I Ain’t a Kidding Nobody But Myself, I Am Not Doing Well
Let's See Where This Road Goes!
If You Know The Answers Send Me a Line
There was this man, over forty years a friend, confidant, coach and law partner. Well he still is a man. We were working on one hell of a legal row together last week. He yelled “PAUSE” into the phone. And on our one drive type deal. “Dierker go take a hot and cold shower and do that thing where you pinch yourself. This is tough stuff and you are having too much fun. Get a grip and get serious.” All I could say was; “Sorry buddy but I am having more fun than a 4 year old at Christmas tossing the toys aside and loving the boxes”.
“Eric you are disgusting, you act like you are a giddy 16+ girl going to her first prom”. “Stay focused!”
“But if I catch them in an inconsistent statement from each other we can pin the defendants against each other and do a divide and conquer deal. She said she had no knowledge of the events; that means she cannot refute another’s declaration of the action”. “Now that is all Perry Mason and Matlock”. “Let’s get ‘er done”.
“Eric it is time you did some hiking and gardening and ate some mellow herbs”. Buddy OK, OK call me when you can catch up.” I told him.
And another day is in mellow swing as it is 5 hours since I “went” to work and 9am is on the horizon I suppose. I often wonder why my dreams are action, adventure movies. I have not had a good day in years. I just quite simply have great days. Most like to say that my life stinks because of this and that. Going after “this and that” makes any day as fine as the last which will not be as fine as tomorrow.
My boy and I worry about him growing up. We discuss it. Playing catch the other day he related a little something he figured out. Personally I get rather frightened when an 8 year old figures something out. Normally it kind of sets my world a bit sideways. Maybe Vertigo hits me mentally. Maybe it is my acrophobia and the heights they bring me to scares me. It is not so bad I sweat and shiver and tingle uncontrollably. I assume that is just my advance age.
“Dad I am not worried about growing older and not being a happy kid anymore.” “Wow boy that is great”. I am super happy for you. Why?
“Because you are old and still a kid”.
I Just Don't Know a God Who Is Not Love. Sorry If You Do.
Just Stop It. Get On That Bus Headed For Paradise
Perhaps I Just Don't Get Life.
I found myself worrying the other day about my wife worrying the other day about something that happened and should have bothered me the other day and I was not attentive the other day. I was exhausted just figuring the days. So I busted out the mop, the duster and vacuumed and kicked some butt on my home. Actually I was worrying about worrying the other day. I went to the barber for a shave and a haircut. Alright I just turned on a talk show like at my barber’s and did it all myself. Dad said that barbershops are a social deal not a grooming deal. Funny but he was the Health Director for our county and took me with him to inspect the barber premises. One time out back of the cabin he buzzed my hair to a quarter inch and then let me do him – Holy crap was I nervous. I guess I just get nervous and worry too much sometimes. Sorry if it comes across and I worry you. How rude would that be? I would worry about that --- OK stop it Eric.
Now I reckon you would conclude I am the most anal worrywart ever. How else could I write this? But let us get down to the kicker licker. All that fuss and fury worry exists in my life. And I figure I pray about an hour all told during any given day, probably a good average, round out. The aforementioned worries take up about a good full half a minute of my day.
They come and they exist and they go away like night in the morning. The last night never to exist or be seen again. Some lessons learned might get etched into my bone head but not many.
I exercise and eat pretty right. I love my very amateur cooking. Just yesterday I pegged a bullet stike into a 2X2 target with a football at 30 yards. I outran my eight year old up an incline. (laugh about the running – you do it and good luck and I will bet against you). We do not do healthy to be healthy. Yuk!
We do life and it is healthy. Can you even imagine an 8 year old playing videos for three hours a day? I just cannot wrap my head around that.
I will be back I am doing some weeding, folding the laundry, finishing dishes and mopping before my next o so boring conference call on legalities of this Bitcoin thing. If you need a sleeping pill just call me and I will explain my take on the SEC infringement of the Interstate Commerce Clause and the World Trade Organization and International Monetary Fund position papers and developing economies and tradeable “Cyber Coin” nuances. Actually do call me around 10 pm my time so we can fall asleep together.
Not fun stuff but real fun stuff to sleep on.
I Did A Stint As A Tuesday And Saturday Guest Singer For A Cover Band of These Guys.
Don't Knock On My Door, I Am More Lost Than You
Back off Jack. My poor mop is mending it’s wounds in the garage. The vacuum is sadly in place next to it. Dishes are not just clean but could serve in an operating theatre in any hospital. Ok I broke protocol and a ten minute surrey with a 4 inch green as heck grasshopper. Almost like a Praying Mantis. My boy will need to figure out origin, genus as species.
It is not of me it is “in” me. This caress of the wonderment of life. I make no effort here to be content. Contentment just jumps up, bites me in the butt cheeks and does not let go. I got no clue how this dandy like candy works. Seems to me I do all I can to wreck it like the Edmund Fitzgerald or Titanic.
So where does the great day come from to the exclusion of a “doing well” day which really adds up to a great life if you like logic and mathematics? Please come on by and snoop around my spaces as I pass out in looking forward to tomorrow. My wife has been looking for my secret drug for years and has not found my stash. I even forgot where it is. I fare the well a drunken state. Oh not of booze, usually, but of lack of sobriety. No one ever accused me of being sober. I am intoxicated in life and love. Goofy as a Mosquito flying into a snow storm.
I hope that boy finds more purpose than I. I hope he bears the wait/weight of humanity without a jolly moment in sight. I hope he grows up to be a real man. Tougher than nails and waiting to take numbers and kick ass. Is that what good dad’s do I wonder.
I think our title kind of explains my book:
I Ain’t a Kidding Nobody But Myself, I Am Not Doing Well
For you see I cannot do well, I tried and let go. We just do great. Each day a new day that the Lord has made and we shall be glad and rejoice in it.
Oh by the by the boy started laughing at me when I told him he “had to get tough to make it”. What the heck, I tried, albeit not hard.