Bitter, Bitter-Sweet, Sweet Days
Holidays are special because they are spent with the people we hold dear. What if they passed away on the holiday?
Somber moments gather in the corners of life because they are pushed aside out of the waking times where we strive so much for constant Happy, which is not necessarily a terrible striving. In that, it is futile to attempt to move away from those somber moments. In squirreling them away, they all rain down at once when the corners can no longer hold up the tears of years of not dealing with those things not permitted to be spoken.
Speaking of death and loss is not a pleasant thing to do when the hurt and memory of love no longer felt and returned in those physical moments when the soul aches once more for that touch, that hug, that smile. Speaking allows the soul to recognize that something in life is missing. It allows the grieving heart to weep away the tears so that the good memories are not bitter, but bitter-sweet, then just sweet.
Christmas is always been a bitter, bitter-sweet, now sweet time because of the one who I lost that loved me most in the world. Lilly Bell Bazin, my grandmother. Each of us has a love at one point in our lives hopefully that means something emotionally healthy for that period in our lives. Grandma meant that love for me at the budding age of 13 years. For others, it may be a friend, parent, or sibling who gave them the love they sought in life.
Because it is difficult to know how deep the hurt goes for each person who loses someone, no one can understand the sorrow of another person without some revelation to help.
No pictures to honor her beauty, memories are all that are left in the recesses of my soul to cherish her memory. She left this life in her sleep after her pacemaker stopped working. She did not make a sound other than to expel her breath the last time, And then she was gone. It harrows me so to recall the simple end of her laughter and her smiles. The end of her swearing and loving in the same breath. There needs to be no story attached, just a love missing.
T'is the Season
The smile upon your face is not what makes me love you most.
Its the kindness in your eyes that reveals your soul, so lovely.
The times you without a word told me how much you loved me.
That I hold on to for times I miss your touch at all cost.
Years go by and I have grown from a child to an adult.
When I think of your face I remember the protection.
When finally we meet at my time, will be perfection.
True Joy if you and God are happy with my life's result
Dearest lady, take care with my daughter and mother there.
You 've had a long wait for them to join you there in heaven.
Meeting those you never knew in life, our family-kin.
I feel a connection from God when your spirit is near.
Good, Better, Best
Many people have lost loved ones during the holidays, which causes that holiday to be associated with death and misery. There is no faulting the person for doing that. or there should be no fault against the person. Because it is difficult to know how deep the hurt goes for each person who loses someone, no one can understand the sorrow of another person without some revelation to help.
Reaching out to someone who endures the loss of a loved one, is a good way to serve that person. A better way is to reach out in a way that the person needs. The best way is to be available and step in as needed.
Hearing, "I'm sorry for your loss," is not personal and not truly sorrow. That is letting the person who has lost someone know that you feel sorry that he or she has to go through that experience, pity. It is good to express sympathy.
It is Better to express support. "I am here for you. Call me" That makes the mourner feel better to know that he or she can go to you for support if they feel the need. Who actually calls if they do not already have an intimate relationship with the person? Not many, I would gather.
It is best to actually be a support when all the mourning and ceremonializing the deceased stops. A friend that shows up with something to give besides pity is the best support for a mourner. If the need to talk about the lost loved one arises, being there matters when the sufferer knows you are him or her, not because of what happened to their loved one.
December 23, 1989, is a date that is burned into the heart of my soul. How many more December 23, 1989s out there are there? Who has lost a loved one during the Christmas holiday, making life seem not as sweet and festive?
While all are about shopping and caroling for the merry Christmas we wish to have and on each other, let us remember the ones who lost a loved one who might be scrooging it in a corner. Do not guilt-trip them into being merry, but be there for them this holiday that reminds them of what was lost. Give them time to go from bitter to bitter-sweet, to sweet during the holidays. It may take years. It may not.