How I Got Rid of Low Self Esteem
“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”— Eleanor Roosevelt
My whole life I have suffered from low self-esteem. You'll ask why "suffered" as if low self-esteem is some disease but the truth is that it is no less than sickness- at least in my case. I lack confidence in doing everything that goes somewhere out of my comfort zone. I can't seem to figure out what it is I actually fear of? Is it the consequence of my action which I almost think as a failure or what will people think about me based on my results? I used to consider my personality a weak - perhaps that is the main reason that I always remain in my shell in all walks of life whether its personal, academic, career or general outlook. I already decided that since I am a weak personality, why would I challenge myself, gets fail and make a mockery out of me. Yeah! I know you must be thinking that before even attempting I am giving up. But that's how I used to be- a low confidence, self-esteemed, coward and naive girl.
The turning point of my life came when my mother was diagnosed with cancer and in between my father was also got sick and bedridden for almost 6 months. In this negative kind of circumstances, I was alone as my brother used to live abroad due to his job. In this 2 years of my parent's treatment, I am the one who took care of A-Z of home whether it's their well-being, hospital follow-up, household chores or shopping groceries. You name it and I have done it all. As much as I hate those times, but it really helped me to shape my personality. The first which I understood about myself is that I am an emotionally strong person who can stand strong in lowest of life.
In my personal life, I am feeling strong and confident but now its turn of my career which itself a big question mark. I was never a career oriented or in proper words an ambitious person who wants to anything much in professional front. The life I perceived before going outside world is a simple that consist of education, marriage, and family. There is not much room for career or a need to earn money. Here also my low confident self-plays the part as I was around very ambitious women and young girls who want to do so much in their life. I was the one who never has any proper goal, talent or dreams to even initiate a career. It was frustrating because somewhere my blank resume screaming that I am not enough to face this world.
With a Literature degree in hands, I still don't know which profession I want to pursue. One of the obvious choices was teaching, my parents and family friends were also suggesting the same not because I am a good teacher but it is a safe and noble profession, as well as I, have various International English medium school nearby my house. As I was on a challenging spree- instead of choosing SAFE I went for the COMPETITIVE area and stepped into the rat-race of the corporate sector. Initially, the thought was only to have experience in my portfolio but gradually I started to like this corporate work culture my work. I have my fair share of struggle to understand the system and people. But it is this struggle that made me what I am today. I strong, confident yet grounded and career oriented lady. I love my job and more importantly, I love earning money and don't like to depend on anybody.
Hence, it is the two phases of life-personal and professional- combined that played out the biggest motivator in my personality. Not that I don't have my weak points or vulnerabilities or I have to be Iron lady in every situation but now I don't sit and wait for something to happen or somebody to help. In fact, I take the responsibility and work through the situation. If I pass its an accomplishment if I fail its a learning.
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