I'm a Sinner
And not ashamed of it
Guilty pleasure number 528,921 of mine...drum roll, please...I smoke. I am...a smoker. I am the last of a (literally) dying breed (but then again...who isn't dying?). I was devastated when the smoking laws changed in Kansas and smokers were banned to the outdoors, especially when it came to bars.
I feel a slight twinge of rage when some twit offers me 'helpful' advice about my self-inflicted ever-blackening lungs...or the fact that I'm 'killing myself with those cancer sticks'. In my head I am thinking, Uh...I don't know if you're aware...but nobody gets out of this alive. Instead, I smile wearily and move further away from their irritating presence. (And I secretly wish that I had big enough cajones to blow smoke in their general vicinity...aka: their face.)
I just want to take a moment to dispel a few myths about me...
Myth: Smokers are dirty, stinky human beings with no morals and are obviously horrible parents.
Truth: Dirty? Um...I don't even know how to respond to that...except to say that I shower daily. Stinky...yes...it's the one complaint I have about being a smoker. I cannot deny that I definitely smell like smoke, no matter how much I try to mask the smell...it is always there. No morals? Again...um...on the rare occasion that I drink I am careful not to imbibe to the point of incapacitation...I have been married nine years and have three children by the same man...soooo...not really sure how to combat that myth, other than to say that I know who I am and what my morals are. Horrible parent...okay...that's a good one. I quit smoking when I was pregnant and stayed 'off the wagon' while I breastfed...I never smoke in my house and I never smoke in the car with my children. Even while smoking on my deck I make my kids keep a 50 foot radius or make them stay inside, away from the smoke.
Myth: Smokers have an addiction.
Truth: While this may be true of some people who smoke I actually enjoy smoking very much. I love everything (except the smell) about smoking. I love the act of purchasing cigarettes. (I get a certain morbid satisfaction of being old enough to buy smokes.) I love jumping in my car and unwrapping a fresh pack. I love pulling out that first pristine Parliament Light and my favorite action is placing the cigarette between my lips and taking that first deep drag. There is something so inexplicably gratifying about the entire act.
All that aside, I have quit several times and for extended periods of time. I know that if and when I get tired of the dance with tobacco, I will quit again. I am aware there are addictive substances in cigarettes but I know they have no hold over my central nervous system. I just dig smoking. Ya dig?
Myth: Smokers have bad teeth and do drugs.
Truth: I have perfect pearly whites that I take care of regularly. Drugs? Have I ever done drugs? Yes...of course. Do I do drugs now? Nope. Did I do drugs because I was a smoker? Nope. I did drugs because it was college and that's what you're 'supposed to do in college'.
Myth: Smokers are inconsiderate.
Truth: Some smokers are inconsiderate. I am not immune to the people I see smoking in their cars with children or the extremely pregnant woman taking a drag on a cancer stick. But...I do not fall into either of those groups. I do not smoke in my car when I have non-smokers or children in my car. I am very careful when smoking outside to make sure that I am standing a considerable distance from non-smokers or the door of a building. And I do not smoke at parks and I make sure to dispose of my cigarettes in an appropriate receptacle. I do have to mention when the smoking ban was passed and smokers could no longer indulge inside drinking establishments I was extremely disappointed. A bar is for adults. Adults going to drink and possibly get drunk and then drive home intoxicated. Your driving skills are not impaired by nicotine, no matter how many butts you chain smoke. There are no children in bars. That is one law that I will never understand. But, I digress. I do not frequent drinking establishments much anymore due mostly to my busy life with three children, a dog, a husband and a full time job.
Et ita...Fumant si habes eos. Smoke 'em if you've got 'em.