How to get fat and get there quickly!
Gain fat now!
A lot of people have been asking me how to gain weight recently. It seems that people are sick and tired of being healthy. So, here goes:
1. Skip eating a breakfast. By doing this you keep your metabolic rates low.
2. Exercise with an empty belly. If your body has no food your thermostats get turned down even lower to conserve fuel.
3. Directly after you eat you need to nap right away. Sleep as long as you can after eating as much food as you can. Rinse and repeat.
4. Eat as late as you can in the day. Going to bed with a full stomach is a sure fire way to gain weight. This way your body stores the food as fat. Fat and more fat.
5. If at all possible you should eat amongst friends. Researches have proven that we eat about 40% more food and about 25% more calories.
Lesson: If you're interested in getting fat (not just gaining weight) the key is to do less, eat more with friends and sleep a ton afterwards.