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No stranger to losing loved ones.

Updated on March 20, 2011

Author W. K. Hayes

Loss of loved ones, living or in death

Until now, I have been writing my post using a word processing program. What I did not know is that Hubpages has a scoring system that might think I was copying and pasting from other sites versus writing my own content. Trust me, I have plenty to say about everything and definitely do not need to leech off someone else.

Originally, I was thinking about writing a blog about making a free website on how to go about getting the best results but then, something I wrote earlier reminded me of my mom, might she rest in peace.

Seven and half years ago, she passed away in the middle of summer. Truly, that was the hardest year of my life with this past year taking a close second. In a matter of months, I had learned that she was dying, separated from my wife for stealing $6,000 and my sons. Needless to say, I was having a really bad year.

When my federal taxes were due in, I told her I wanted to prepay for a round-trip ticket to spend a week with my mom, who had less than six months left to live. Every time I asked her if the taxes had come in, she told me, "Not yet". This went on for several weeks until one day she admitted that they had come in a few weeks earlier. I sat her down and warned her that if my state taxes came in, I had better have a ticket in my hand. She stole those as well with the same set of lies. I ended up taking an out-of-state job in Ohio to make the money to propel myself on the North Carolina where my mother was living at the time. While I was out working, I got the call that mom was in the hospital dying. Do you know my ex had the nerve to say she wanted to fly there to be with me? I told her she was not welcomed. Therefore, she took the kids and disappeared.

That's the very short of the matter, I promise you but ultimately, I quickly found myself without my mom, whom I love greatly and my children that, makes my very heart, beat. I was fairly, homeless and had no idea where life was going to take me next. By the time, mom's funeral came about, I could not cry. Not even the first tear fell from my face. I was so angry and bitter at the world that I really wanted to die. Still suicide was not the answer nor will it ever be. I know that killing myself won't help anything although, I still retain my bitterness towards my ex for what she stole from me: time with my mother, my children and $6,000.

The point I am making is that I am very familiar with the loss of loved ones. My dad passed away two years did not even realize it until just now. Today marks the anniversary of his death at the time I am writing this. is going to be a long day.

Anyway, you will not stop grieving over the loss of a loved one. No, it does not get any easier over time. I have always detested that lie. Instead, you will learn to cope with losing a loved one. You'll find ways to make yourself busy. You will spend more time trying to find someone to help keep your mind off the one, or ones you have lost. Staying busy by focusing on the ones still in your life is the best way to deal with the loss of a loved one.

Do not trouble yourself worrying about the things you wish you could have said or done. I really wish I could have cooked for my mom or read the Bible with her, one more time but that was, taken from me and I can never get it back. It is okay time; I have learned that harboring on the past will only destroy the future. Will I ever forgive my ex...never. I have tried so many times but I never will be able to fully, forgive her for what she has done.

At this moment, I do offer my sincerest condolences to you. I figure you would not be here reading this if you were getting ready to go to a party. If you need me to talk to, leave a comment to reach me and I will get back in touch with you ASAP. Thank you for reading my article and hang in will never be alone so long as I am alive.



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    • vocalcoach profile image

      Audrey Hunt 6 years ago from Nashville Tn.

      W. K. - Pain, anger, remorse, guilt, loneliness and more.

      I continue to wrestle with one emotion, than another. And when I laugh or enjoy a spurt of happiness, there is a feeling of guilt. Four yrs now. It has been 4 yrs since cancer took my beautiful feels like yesterday. You are absolutely right. Time does not heal. No way!

      You have been through some terrible, life-changing times and I hurt for you. You show strength in writing about these terrible times. It is my hope that many others will read your storie. It will help.

      Most of all, thank you dear hub brother for your offer to "be there" for the rest of us. You are a beautiful blessing!

    • W. K. Hayes profile image

      Warren Keith Hayes 6 years ago from Bryson City, North Carolina

      Thank you Karen...My words are always meant to speak directly to the reader and that is truly one of the best compliments I have received on Hubpages to date.

      The loss of loved ones is harder and sadly, more frequent as we get older. I have lost all of my Grand Parents plus my mom and dad and the picture you see, that was taken last year...I'm not that old. I cannot help but wonder why is everyone gone while i'm still getting surprised if I even find a grey hair, ya know?

    • Karen Wilton profile image

      Karen Wilton 6 years ago from Australia

      Thank you for writing this heartfelt article and sharing your hard times with the world. I'm sure others who read this will feel as I have that you are talking directly to me.

      No, I'm not getting ready to go to a party but I know the world keeps moving. Time does not heal the pain of grief but it does teach us how to get through another day living with loss.