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If You Are Looking For Someone To Change Your Life, Get A Mirror

Updated on March 15, 2020
John Iovine profile image

Science writer and experimenter. Conventionally published in science, technology, computers, personal development, health, & fitness.


If you think the world, politicians, political party in power, governments, circumstances, job market, luck, or other people in your life, are responsible for where you are in life you have given up control of your life to them. You are blaming someone or something else for where you are, or where you are not.

Abdicating your responsibility can be comforting. It takes away any decisions you made, or didn’t make. It wasn’t relaxing instead of working. No this was a lack of clarity, or hard work, this was done to you. You are a victim. Let me ask you a question, what professional victim do you know that has achieved a high level of success? If you know of one, tell me, because I don’t. So as a rule of thumb, being a victim or playing one by not taking responsibility for your life is counterproductive to success.

The next question, how much of your life are you responsible for? That’s an easy answer, one hundred percent.

Accept responsibility for all the shiitake in your life.

Flip over any blame game you’re playing, assume you are responsible for every bit of shiitake that exists in your life today. Take the time necessary, through introspection and determine how your actions and reactions created the circumstance where you currently find yourself. Yes, you can go back years. Yes, bad things happened to you. But bad things happen to everyone. It’s your reaction to these negative events that help plot the course of your life.

Bad things and set-backs happen to everyone, plan on it, accept it, and expect it to happen. Anticipate that when it does, you will work to find a way to overcome, go around or if necessary rebuild. So the next time you find yourself knocked flat on your ass, say to yourself as your rubbing the pain away from your behind, yeah, okay, that hurt. Pick yourself up, survey the situation and plot how to move forward again.

I get it, it’s hard to pursue your dreams. Don’t expect any meaningful support. Everyone has dreams, but not everyone has the courage to pursue their dreams. Want to know why most people only give lip service support, because you pursuing your dreams remind them that they gave up on theirs.

Hitting The Wall

Seeing you hitting a wall, knocked down, or failing is comforting to the crowd. It’s confirmation that they made the right decision to abandon their dreams and goals. When you separate yourself from the crowd, not joining in after work drinks to pursuing your goals instead, expect the ridicule and derision it will generate. If they're successful you’ll begin to doubt yourself and your goals.

Keep in mind if you find yourself surrounded by these low energy and low motivated people, who surrounded you with low energy low motivated people?

If you want to be an athlete, hang out with athletes. If you want to be a musician, hang out with musicians. A chess player, chess players, a mathematician, mathematicians, a physicist, physicists. You get the reoccurring theme here? Okay, so who are you hanging out with?

Keep in mind there are people out there who started with less resources than you have now, who are not as intelligent as you are, but are reaching their goals and are crushing it. So why aren’t you?

Don’t wait for a knight in shinning armor to save you, the shine from his armor will probably blind you anyway.

This Realization Is Your Advantage, Use It

This understanding is an advantage. It puts you ahead of the crowd that is looking for external reasons for their plans not working or for failing. My advice is to look inside. Your actions, your decisions and your reactions to the events in life are what you can truly control.

Don’t be afradi of failure. My article “The Upside To Failing” explains why.

© 2020 John Iovine


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