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How to stand up to a work place bully

Updated on November 26, 2012

Stand up for yourself!

If you are a victim of bullying, chances are you are a person who avoids confrontation. To those who don't like confrontation, that's completely understandable as confrontation in a negative situation can really get the nerves going, but it really is necessary in order stand up for yourself.

But don't freak out if confrontation freaks you out, there are tactics you can employ to prevent a touchy situation from blowing up like Pammy's chest. To most effectively get your point across to the bully, and to keep the confrontation as civil as possible, follow these 3 rules;

Don't curse

Don't raise your voice

Be honest

The way that you conduct yourself is a reflection to others of what you consider to be acceptable behavior. Therefore, people will treat you how ever you allow them to treat you, how you treat yourself sets the grounds for the way others may respond to you personally.

That is why during a confrontation, it is in your best interests not to curse, not to raise your voice, and to be honest. Remember, the way that you behave is how you are seen.

Realize that you as an individual are worthy of respect, and you must respect yourself in order to be respected by others. Although you must understand that there are certain people who you simply cannot get through to no matter how hard you try. But if a certain person is really negatively effecting your life and self esteem, it's always worth a try to sort things out with them.

Before you attempt to stand up to your bully, make sure that you are very clear in your own mind on what it is that the bully does that upsets you, and the way in which the bullying effects you negatively. Once you are very clear on your thoughts and feelings about the situation concerning the bully, pick your time.

You will want to chose your timing wisely, the ideal time being when the bully is alone, not busy, and seemingly in a 'good mood'.

Upon approaching your bully, assertively tell them that you would like to have a serious personal conversation with them, and confirm a time whether it's then and there, tomorrow, what ever.

When the time has come to stand up for yourself against the bully, start by telling them how you feel in your position in the workplace. Do you feel anxious? nervous? Like your walking on egg shells? Then follow up your expressions by stating the causes, beginning with because. IE: "Sometimes i really dread coming to work for the day as i feel quite nervous in the workplace, and i'm not always happy in working here, because i feel as if my opinions are not respected, i feel sometimes that you try to patronize me, and i don't understand why?"

Keep your statement short and sweet and end it in the question as to why the bully does the things that he or she does to demean you. Most people will respect you for being straight-up.

Whether the bully responds to you with remorse, defensively, or with confusion, is anyone's guess. You can only control your own responses, so be prepared for anything and stand by what you say.

In taking this approach, you are doing the best that you can to deal with the situation directly and responsibly. So hopefully your bully is compassionate enough for you to have some success in your confrontation.

If you are unsuccessful, you could consider expressing your feelings to someone higher up in the company, or suggest a mediation. Or your last option would be to look for another job.

As unfair as it may be to have to find another job because of a workplace bully, when you are out of options in resolving the issues, moving on is the best thing that you can do for yourself.

Remaining in a negative situation may effect your mental and emotional health, and it's simply not worth it!


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    • chaturrajneesh profile image

      Rajneesh Chaturvedi 

      6 years ago from India

      A very good and informative hub.Voting it up!!!

    • mjboomer profile image

      Mike Elzner 

      6 years ago from Oregon

      Great points, I have found that standing up for yourself is a good approach.....

    • billybuc profile image

      Bill Holland 

      6 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Good job, excellent points and welcome to HubPages!

    • Learningcurve101 profile imageAUTHOR


      6 years ago

      Thanks, i agree!

    • articlesocean profile image

      Saira Sheikh 

      6 years ago from London, United Kingdom

      This is good hub. I think that its best to avoid people who bully or have attitude because they are simply not worth giving attention to or complaining. They just haven't grown up enough to even start working in the working world. Like your hub!


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