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Don't Call Me Stupid Just Because I Have ADHD

Updated on November 8, 2015

Understanding the Mechanics of Some Mental Disorders

Lives were lost because of cruel words. Many students here in America have committed violent acts because they’ve had enough of the bullying - of being called stupid regularly. Contrariwise, lives have been saved because of kind words at right circumstances. This article’s goal is to shed some light regarding factors affecting our intelligence, in the hope that maybe, we’ll be kinder towards other’s disabilities or predicaments.

Here in America, we have a name for every mental disorder imaginable: ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder), Asperger’s Syndrome, Bipolar Disorder, Dyslexia, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, Anorexia, Schizophrenia, Idiot Savant, etc. In some countries, you’re either smart or stupid. Perhaps, they don’t like complicating things so if one has a comprehension problem, their first impression is: that person is stupid. They fail to recognize that there are various factors that contribute to people’s apparent lack of mental acuity, that it’s a universal malady: if you can’t pick-up quick enough – you’re labeled stupid.

Children are bullied in school when a classmate is slow-witted, “off” or don’t act like everybody else, just like what happened to my daughter. It was during her elementary years when she was diagnosed with ADHD. I wasn’t surprised. Many incidents occurred, and still occurring, when I felt like pulling my hair from sheer frustration. I couldn’t understand why such an intelligent child can be utterly “stupid” sometimes. It’s an oxymoron alright. It's like dealing with an idiot savant. I was puzzled about many things for awhile. Her behavioral pattern is so peculiar that making friends is difficult for her. When she gets overly excited, calming her down is like pulling teeth. It was painful to hear a relative call her “freak” when she’s still a child.

The most alarming incident, as a parent, transpired when she missed the school bus (when she's still in elementary school), and she decided to walk home because she didn’t think to go inside the school to ask a teacher for help. She could have been abducted, which is a most frightening thought to parents. Years passed and we couldn’t wait to see her “grow up.” She was already in her early twenties when we discovered she’s also suffering from Asperger’s Syndrome, a common companion of ADHD.

My daughter was bullied early on. I thought the bullying will stop when she goes to college. Sadly, it didn't. One student berated her for asking too many questions, having slow comprehension, and treated her as a burden in the group. She's the only member in their group project who has a different major, so why is it difficult for these supposedly smart students to understand she needs help.

In the interest of saving time, I will discuss only three disorders briefly from the list I mentioned earlier - as I have personal experience with them, except for dyslexia, which I included because it is also a common learning disability.


ADHD is also referred to as ADD. This is often diagnosed early in life because the symptoms are easily recognizable. Some of them are:

· Lack of focus

· Memory problems/forgetfulness

· Overactive behavior/fidgety

· Impulsive

· Disorganized

· Changes topics frequently during conversation

· Inability to listen intently

· Finishing homework in school is always a problem (for students)

· Difficulty in complying with social etiquette

· Easily distracted by noise

A chemical procedure is not required to indicate ADHD. Oftentimes, parents become aware of their children’s eccentricity, especially when they receive behavioral notifications from school. When diagnosed as a child, the pediatrician will have separate surveys from the child’s parents and teachers. If you suspect your child to be suffering from ADHD, consult their doctor for confirmation. ADHD is caused by hormonal imbalance in the brain that's why it can be remedied with medicine. Physicians love to medicate, but it’s not always the best solution for ADHD sufferers. Every case is different. You just have to figure out what’s best for your child.

For adults, all you have to do is go online and take a free Adult ADHD test. Or, you may consult a doctor as well especially when you believe it’s affecting your livelihood.


Asperger’s Syndrome is also known as high functioning autism. It's also called an extreme male brain. It is a mild type of Pervasive Development Disorder (PDD) in which autism is the most serious type. They are often called, “Aspies.” Normal interaction with others is hampered since their right hemisphere is not functioning properly. Their brain circuitry is not normal. Emotional maturity is also delayed. They don’t have a sense of humor. What is commonly obvious to most people are not with ASD sufferers (no common sense). If they are faced with an unfamiliar situation, making a quick decision is a struggle. Similar to ADHD, they have difficulty making friends. Some of them are overwhelmed with strange fears. My daughter is scared of answering the telephone. Their intelligence, however, is not affected. Most of them have above average intelligence. Both my daughter and husband have high math IQ. Aspies are mostly left-brained, that's why they're usually good in math. The left hemisphere is the epicenter of math and logic. Again, an individual case is different.

Another incident that made me suspicious about my daughter’s bizarre behavior happened when she’s in high school. She played violin in her orchestra class. One afternoon, I dropped her off after school hours for her concert practice. As I drove off to head home, I looked back to check if she had gone inside the building. I saw her still standing in front of the door where I left her. I stopped for awhile to observe if she’ll do anything. She just stood there. I drove back to find out what the problem was: The door was locked because the school is closed for the day. However, there’s another door that was left ajar for students to enter. My daughter was paralyzed by the obstacle and couldn’t think of another alternative. A similar story happened to the brother of an acquaintance who happens to be a genius.

It took over 20 years for me to find out I live with people inflicted with Asperger’s Syndrome. According to my daughter’s doctor, a high percentage of ASD came from the father side of their parents. unfortunately, there’s no medical cure for this disorder, because it's basically a developmental ailment. We can only offer our guidance and affection. Professional counseling can be helpful but costly. Relationship with my family improved upon learning that there are reasons beyond their control why they act and think the way they do. My usual griping was replaced with compassion. I just wish the knowledge came early. It would have saved me many years of frustration. My understanding of human intelligence was broadened by firsthand experience with my family’s plight.


Undiagnosed children, or adults, are often taunted as stupid. Dyslexia is a learning disability. It is very difficult for them to read, write, and spell. Oftentimes, we make the assumption that these people are stupid because we don’t understand that dyslexics’ brain don’t work normally. Letters and words are mixed-up making it hard for them to comprehend. Their learning ability is hampered, but not their fundamental intellectual capacity. Most of them have above average intelligence. You can learn more about this disorder by going to the site I mentioned at the end of this article.


IQ test favors those who are adept in math – which doesn’t favor me. I’m happy to know that experts believe IQ test is not sufficient enough to test one's true intelligence. Amen and amen. And here's my personal perspective: One, this test does not take into consideration cultural issues like a language barrier. If you don’t understand the question well, how can you possibly get the right answer unless you guess it correctly (assuming they took a test written in English which is their second or third language)? Two, test results can be improved with adequate preparation. There’s an abundance of prep test books that’s readily available. If two people with an equal level of intelligence took the same test, the one who studied well gets a better result. And three, your mental disposition, like when you’re under stress or sleep deprivation, at the time you took the test can affect the result. The bottom line is: IQ tests don’t define you. It’s how you lead your life and make choices that ultimately make you at peace with yourself.

Howard Gardner, a summa cum laude graduate of Harvard University and now a Professor of Cognition & Education at Harvard Graduate School of Education, also known for being an iconoclast, shattered the popular belief that intelligence comes in a single form and can be measured only by a standard test (IQ). He opened the world’s eyes on the spectrum of intelligence with his theory of multiple intelligences. He started with seven and added two later on. Despite negative reception from polemics, many accepted his theory. He conceptualized that there are many types of intelligence because people are all unique individuals and learn differently. High academicians remain skeptical with this theory - but widely accepted by educators. Gardner didn’t pursue the development of a standardized test for each intelligence category because he's concerned the tester might be stigmatized.

The multiple intelligences, according to Howard Gardner, are:

1) Logical/Mathematical – reasoning and math

2) Musical – ability to decipher tone, rhythm, pitch, and sounds that others usually fail to recognize

3) Linguistic – affinity for language, ability to express words verbally and in writing effectively

4) Bodily/Kinesthetic – people who are good with their hands and body

5) Existential – sensitive with humanity

6) Intra-personal – ability to appreciate/understand one’s self and human conditions

7) Interpersonal – ability to communicate and interact well with others

8) Naturalist – loves nature and other living things

9) Spatial – imaginative, ability to handle things physically, artistic

So you see, just because you can’t do what others can doesn’t make you stupid. We all learn a certain way. Whether there’s full validity to Gardner’s theory or not, we can’t ignore the fact that there are many elements that affect our mental capabilities like the disorders I’ve mentioned. It’s important for us to understand that “there’s more to it than meets the eye,” whenever someone is slow-witted. Environment - especially poor living condition, drugs, alcohol, health issues, sleep deprivation, genetic disposition, and many others affect our cognition. Furthermore, some are poor in giving an explanation that the listener ends up thinking there's something wrong with their comprehension, when in fact, what's lacking is more data. Sometimes, one missing word can make a difference in putting two and two together. Smart people are guilty of this because they assume the listener knows what they know.

It’s easy to pass judgment on others and categorize them as stupid during their moments of “slowness.” In retrospect, I’ve had my share of being called “stupid,” and being asked if I'm "retarded" during my moment of vulnerability. The sad part is, that person wasn't joking and didn't know I suffered from hyperthyroidism which affects brain functioning due to underlying conditions. At times, I'm simply just going through a "dingbat" (slang for empty-headed) episode. In the aftermath, that person is no longer a part of my life. Life is too short to be around people who makes you feel less than you deserve. You never know what one word will trigger in someone’s brain. You may be ditched out of a friendship or any kind of relationship. Putting others down is a sign of inferiority complex. We may feel better for a brief moment after making someone feel smaller than a dot, but eventually, it always backfire. We all have moments of "slowness," but it doesn't mean we're stupid.

If you're afflicted with ADHD and Asperger Syndrome and you're still in school, don't lose hope. My daughter graduated in college majoring in Computer Engineering. I wish you all the best!



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    • bziebarth profile image


      3 years ago from Columbia Missouri

      Additional really enjoyed this hub. I am 37. I have lived with ADHD my entire life. But, I wasn't diagnosed until the age of 28.

      I agree with your earlier commentor. I too have a high IQ. Research has found a correlation between high IQ and ADHD. It is because ADHD is actually a set of genetic traits used by our hunting ancestors. The high IQ was used for quickly solving problems.

      The bullying is kids not being taught to respect other people. A funny moment in my life was when I ran into my bully from high school years later. He was working at pizza hut. I was a counter terrorism investigator.

      I now write a blog to help others with ADHD harness their benefits. I am going to put the link here. I only do this because it goes with the subject. Feel free to edit it out if you want. It is

    • profile image


      4 years ago

      I just want to say I am just very new to blogging and aculalty savored this blog site. More than likely I’m going to bookmark your website . You amazingly have amazing articles and reviews. Many thanks for sharing with us your webpage.

    • profile image


      4 years ago

      Your honsety is like a beacon

    • seogundy profile image


      5 years ago from Utah

      I am ADHD and I love it!! I am not stupid or broken, I just feel...gifted.

      I have 5 kids and three of them are ADHD. My little girl is really struggling in school but she is so creative outside of school. Sure she is behind in reading and math is just not happening for her at this point but she is gifted in other areas.

      She is more creative and witty than any of the other kids her age and she just excels in things that she has an interest in. She helped me change my right wheel bearing in my car and instructed on how to the the left. I was amazed, not only that she was so interested in but that she picked up on it so fast.

      We have been gone to a couple of Mark Patey's seminars and they have helped a ton in learning how to cope and manage her (an my) ADHD.

    • profile image

      fil-am view 

      7 years ago

      Way to go ADHDchick! More power to you - and thanks for your input!

    • profile image


      7 years ago

      I have ADHD and an IQ in the 95th percentile (tested by an actual psychiatrist--not an online test mind you). All of my life my peers have called me dumb, stupid, ditzy, and a spaz just because I had a little more energy. It made me angry for a while but then it dawned on me that THEY were the ones that were too dumb to comprehend my condition. From then on, every time I was teased, I sat back with a smug smile and realized that I had twice the brains that they will ever have and their cruelty towards me had given me the motivation to achieve more in life than they ever will.

    • profile image

      fil-am view 

      7 years ago

      Thanks a bunch instantlyfamily! I appreciate your comment.

    • instantlyfamily profile image


      7 years ago

      Thank you for your insight and knowledge. The title grabbed me and the article held me. Nice work!

    • FIL-AM VIEW profile imageAUTHOR

      Carmelita McMillin 

      7 years ago

      It's not the point Yoshuinto. It's how people think when they encounter people with mental disorder. The title is just to grab your attention.

    • profile image


      7 years ago

      rather interesting point regarding mental disorders being regarded as just stupidity


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