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How do you understand the Narcissist in your life?

Updated on June 19, 2013

How to decipher Narcissistic Personality Disorder

Some believe Madonna is a Narcissist?
Some believe Madonna is a Narcissist?
Aspergers Syndrome and Narcissistic tendencies?
Aspergers Syndrome and Narcissistic tendencies?
Father Jack from Fr Ted Series a classic Narcissist?
Father Jack from Fr Ted Series a classic Narcissist?
Many historical Political leaders were Narcissisitc. Charming but can't tell fact from fiction.
Many historical Political leaders were Narcissisitc. Charming but can't tell fact from fiction.
Charming and gorgeous but not underneath.
Charming and gorgeous but not underneath.
How could I ever love someone as much as me?
How could I ever love someone as much as me?
Its a sin to be this good looking!
Its a sin to be this good looking!

Narcissistic personality Disorder unravelled

What does a person with Narcissistic Personality Disorder want from you and the world? Everything you have anyway to start with because they are superior to you, better than you and why should you be allowed to have any happiness when they are much more entitled to it?

The reason the Narcissist believes they deserve everything more than you do is because they see themselves as being are unique, infallible and therefore entitled to more success and emotional happiness than any an inferior being like you is worthy of.

Narcissists feed on others misfortune and in some instances they can almost act as if they like their inferiors provided they feel you are well below them in terms of material possessions, career achievements and relationship happiness.

Once a person with Narcissist Personality Disorder can safely condescend to you from their superior pedestal then they will be gracious and allow you to occupy their fabulously superior world but be warned if you then have the audacity to strive to be more successful than your Narcissistic sibling, friend or partner well then you will undoubtedly learn that hell hath never even seen fury like that of a Narcissist scorned.

The ideal world for a Narcissist is one where every source of Narcissistic supply loves them and adores them without question. They want their Narcissistic supply to see them as being the centre of the universe, the light of everyone’s life and unquestionably superior, grandiose and the best and most unique person that there ever was.

The person with Narcissistic Personality Disorder also thinks the world must obviously realize their brilliance, intelligence and extraordinary width. Of course the problem for the Narcissist begins when those people around them suddenly start to realize that the psychological abuse and lack of empathy from a Narcissist is actually starting to play havoc with their own mental health.

Normal human relations consist of give and take, you have to be prepared to have consideration for the other person and sometimes you have to concede to their needs in life. Overall a well-balanced relationship between two people is all about communicating with the other person and understanding things from their point of view.

The Narcissist of course is lost in this world. They know that they are simply always the most important person and they do not have any capacity to see a situation from anyone else’s point of view they are just not built that way.

From a very young age the person with Narcissism has learned that they have got to look after number one. The Narcissist has been conditioned to believe that they are better than everyone else. So naturally other people will want to adore them and should automatically know that their needs, desires and opinions are the only ones worth worrying about. Once the Narcissistic personality is formed they cannot change the way they are and they are therefore stuck in this frame of mind forever. However often teenagers can have Narcissistic traits but they may not be a fully fledged Narcissist. So with the right psychological help they can at least learn to bend a little when they reach adulthood.

Others observing Narcissism might say why didn’t they just stay silent and leave the other person alone? Or why did they have to voice their superior opinion and upset the applecart when they could have avoided that situation?

The answer is simple they cannot help themselves. They are totally lacking in any capacity to read another person’s emotions and as Narcissistic Personality Disorder can sometimes co-exist with Aspergers Syndrome, as may have been the case with screen icon Marilyn Monroe, then this added issue will compound the ability to read another person even more significantly. As far as the Narcissist is concerned they are the only one allowed to express how they feel everyone else around them is simply there to pander to their needs.

In the end few people can tolerate somebody like this in the longer term as it will eventually take a huge toll on their own mental health. Then the Narcissist is left feeling a severe injury when this person eventually cracks and for the sake of their own sanity they have to break free from the Narcissist.

The Narcissist will of course be affronted by this fallout but for them there can be no going back or apologizing because naturally it is always the other person who has all the problems not them. So therefore they will now cut all ties, move on and begin to try to entice a new source of Narcissistic supply to mould and manipulate. So be warned and don’t be that available person!

How to cope with a Narcissist

What is a Narcissist?

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    • thewritingowl profile image
      Author

      Mary Kelly Godley 4 years ago from Ireland

      Thanks Victoria Lynn for your comment. Its all only speculation now of course but Marilyn Monroe was definitely a very complicated lady who had many deep issues that many psychiatrists at the time couldn't ever really unravel. Borderline Personality Disorder has also been mentioned in relation to her. Sometimes a person with Aspergers can also have other conditions or disorders and it is often just not clear cut.

    • Victoria Lynn profile image

      Victoria Lynn 4 years ago from Arkansas, USA

      I enjoyed reading this. That's interesting about Marilyn Monroe. I didn't know she may have been narcissistic--or diagnosed with Asperger's. Neat hub.

    • thewritingowl profile image
      Author

      Mary Kelly Godley 5 years ago from Ireland

      Glad you enjoyed it. I reckon we all know a few Mr or Miss Pretentious unfortunately a lot of people dealing with them just don't realize there is a whole Personality Disorder devoted to the Narcissist.

    • Nell Rose profile image

      Nell Rose 5 years ago from England

      I was laughing as I read this, it reminded me of my friends husband! lol! we call him Mr Pretentious! interesting stuff, thanks, nell

    • thewritingowl profile image
      Author

      Mary Kelly Godley 5 years ago from Ireland

      Thanks I do my best!

    • profile image

      James Peters 5 years ago

      Very useful indeed! Enjoyed this very much.

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