where you admit self-love or self hate. Many people dislike their bodies and love the bodies of others. You have to be honest with how you feel, and then find out why you feel like that about yourself.

That’s the healing journey, and you need to travel this route because the law of attraction states that you always get what resonates with you. This means you are always attracting situations, people and events in consonant with your own vibration, and this is influenced largely by your thoughts, the way you feel or think. Certain thoughts create good vibrations and some bring about the worst kind of mood. That means each time this happens and you don’t control it, you attract or pull towards yourself people with similar mindset. That’s why many people seem trapped and don’t know why they keep getting the same kind of friends and circumstances in their lives.

Work on changing your thought pattern

Operating from this viewpoint means you are attracting but negatively and it won’t change until you decide to stop functioning at the same level of thoughts. You have to leverage your game. Quit nurturing feelings of despondency and self-pity, stop thinking hate filled thoughts towards your body, stop criticizing everything you do and stop comparing your self with your friends and colleagues. Start operating from a changed mindset and this means you start praising everything about yourself, out praise yourself daily. Praise your body and your efforts, start loving your face and body and know that it is a beautiful body. Start admitting that you are good and that you do make a difference in the world. You should know that no one is like you and you can never be like your neighbor, you are unique, so get about celebrating you. Make it your business to find things to be grateful for about your body and life and when you do so you will find that the list is endless and your mood shifts. After a few more practices you will find that things start working in your favor.

Learn to relate to yourself

The first person to look at before you look at any other person is you; find out how you relate to yourself. You have to get to a place where you are comfortable with your self and that means you embrace yourself the way you are and are able to love yourself. It might not happen overnight but the exercise is worthwhile.

Know and understand your own worth

Dealing with yourself this way helps you to detach from feelings of worthlessness or that mindset that always thinks other people are better and that you can never be like them. The reason why most people are stuck in their lives is because they have undermined themselves for so long so they feel that any person who employs them owns their lives. This is a dangerous platform to operate from because by thinking this way you lose your free will to someone else. You forget that you were hired because that person was looking for someone just like you with the required qualifications for that job. You also forget that you have something of value they want and that’s your expertise, if they could do it themselves they wouldn’t have hired you. The employer hasn’t done anything out of the ordinary, he is ready to hire you and remunerate you for services rendered and that means you are equal. He isn’t superior to you and you are not inferior to him. It is a partnership, a mutual one.

The failure to understand this concept has lead many to feel that the person who employs them has some kind of power over their lives and that isn’t true. The people who operate from such mental states never get pay raises because the employer exploits them. They also lose their self-esteem because they think that someone has done them a great favor, these kinds of people go through live living life for other people and not themselves. Nothing ever comes to a person who does not know how to value self, a person who always waits for others to decide for him because he thinks they have a right over his life.

That kind of mentality shows weakness of character and when a person is in such a frame of mind they will find that a lot of what should have come to them is given to those who know their worth. The same applies in a relationship; never base a relationship on gratitude. Many feel that they can’t compete for a mate so they get so grateful when a man happens to show an interest and they become subservient in gratefulness. They fail to realize that they are attractive in their own way and that that man was attracted to them and that means they have an upper hand, they can decide to be in that relationship or not. But because they are not aware of this they are so grateful they worship the ground of the woman who said yes to them regardless of other traits in that person that they might not like.

Concentrate on building your self confidence

Find your voice and speak and never let another person decide for you. You are just as free as the next person; never feel inferior to the point of slavery. Many will take you for granted and never realize your real worth except in relation to exploitation. It is your responsibility to get comfortable with yourself and grow confident so that people never gain an advantage over you. The world likes to deal with people who know their worth, people who know what they want. It is not a place for self pity ad low self esteem, no one will ever have the time to sit with you and try to be fair to you, they will grab what they can out of you and all the while making you think you are Godsend.

Take that time to analyze yourself and be ready to root out characteristics that won’t serve you well. This will help you never to stay in a toxic relationship and it will also help you to move on in situations that you feel aren’t working well for you. Confidence helps you to do that, but those with a low self-esteem would be so grateful that the thought of leaving is brushed out of their minds. They endure abusive relationships because they feel that all the man out there don’t want them and at least they have a man, so they hang on. You need to get to place where you know that the world is full of man, great man and you can have a pick of any man you want. Never lower yourself in your own estimation and see things that other people aren’t seeing when you do so they too will start seeing you and evaluating you the way you evaluate yourself. When you see the right things in you and say those things then you will start to hear them repeat the very things you said to yourself to you. That is the way it works.

Regulate your feelings to get the best out of life at all times

Feelings have a lot to do with the environment you create and because you attract through your thoughts it is always important for you to guard how you think and what you do say to yourself and about yourself. You are not another person’s slave; you are an intelligent person full of creative abilities that are always begging to be expressed. You don’t know all this so you continually wish you had someone else’s life. It is really simple get to work on your self and things will start to change.

You have to remember and know that your opinion matters, and that your voice counts and that you matter a lot else no one would have employed you. Also remember to never let another person look down on you and your ability and you have every right to stand up for yourself. Say what you want, voice it and hear your own voice saying it, don’t let others speak for you or decide for you. That’s how you build your confidence.

It doesn’t matter who shares your opinion about you or who doesn’t, it isn’t a contest; it is about what you think and what you want. Have a mind of your own and start making your independent decisions. Learn to love you and learn to listen to your heart; it’s very easy to let others rule your life for you and it is also easy for them to walk out on you once their purpose has been accomplished. Never be a doormat, and never allow any men to take advantage of you. This isn’t to say you can’t be kind or charitable it just means that you learn to differentiate between the two and be strong enough to eliminate the ones that are not building you up.

Always make sure you live from a point of self assurance

The person who is confident of self will always attract recognition and respect but the one who doesn’t only receives contempt and exploitation. The voice inside you longs to be heard, it longs to express itself. Let it out and let it say what has been bottled inside for so long, let the voice tell you what it feels and it share with you its joys and desires, let that voice know that it is a voice that does count and that it is worthy to be heard by the whole world starting with your ears. Never silence it that is how those who get things working for them go about it I the world. Never let circumstances still that voice that always seeks self-expression.

Many times how you grew up may have contributed to the overall imagine of self-pity and a low self-confidence. Some people decide to be enslaved out of gratitude, never realizing that they are free to do as they please. They remain servants for life because they don’t understand that they are equal to the person who has decided to help them in a situation. Once the help is meted all they need do is honor the person for rendering it and not see that person as a god. There is nothing wrong in being respectful to a person who steps in to lift you up, but it doesn’t mean your life now belongs to that person.

It doesn’t matter how long you have wallowed in self pity what does count is that you have the power to come out of that limiting perception. The decision to do so is the first step, many people might object when you walk out of your shell, but don’t mind them. Start living your life the way you were meant to, the way you want and not the way the other person dictates. Never allow yourself to feel guilt along the process, you don’t anyone anything but you do owe yourself the right to live a fulfilled life. Don’t give up; keep onto it until you ooze confidence with every step you take and in your voice. This does not mean that you be rude, it only says you must speak for yourself, that is all. That is the way you get to change your feelings and emotions that are responsible for the events and situations that do come to you. Keep thinking well of yourself.

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    • Luis G Asuncion profile image

      Luis G Asuncion 

      4 months ago from City of San Jose Del Monte, Bulacan, Philippines

      You're welcome Charity.

    • charity mtisi profile imageAUTHOR

      charity mtisi 

      4 months ago from Johannesburg

      Thank you so much Luis. Glad you enjoyed it!

    • Luis G Asuncion profile image

      Luis G Asuncion 

      4 months ago from City of San Jose Del Monte, Bulacan, Philippines

      Wow, a nice article that I've read. Thanks for sharing it. Stay safe always.

    • charity mtisi profile imageAUTHOR

      charity mtisi 

      4 months ago from Johannesburg

      Thank you Manatita, will seriously consider the role of motivation , as long as it makes someone get up and get going.

      Bless your heart

    • manatita44 profile image

      manatita44 

      4 months ago from london

      A lot of golden nuggets here. No wonder you are smiling. We need all this info and yes, I like hpow you say that some don't seem to know their worth. Constant reminders are necessary. Part of the struggle, I suppose.

      A pretty useful article. It reminded me of life-coaches and motivators. Perhaps you should become one. Hari Om!

    • charity mtisi profile imageAUTHOR

      charity mtisi 

      4 months ago from Johannesburg

      Thank you Lynne, i am glad that the article has helped you in some way.

      Bless you

    • lynnes75 profile image

      Lynne Samuel 

      4 months ago from Malaysia

      Very insightful and highly inspiring. I like reading it, just at this time when I need another boost in self confidence. Thank you for that.

    • Miebakagh57 profile image

      Miebakagh Fiberesima 

      11 months ago from Port Harcourt, Rivers State, NIGERIA.

      Hi, Farrah, it is well appreciated. Thank you.

    • charity mtisi profile imageAUTHOR

      charity mtisi 

      11 months ago from Johannesburg

      Thank you so much Ms Dora. Icould do with a little help on the photo side. pleased to know you liked the article.

    • charity mtisi profile imageAUTHOR

      charity mtisi 

      11 months ago from Johannesburg

      Hi Miebakagh thank you for passing by, glad you liked the article.

    • Miebakagh57 profile image

      Miebakagh Fiberesima 

      11 months ago from Port Harcourt, Rivers State, NIGERIA.

      Hi, Farrah,this is informative and eye opening. Thanks.

    • MsDora profile image

      Dora Weithers 

      11 months ago from The Caribbean

      Lots of food for thought in this article. This is the kind of motivation we cannot get too often.

      Pleased to see the subtitles. Now for the photos. HP recommends at least three per article. Do you need some help with that? Love your work. Want to see you get the most out of your writing experience here.

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