How to hug, when to hug, who to hug and should you hug?
Now I figure this guy was always huggable.
Hugging is perfectly natural. Moms hug babies. Dads and moms hug.
If hugging is all that good why should we have guidance in how to hug? Good question. Have you ever been hugged and did not like it? Well I have. Have you ever hugged and realized you should not have? Well I have. How to hug, really sums up the other concepts of who to hug, when to hug and should you hug.
Believe it or not there are some people who just should not hug anyone. What? you ask. Sorry but true. If you have the flu you have no business hugging anyone. If you are filthy dirty and smelly and sweaty hugging just is not for you. Perhaps if you are a 6.6 ft 250 lb really strong teenager you should not go around hugging -- until you get those big old muscles under some delicate control.
So the How to hug, when to hug, who to hug and even why to hug are covered in some examples. But I hope you reflect also and get a chuckle out of, shall we say awkward hugs.
Do you hug right? hihihi - like there are rules!
Do you like to hug when it is right
Here are two hugs I wish I could take back.
My wife and I were all dressed up and she looked stunning as we walked up to meet My friend and his new gal that I introduced him to. From afar she just looked beautiful like an actress or model. But as we got closer she became more stunning. Kind of like our current Ms. America.
She and I had been through some really tough stuff of hers as she was a former client. My wife knew her but had never met her. Of course we hugged each warmly as we met. Dang I wish I had not done that. It shot a cold chill through my wife that I regret. First this gal that I had talked about was no ordinary gal and then I hugged her. My wife's mind went reeling. Ooops.
As a preacher and teacher and coach I have taught many girls from age little to "off to college".
Well about her senior year my daughter came visiting from college and came to my church to hear me preach and brought little Marin with her who I coached and taught and had not seen for 8 years. When I saw her she me we gave a long embracing hug in the entry to the church. Trouble was that while I just saw little Marin whose tears I had dried and scraped knees I had bandaged in front of me. She was a knock down beautiful young woman dressed provocatively Ooops. Oh the little blued haired ladies were all a buzz. It took Marin's great singing and Christian charm at at a lunch afterwards to calm things down. Of course her labeling me as her second father growing up helped some too.
So men be thoughtful about who, when and how to hug.
If I met Clapton I would hug him
If you walk up to someone you want to hug -- assess
My mom would get all dressed up for a party that I would be escorting her too. I would drop by and give her a great big hug --- only once did I do that. Wrinkled dress displaced make up and a little to strong of a hug as women all dressed up are more fragile. Thanks mom for teaching me that lesson.
There is my little 3 year old nephew all looking grand and holding my sisters hand. He knows me well but he is in a mommy phase and there are others who are strangers around. I bend down quickly and pick him up for a big old uncle hug. Ooops That was the last thing the little tyke wanted at that moment. Separation from mom and being picked up and then hugged. What was I thinking.
These guys and me, we hug too much!!
Mad and Sad
Evaluate these twin tigers carefully. If someone is really mad be thoughtful. Yes a hug can easily make them feel better. But have you ever been freshly mad and angry. Well truth is you do not want to feel better, immediately and from what I understand you should not. You should stew in it for a bit and let it fully cook before you devour it and move on. This is not the person or the time for a hug. This is when you say "hey babe you know I am here for you, you want to vent or a big hug? just let me know - I love you". Sometimes the offer and the timing are far better than a hug.
Sad. You would think that hugging a sad person would always be alright. Wrong. Parts of our grieving process require that we have our space even in a crowded place. Always remember that the hug is an entry into a protected space. Permission must be obtained before entry. Of course wide open arms upon your approach is an invitation, that should not be ignored. It is never wrong to hug someone who asks for it. But as shown above it might be the wrong time and place.
Same sex hugs for heterosexuals. Hugs for your child
Yes I have to address this it is wrong, very wrong not to hug because of some latent homophobia. I do not think I have ever met one of my brothers or sons socially without a hug. And I would say the same for most friends. Football and basketball and baseball and soccer players and firefighters and policemen and soldiers hug. Don't get be wrong I like chest butts, and slugs as much as any guy but hugs are cool
If you scold your child and he cries. Believe it or not a hug is in order. Keep the language of instruction going but hug and let them know that no matter what they are safe and secure with you and that you love them and they are not bad but what they did is bad. Kids are sensitive. Most the time I just give my son a dirty look and he stops bad behavior. And that definitely deserves a good hug as reward.
I was born to hug.
Now make sure you hug somebody today. Somebody needs it. I know I do.
Life is good we need to live it and hugging and warm fuzzies are an important part of that loving of life. Now go hug -- hey you can even hug yourself. And you can hug on the phone and you can hug on the net.
Here is the official sign for hugs and kisses.
XOXOXOXO I think the X is a Kiss and the O is a hug.
Embrace this please.
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