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How to Cope with Feelings of Insecurity

Updated on November 10, 2017
Karin Steyn profile image

Karin Steyn is a teacher with an Honors Degree in Teaching and Learning. She motivates and inspires teenagers every day.

In life we tend to wear masks, hiding our true identity from others. One of the reasons we do this is because we feel insecure.

There are many different feelings of insecurity. Most of these feelings are locked up in some form of fear. Many people have the fear of:

  • making mistakes; they want to be perfect all the time in the company of others.
  • failing; they cannot accept failure and hate those who manage to succeed.
  • people; they are always worried about meeting new people and constantly worry what others think of them; they worry about being unpopular and unloved.
  • being criticised; nobody likes criticism.

It is important to remember that we’re all imperfect people living in an imperfect world. Everyone has some kind of burden that they carry with them through life. Feeling insecure can also be seen as a burden and it’s probably a normal feeling, depending on our circumstances. There will always be times when we feel insecure about something or someone. Feelings of insecurity are said to be part of growing up, but they never really disappear. The challenge for us is to learn how to cope with these feelings.

How can we cope with feelings of insecurity?

  1. We need to learn to accept ourselves as we are. We are unique and should not be afraid to be different.

  2. It’s important that we are patient with ourselves. We need to recognize our strengths and weaknesses. We can spend time enhancing our strengths and correcting our weaknesses. This will give us confidence.

  3. Making unfair comparisons and feeling jealous of others should be avoided. We always think the grass is greener on the other side or that other people are better off than we are. No-one has a life free from suffering. With the right attitude, we can be happy. Life is what we make of it.

  4. We should take criticism in stride and learn not to wallow in self-pity and negativity. There’s always room for improvement in our lives, but we should not allow imperfect people with imperfect opinions or words of criticism to control how we think or feel.

  5. It’s good to reach out and help others. People are people and everyone suffers some kind of problem. Our support can make a great difference in their lives, which will also give us a sense of satisfaction and happiness.

We can’t be positive all the time. There will be days when we really struggle to cope with our feelings of insecurity. The key to success is to allow it, but to get up and move forward as soon as possible.


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