- Diseases, Disorders & Conditions
If Tomorrow Never Comes...Contemplating Upcoming Surgery
I am having outpatient surgery tomorrow. It's not a big deal really...just hernia surgery.But I have been thinking a lot today about the stories I sometimes hear. People will sometimes go in for surgery for something simple and have trouble with the anesthesia, and they never wake up. I guess I am a wee bit anxious about that happening. And I have been contemplating what would that mean for others in my life.
There's a song that I will put in a video down lower in this article called, "If Tomorrow Never Comes." I have listened to that song, and often thought I should tell those I love what I really feel. And so here's my chance to do it. This is my chance to tell the people I care about how I really feel, just in case tomorrow never comes....or in this case, the following day never comes due to complications with surgery!
And after reading this, I encourage you to do the same...to write to your loved ones how you feel about them, just in case tomorrow never comes. Because there is no guarantee for any of us that it will come...surgery or not!
To My Husband:
I would want my husband to know how very much I love him. And that even though we have only been together for such a short time on this earth, I feel we will be together for all eternity. I know in my heart that we were very blessed to find each other, for the second time, and that no other man on earth could have ever treated me better, or loved me more. Ours is a love that grew out of a friendship from years earlier. And that friendship helped solidify our love for each other when we met again and were both going through troubled times. I could not imagine loving any other man more than I love him, and I would want him to know this, and to thank him for all of the joy he has brought into my life. And as we often have said to each other, words cannot express the true depth of our feelings for each other. But we feel the love in our hearts, and I am forever grateful to have known a love like this in my lifetime.
To My Children:
I would want my son to know that even though he might not think so, I am proud of him. I haven't always approved of the choices he has made, but I'm proud of who he has become today. He is a young man with a wonderful sense of humor that has made me laugh in the direst of situations. And I can sense, even when he doesn't say it, how much he loves me. I love his enthusiasm for what he loves. And I enjoy and am proud of his affectionate side because it's a characteristic we both have in common.Because he was my first born child, I have always felt a strong bond with him. He was the person who made me a mother. That role is one I always have and will always cherish as a God-given gift. And I just want to help him understand that no matter what decisions he has made in the past, or which ones he will make in the future, I love him with an unconditional love that will never end.
My Oldest Daughter
Now this one's interesting because I have twin daughters! But one was born one minute earlier than the other and although I have tried to help them forget that, they will not. My oldest daughter has always been extremely active. A go-getter from the time she was in my womb, I said extra prayers for her because I thought she was going to be a handful. And that she was until she reached school age and settled into a routine and an arena that she could excel at. I want my daughter to know that I am so proud of her and all she has accomplished. She is one that never gives up and strives to be her best and do her best, no matter what the obstacle. And although she has had some obstacles in her young life, she has always overcome them with an optimistic spirit. My daughter is probably the least like me out of my three children. But in ways, I am proud of. She has always known how to lift me up when things weren't going well, and I am so glad I was chosen to be her mom. I would want my firstborn daughter to know that I love her and am proud of her for having the courage to be herself and to go after what she wants in life. And also, of course, that I love her unconditionally.
My Youngest Daughter
My youngest daughter ( the second twin) is a lot like me, although I am sure she would not be happy to hear that. We both had quiet personalities growing up, and were shyer than many others in our age group. We both have a passion for animals, enjoy writing and photography. She has had a tougher time in life than I did because she is fiercely independent and has chosen to live her life on her own terms much earlier than I did. I admire her for that...for knowing more about herself than I did and that she would be more fulfilled if she broke away from her family to live her own life earlier than most teens do. I am so proud of her because living with her choices has at times been tough, but she has hung in there, and even asked for advice from dear old mom. This shows me that she is growing up and maturing and I am so proud of her for fulfilling her destiny. And also, of course, I want her to know that in spite of our frustrations with each other over the years, I love her unconditionally.
If Tomorrow Never Comes Poll
Have You Written to Your Loved Ones to Tell Them How Much You Love Them Before You Die?
A Good-Bye Letter
Years ago, in my twenties, I wrote a letter entitled, "If I Die Tomorrow" and photocopied about 25 of them. I added an extra line or 2 to each person I gave it to, telling them something personal they had added to my life and how much I appreciated them being in it. Some friends and relatives took it well and cherished it. Others thought it was gruesome and didn't want to read it. I thought it was important to tell people before I died how I felt about them because afterward, it's too late. I am sure that I feel this way because my grandmother died after a long battle with cancer and I had a lot of time to talk to her about the importance of letting people know how important they are to you. I wrote a hub about it...see below! But please take the poll here, and we'll see how the rest of you feel.
When this song came out by Garth Brooks, I felt a real connection with it because it struck a chord with me about the importance of telling and showing others how you feel about them when you are still with them. Here is Ronan Keating singing it.
I realize that not everyone is still fortunate enough to have their parents alive, but I am one of the fortunate ones who does. And I want to tell them how much I love and appreciate all they have done for me. It has not always been like that. We went through some tough times when I, as an adult was frustrated with their efforts to continue to parent me. I tried so hard to shrug off what I felt was an overbearing effort by both of them to tell me how to raise my own children, that I forgot what a good job they did of raising me. I would want my parents to know how much I love them and appreciate all they have done for me, both past and present. Growing up, I always felt I had what I needed to live a good and happy life. As an adult, I learned that they struggled to give that feeling of happiness and security to my brother and I. My parents did a great job of raising us to be loving, to still have respectful, honest and independent adults. Not all parents can say that in this day and age. My parents worked together as a team to provide a stable environment for me to grow up in, and to this day I am grateful for that. I am grateful for the love they have continued to give me, my children, and my new husband. I am a fortunate woman to still be a daughter and have the time to tell them how much I love them and to thank them for all they have done for me.
My Brother and His Wife:
I only have one sibling. My brother is four years younger than I am and when we were young, were very close. I actually considered myself a second mom to him until we were both in elementary school. At that point, we did not get along. We fought a lot, verbally and there was some kick-boxing going on on his part during those nights. Once I went away to college, I realized how much I missed him, and since then we have been close again. I would want my brother to know that I do love him so very much and appreciate being able to share our childhood together. It was nice to have someone with whom to share the memories, the holidays, the birthday parties, etc. And a peer to laugh at the funny things our parents did and still do. And I love and appreciate his wife because she loves my brother so much and has helped him create a loving and fulfilling adult life.
I have a good group of friends, but some I am closer to than others. I would want to thank each one of them for their support and love over the years. Some of my friends have been with me since 5th grade, and others since high school. My friend since fifth grade has been with me for 43 years...so hard to believe. We know each other's families and their struggles as well as our own. We have helped each other though marriages, pregnancies, divorces, and remarriages. Through good times and bad ( sounds like a marriage ceremony there) and we have always loved and supported each other. I am so grateful to her for always being there for me. Since I only had a brother, she is like the sister that I never had.
Another of my friends was one I met when we were in a Christian singing group together in high school. We encouraged each other as our faith grew. And although after graduation from high school, we went our separate ways, we reunited as adults. And she encouraged me as an adult as I navigated the waters of dating after divorce. She has shown me the example of true and long lasting love in her longstanding marriage, and I am grateful to know her and to have rekindled our friendship. One friend has been with me since we were both pregnant with twins, and we went through a lot together raising our kids. We encouraged each other through the tough days of sick babies with runny noses and too many diapers, and the good days when we took our six children camping together. We have watched each other's children grow up and withstand challenges we never thought they would go through as babies and I am grateful she was there for me during those challenging times.
I am so thankful for my girlfriends who have seen me through the worst of times, and the best of times. There are friends I have met through jobs, through other friends, through our children. And I love you all and am grateful for your presence in my life.
And There Are Others...
There are others...like the pediatricians for my children who were always there for us, whether it be on a Saturday morning or late on a Wednesday night when my child was burning up with a fever. I always knew I could count on them to put my children's best interests first. And my favorite Pastor and his wife, who as a couple showed me what a real Christian marriage should look like, and they still do this to this day. And since I have already written a hub about the special people in my life and what they mean to me (see below) I will stop my part now, but now it's your turn...will you write a special letter to those you love and tell them what they mean to you, even if you aren't having surgery? There's no time like the present to share this message with people because we never know if we will have another chance...
I have survived surgery! I actually published this after surgery but wrote most of it before going to the hospital. I wanted it to be true to life and to my real feelings, but in the rush of preparing to go to the hospital, I hadn't finished this article. I did want to let readers know I am okay, and recuperating and have shared this with my loved ones.
This CD helps patients prepare for surgery, and I found it useful prior to mine...
- 12 Reasons Why I Love My Husband
This is my second marriage to a wonderful man. 12 reasons why I love this man who gives me unconditional love.
- What my Grandmother's Cancer Taught Me
My grandmother struggled for 8 years with colon cancer. This hub explains how her cancer affected my life, and how it made me who I am today. I became aware of Dr. Elisabeth Kubler Ross and her work on death and dying and Hospice through my grandmoth
- Celebrating 42 Years of Friendship
My best friend and I have been friends for 42 years. This article is about all we have endured together through all the years of our friendship, and a celebration of our life long friendship.
- Who Are the Stars in Your Life Story and Have You Thanked Them?
This article is about the importance of being grateful to those people who have made a significant impact in your life. And about not forgetting to tell them thank you.
© 2013 Karen Hellier