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How to heal a hurt heart

Updated on October 26, 2011

Heal a wide range of pain

Now that you have begun to read this article, I want you to know that titles that could have done just as well (sincerely) are:

How to handle bad news

How to handle your anger

How to forgive more easily

How to heal a broken heart

How to feel better when you feel so bad

How to heal a jealous heart.

How to Bring Peace to Your Soul

Et al

Your possible responses:

Does this writer have any respect for my trauma? Is she trying to say there is one universal panacea for pain?

Far from being light-hearted, I promote a simple, tried and tested, effective exercise that works across a range of pain.

Here is an analogy. If someone told you there was a key ingredient used not only in Thai cuisine but also in Jamaican, West African, Turkish and North American fare, you might have some interest in confirming what it is.So let’s summarise. The common subject of this analogy? Food. And the common key ingredient ? Salt.

Now what do all the titles above have in common? Negative feelings of the heart. Some may be stronger , some more destructive than others, but all the feelings are bad.

In the next few paragraphs you will receive one of the most useful strategies for ridding yourself of pain beyond the physical. You may even need to use these instructions to fix some heart pain soon, however low-level or high-level it may be.

I give full credit to God and Merlin Carothers for the wisdom that Merlin has shared with millions of people. I learnt this strategy from Merlin and have used it to overcome all sad, bad, crazy challenges that have come my way.



Step one.

Look squarely at the hurt you are feeling

Step Two

Try to put words to how you are feeling. Don’t shy away out of good manners from looking into the window of your heart. Do you feel betrayed, humiliated, insulted? Accused? Dirty? Used? Helpless? Bullied?

Step Three.

Talk to God ASAP. Go to the nearest rest room if you have to. This is it. Begin to thank Him for how you feel. Put everything in words.Thank Him and praise Him.

Say it like this sample blow:

Father, (eerm, it will help if He is your Father, not just creator. If you are not sure that He is, He likely isn’t. Take steps toward fixing that here)

Thank you that I feel so furious, thank you for the plain insult that I feel was delivered to me. Thank you that X was so rude. Thank you for the additional disgrace of everyone being there when X was being insulting. Thank you that I feel like hurting X right back and I can think of exactly what to say that would do the job. Thank you that right now I would feel great if X had a great fall. Thank you for the pain. I praise you for the pain. Thank you for the pain. Thank you for the pain...

And this is pretty much the vein it continues in.

Thank for everything about that mess. Thank for everyone involved that you are feeling dark, hateful feelings toward at the time, for what they have done.

Don’t stop thanking and praising.

As you keep at it, (some phrases will be repeated more than others because that may be the particular area where there is still a lot of pain) you will notice peace wash in and the pain or anger melt away.


How long does the exercise last?

How long does the exercise last? Sometimes a minute. Sometimes up to 10 minutes. In some cases where there is serious loss, the exercise may lead to emotional release and prayer that flows naturally for any amount of time. No one is counting. It’s all therapy and with God you can take as long as you need to.

For a deep hurt, some of us have had to repeat the exercise every time memory throws up the salient hurt points. This usually happens while the incident is still fresh. So over a few days, in those circumstances, I have Thank sessions.

One of the keys to successful results is to respond with the thanking immediately the negative feeling shows up as a flash, flush, memory, knot, burning or whatever.


The benefits include the following:

You will grow in tensile strength of heart.

You will be happier, so you will be healthier.

You will not bear resentment towards others which affects your health anyway.

You will face subsequent challenges with more equanimity over time; in some cases, you may just respond by thinking your thanks straight away and the issue is quickly reduced to nothing.

Why does it work and is this Biblical?

God is not the author of pain so why thank Him? Because by thanking Him for how I feel, I am acknowledging Him as the one is over my feelings and all that led to them.For more on this amazing healing technique read Merlin Carothers' books on praise and ensure you do not leave out the title Bringing Heaven into Hell.

Your life will never be the same again.

Photo credits

Thanks to the following for their great pictures:

Pain relief by vvvracer

Pain by B.Riordan.

Thorns by DB-2

Cold War Clock by ckaiserca


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    • akune profile image

      akune 6 years ago from Surrey, England, United Kingdom

      Thanks Good Lady. Its great to know how to walk 'light' instead of heavy. Blessed Christmas to you and yours.

    • GoodLady profile image

      Penelope Hart 6 years ago from Rome, Italy

      Beautifully written! And true. I wrote a Hub about getting over the fear of cancer coming back and most of the way I dealt with it follows the Steps you suggest here.

      Saying prayers does work miracles on the spirit.

      The important thing for me is to remember saying them, much more often.


      Best wishes for Christmas.

    • Escobana profile image

      Escobana 6 years ago from Valencia

      It's been a long time since I said a prayer and when I did, I said thanks to so many simple things.

      Reading your Hub made me want to say a prayer again. Knowing about the importance of embracing it all. The good and the bad.

      Loved your Hub and have to hug you back again! Thanks for your respond to my newest Hub:-) Voted up, beautiful, awesome and useful!

    • Danette Watt profile image

      Danette Watt 6 years ago from Illinois

      Identifying our feelings is often a difficult step for a lot of people. Often when we think we are experiencing anger, it might be really hurt we are feeling masked by anger. Or shame might be involved.

      I'm not a Biblical/ religious person but this is nicely written.

    • akune profile image

      akune 6 years ago from Surrey, England, United Kingdom

      Thanks Lady E for your comment. Last week my son and I had to thank our way out of a situation where he felt mistreated by an adult at school.That son is cool, unemotional and never had peer or other issues. Before writing and reporting fairly , thanking the humiliation away brought closure.

    • Lady_E profile image

      Elena 6 years ago from London, UK

      This is lovely and inspiring.

      A great, practical tool for people.


    • Stolive profile image

      Stolive 6 years ago from Botswana

      Great and practical advises based on biblical teachings.

      "Sacrifice thank offerings to God, fulfill your vows to the Most High, and call on me in the day of trouble..."-Psalm 50:14. Adding to this,"Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you.."-Matt 50:44, would fasten the result.

      "Follow peace with all men, and holiness, without which no man shall see the Lord:

      Looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled."-Heb 12:14-15.

      Thanks a lot, Akune.

      Please, keep up the good work. God bless you!

    • akune profile image

      akune 6 years ago from Surrey, England, United Kingdom

      Indeed, Unique V and it is such a relief to express exactly how you feel.

    • UniqueVanities profile image

      Heather 6 years ago from Ohio

      This is interesting.... never thought of thanking Him for the things I am angry about. But sometimes, when I am, I don't have anyone to share it with; so perhaps sharing it with the big guy upstairs would be a start :)