ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

I Think I Can Face The Gym Again

Updated on January 28, 2010


I’m not a “go alonger” never have been and I don’t know that I ever will be one. If absolutely everyone is wearing something or doing something or going to see something, I have no interest. And so before the holidays as I would visit the gym twice a week for my Zumba classes (knowing full well that I really needed to be there 8 times a week and doing more than just an hour of cardio to songs in Spanish that I couldn’t understand) at least I was going, right? But then the holidays came and so did travel, then a bad cold and then the realization that everyone simply, EV-ER-Y-ONE goes back to the gym in January to begin their New Year’s resolution that won’t last the month so I didn’t want to add to the clutter for the regular gym bunch. But now as January comes to a close I’ve begun to think (and my pants have begun to beg) that it is indeed time to enter back into the holiest of gay temples, the gym. I think I can face the gym again – Don’t Get Me Started!

Months ago I was at a gay party (make no mistake about it, it was dull as hell so not gay in that way but gay in that there were a lot of gay people there) and I met this young couple in their twenties who were going on and on about how they absolutely love the gym. I was bored, I wanted a cigarette (even though I haven’t smoked in a thousand years and when I used to smoke only used it as a prop with my cocktail and cigarette in the same hand I would gesture grandly, “Look at that one over there, not the sense to come in out of the rain but abs you could bounce a quarter on and lose an eye!” A swallow of vodka, a puff off the cigarette letting the smoke slowly emanate from my lips while I waited for the laugh.) These guys, who looked like they had the body of twelve year olds went to the gym every day meanwhile someone should have told their bodies because I don’t know what they looked like out of clothes but in clothes one looked so thin that he seemed as though he would have the brittle bones of a woman who hadn’t heeded Sally Fields about Boniva and the other one had a pot belly that surely should have been reduced from all those hours in the gym, right? I know what you’re thinking, that maybe they only went to the gym to have sex with other men but as I can attest, not every gym features gay sex or people who are interested in the gay sex (I know, sorry to disappoint).

I have over six thousand excuses for not going to the gym (some include bad hair day, nothing to wear, convincing myself that I shouldn’t go because I’ll catch someone else’s germs from the equipment and so on) but now that we’re coming to the end of January I’ve lied to myself enough, gone through the entire list of excuses to find that I’ve none left. I need to find some new excuses and almost did. I decided a couple of weeks ago that there was no point going to the gym because my body at forty-five years of life and with what I’ve done with it (nothing) makes it impossible for me to physically achieve the body I want so why bother? If that isn’t the greatest excuse in the world, I don’t know what is. I actually walked around for more than one day believing this after a quick convincing session with myself. I lost my metabolism years ago but now with nothing to blame but bad living, a pot belly gene passed down for generations all I could do was convince myself that I had a body that had passed its ability to spring back into shape so there was no point.

Well, excuses be damned, this week I will get back on those stairs that never end, might even do some crunches, or try to lift myself (with the assisted chin up machine) and begin to try and feel abs when I’m sucking in again. That’s been the greatest thing I’ve lost by not going to the gym. Before when I was going I could actually feel where my abs should be if I hadn’t eaten recently and sucked in really hard but for the last month or so when I suck my stomach in, there’s so much to it that I can’t suck it in enough to feel that I once had some abdominal muscles at all let alone see the doughed over tracks of them. So sad. So unless my mind can find any more reasons, gym goers beware. I think I can face the gym again – Don’t Get Me Started!

Read More Scott @


    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    No comments yet.