How to Survive a Gassy, Bloated, Farting Pregnant Wife
Pregnancy and Farting
Oh, man! Have you ever smelled fart of a pregnant woman? Horrible! A pound of rotten eggs smells far better than the smell of a pregnant woman. It stinks so much!
How to Avoid the Horrible Smell?
1. Don't hide your fart: Guys, you should tell your wife not to cover up the fart with blanket or clothes. She may be doing it because she is embarrassed, but when she hides it (and later opens it), it smells so bad. If she had farted into the open, it would have dissipated so much more easily.
2. Avoid gassy foods (read about this below).
Interesting Facts about Farting
- Nitrogen and carbon dioxide are the main components of the gas released in a fart.
- Methane and hydrogen are also present.
- Farts containing enough methane and hydrogen can be ignited (if someone ignites a lighter when you fart, it can start a fire, and you will have to call the fire department).
- Sulfur-containing compounds such as methanethiol, hydrogen sulfide (that provide that rotten egg smell), and dimethyl sulfide are the reason for the fragrance (hee hee hee) of the fart.
The Science of Farts?
Quite simple! Yeast fermentation. Yes, its that same process that helps to produce alcohol, wine, bread, and cheese. Farting is caused by yeast fermentation (bacteria fermentation, too) of undigested food in the gastrointestinal tract.
In pregnant women, farting is caused by pregnancy hormones like relaxin and progesterone that relax muscles in the body. They make food move more slowly through the gastrointestinal track (good for baby) and that causes farting. If you are pregnant and your husband complains that you stink, be happy. Farting is good for the baby.
Foods That Can Cause Gas
3. dairy products
11. sweet potatoes
14. Jerusalem artichokes
How to Reduce Farting During Pregnancy?
1. Minimize intake of the gassy foods described above.
2. Drink a lot of water.
3. Take smaller meals that don't overload your digestive system (try for six small meals rather than three big meals).
4. Eat slowly. When you eat fast, you swallow air that can form gas pockets in your belly.
Guys, if you wanna be a daddy, learn how to live with a farting wife. Ladies, if you are pregnant and farting, FART in STYLE. When you get that lovely angel in your arms, you both can think about those farting days and laugh. :-)
I wish you all a happy farting-pregnant-days!