Alternative Birth Method
So I wanted to give you moms-to-be an insight into something I stumbled upon quite accidentally. I am going to set it up though because usually when I just say it people look at me like I am nuts especially men. My first child was my starting out child. Poor and with no means to pay for the birthing ourselves we had a state funded birth. If you have ever dealt with the state of WA they practically hold your hand and take you to the birthing class. I guess it is cheaper if you can do it naturally with Lamaze which is highly suggested. My theory whatever gets it done is good enough for me. So we get to that beautiful moment and I have major complications and need a cesarean.
Your thinking the story is over because there is some minimal number of women who have a traditional birth after a cesarean birth. Well I would be that minimal number twice. For one thing I hated being out of it and I think in the back of my mind coming out of that surgery all I wanted was to meet my child. I mean lets face it I've been waiting forever and with the first one 10 months does feel like forever. My second child we are a little better off. We go back to Lamaze and I'm gung ho to try it naturally. The child takes 21 hours to come out. There is nothing natural about any part of this birth. I have a friend who has a child one day older than my first child and it is her birthday and she is turning 21 and wants to celebrate in Canada. As the pregnant one about 7 days from my due date I am the designated driver. Fine with me because I am defiantly sure nothing is going to happen. So three hours into the party my labor starts. I'm pretty good at hiding it till we all get safely home, but then I go to the hospital and find out that yes I am in labor. The problem is while the child may be ready I am not so between us we have this tug of war and the nurse is impatient so she keeps upping the pitocin which makes the labor worse and then I need the epidural. My child takes a nap so I take a nap and this is just one big roller coaster ride. I lovingly call this child my all in good time child. This child has to come to it on their own, but they usually get there and they'll have fun doing it even if I'm not.
My third child is my surprise baby because I thought I was done. This time we are doing okay. And I have had too much time to think about all the things in my middle child's birth that I would do differently. There are some people who swear that Lamaze is the best thing that ever happened to birthing. I happen to wonder what ticket to the party they got. I also notice that when you are talking to people they never ever suggest altenative methods. There are alternative methods to birthing and I encourage you to explore them all. One that I would not discard lightly is hypnobirthing because I found it to be a lifesaver in a dark tunnel. My husband was a soldier so I was starting out with no husband for the delivery. I was sick because my gall bladder was failing and no one knew it. It was a rough pregnancy.
Hypnobirthing was not covered by our insurance so we paid the 1000+ dollars out of pocket and it was the best money I have ever spent. I went to 6 weeks worth of classes. And there were 4 families including myself so we had a lot of individual attention. There is a book that you get in the class and I still have mine because there were things I took away from the class to help me deal with everyday life. The book is blue covered, HypnoBirthing: A Celebration of Life. The fundamentals of a good hypnobirthing are positive attitude, relaxation, and yes there is homework.
The whole time we went we focused on this birth and not what happened in the past. We told anyone who had a negative comment that they were unable to speak to me about it. That was really hard for some people in my family. But the muzzle went into effect. I even got a button from the class that said "positive stories only my baby is listening". You would be surprised how negative we can be, even me, about something that is absolutely the most amazing thing we can ever do. Having this child exceeded all my expectations so this is a positive story. Everything that could go wrong as far as no coaches, no bag, no tape all of these things happened and I am telling you this was still the best experience. i had a baby 4.5 hours later and to think I started out the afternoon with I am not in labor.
Relaxation: there are a number of techniques that you get walked through. In my mind my favorites were the rainbow of skittles. This is where your partner takes you through the rainbow on tape and you visualize yourself being those colors them moving through your body and basically moving the birthing with them out of your body. You listen to this tape every night and it helps you relax. Half way through I fell asleep because it was so soothing which is the point. And the baby listens too so when you hear it in birth you are both relaxed. By the time I went into the hospital I had it memorized so I basically told it to myself and repeated the mantra's which is why you should listen to it atleast once a day. The other is the stroking of your arm between your elbow and wrist. This releases endorphin's and endorphin's are helpful in dealing with any tension you feel. I also had a darkened room, candles, and lavender in my birthing.
The homework was reading your book and following the exercises they gave you to do in it. I remember I took it all very serious at the time and did it and it did make me feel like I had a bag of tricks. But what I really remember most is that I was worried that things would be like before. Our person did a free hypnotic session for you and your partner and basically any fears you had she would wipe out like if you were scared of spiders. This is actually hilarious because I did mine on the day I went into labor. It ended up being too chaotic because I had to bring my middle child because there was no school that day and the child played loudly so we agreed to deal with my birthing fear and to reschedule my other fear later.
I took my kids for haircuts and while they were getting haircuts I was planning PTA posters for an event when I went into labor. It was so minimal I thought it was Braxton Hicks. I would have driven 25 miles home had my hairdresser not insisted she thought I was in labor. I was by the way 2 minutes apart at this point, full on denial, and actually told the doctor it was a waste of time to go to the hospital to have the baby because it did not feel like labor.
My doctor asked me to check in, so I drove the 5 minutes to the hospital and checked in. I was dialated to three centimeters. Between coordinating pick up of my kids who are now in the lobby with no supervision, trying to find my birthing partner, and get settled with none of my delivery items I was still thinking I'm not having this kid. This is a joke. No joke I had her within 4 hours and it was the most delightful birth. I had my dark room, my labor progressed on its own with no help and I had memorized the tape so I just went through my skittles in my head. My birthing partner arrived 30 minutes before I began pushing and my hypno birthing person showed up about 15 minutes before that. My friends brought my candles and lavender and did there best to help till my best friend showed up. So I basically got through this on my own with very little issue and I really was calm. Shocked the heck out of the nurses.
The ending of the story is this: I have narrow hips. My baby's nose got stuck on the pelvic bone in the canal around there so she needed help because my pushing was not getting her out. The joyful part is: it was about 4 hours and I remember it as the best experience to this day. So much so, that I would do it again. So this is my positive review for hypnobirthing. Happy Birthing!
To my kids, I love you all regardless of your journey to get here.