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And Wishing...

Updated on December 13, 2015

In the past few weeks that my friends are enjoying their summer vacation, I was left alone in our house, forlorn and bored in damnation. I do not know what to do with myself anymore. It’s been like forever in my room, it’s as if I am doomed and tortured in a dungeon of darkness, and I need a savior. I am tortured in the sense that my mind is coercing me to do things that adults about my age supposed to do, and just cease with the drama and the self-pity. But despondently, I cannot do it for I am stuck in my room, almost paralyzed and doing nothing without any reason at all in my pocket… I feel so empty.

I have been like this for almost a year now. I feel like I am lost. I feel like I am trapped in a cage, and it exasperates me that I cannot go out and fly and spread my wings…

I want to fly like those times when I was a little girl where I dreamt of flying. And though it has been years since I had those dreams, I can still remember those flying moments where I am on top of the soft cottony clouds lying or dancing; and oh... the taste of the cool mist kissing my lips, which gives me a sweet sensation of purity and calmness that I cannot imagine could exist; plus, the touch of chilly fresh air caressing my face… It’s so perfect in my memory. Until now, I don’t want such memory be replaced.

I had also dreamt of being a super heroine. Wherein I fought bad elements using my super powers, but kept my identity in clandestine. Anyway, the thing I loved about being a superhero was when I get to effortlessly throw punches on the bad guys and toss them slickly thereafter in oblivion. Whew! I felt very powerful and heroic then, since I was the master of some epic action…

Oh, those were good times. Unfortunately, good times doesn’t last but I want a dose of it now… so bad. I don’t experience those kinds of dreams anymore and it makes me very sad. The reality is… I do not have wings for me to fly, and I do not have super muscles and super powers for me to valiantly combat evil with my faultless fighting skills and style.

Aside from feeling genuine happiness during those times in my childhood, I also can remember that I was a tremendously happy kid back in our neighborhood. And again, I can say I felt perfectly happy because I had a happy home, a happy life, a happy me… But that kind of happiness is aloof to me nowadays, and I wish to feel it again straightaway.

So now, that is----Today, I wish I was a child… And I want to say out loud to the world and beyond… that… I wish I was a child!

Now I am wishing... and wishing... and wishing...

For when you are a child, your soul is still uncorrupted. When you’re a child, you get to experience the kind of happiness that gives you an impeccable delight. When you are a child, you get to appreciate every little thing that surrounds you and contentment is not an issue. When you are a child, you enjoy the freedom of just… wishing.

Hence, I wish I could bring back those moments where I sleep with wonderful dreams. I wish I could bring back the time wherein I could play as a kid on a mountain stream. I wish I could set myself free from the demons that are shadowing me. I wish I could let happiness smoothly flow in my veins and wash all my worries away. I wish I were a kid where I can do things without worries and just be happy tomorrow or even just for today…

Now I am wishing…and is still wishing… and wishing…

© 2015 Cherrey Joy Ycong

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    • Ceejay Ycong profile imageAUTHOR

      Cherrey Joy Ycong 

      2 years ago from Philippines

      Thank you very much Frank and Faith Reaper, I am sorry, it took me months before I read your comments... And I just want to thank you for appreciating my works :)

    • Faith Reaper profile image

      Faith Reaper 

      3 years ago from southern USA

      Hello Lovely Cherrey,

      Your writing is genuine and fresh. Ah, yes, to possess the wonder of a child again ... I do believe it is possible. I remember feeling as you describe when I was young like you, but then I realized life is too short and I just went out into the world and embraced new things and met new friends along the way.

      Isolation is a kind of real hell for sure.

      Hugs and blessings

    • Frank Atanacio profile image

      Frank Atanacio 

      3 years ago from Shelton

      emotive and strong I almost feel what you feel..

    • Ceejay Ycong profile imageAUTHOR

      Cherrey Joy Ycong 

      3 years ago from Philippines

      Thank you very much for you encouraging words Allan. I appreciate it very much. :)

    • profile image

      Allan 

      3 years ago

      Get out of the cage! you are free.. It seems me you are stuck in routine, figure out some way to inject a new energy in your life, you are able, you are amazing, just believe and start with a simple step... move on and leave your step stronger each day!

    • Ceejay Ycong profile imageAUTHOR

      Cherrey Joy Ycong 

      3 years ago from Philippines

      Thank you very much Harishprasad. I am glad that you like it. It means so much to me. :)

    • Harishprasad profile image

      Harish Mamgain 

      3 years ago from New Delhi , India

      Ceejay, these are lovely outpourings ! Childhood is really a wonderful phase of life, and no one can ever forget it. Such sweet dreams, aspirations of becoming invincible, powerful and all knowing ! It is like dawn of life and then we move on and see all ups and downs. A beautiful hub, such that everyone will relate to it. Voted up. Keep writing, my friend.

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