- Mental Health
Dealing with boredom and learning to become better people
How to deal with boredom and stay happy and active
Through the years, our society has advanced, and now we have many things that centuries ago would have been deemed as impossible. Now we have TV, movies, radio stations, the Internet, cars to travel around, airplanes to transport us to different countries and meet different destinations; sport events, musicals, concerts, comedy shows; water parks, theme parks and circuses. These are just a very few set of examples of many things that humans can enjoy today, that were not in the past, at least the way we know them today. Of course, most of this entertainment mentioned costs money, but there are other things we can do to entertain ourselves that may be cheaper or even free.
So, why do many people feel bored too often?
Boredom is a natural state everyone of us feels sometimes in our lives. It’s that what makes us feel we don’t want to do anything; whatever comes to our mind, we don’t feel eager to do it; we may have many things to entertain ourselves with, but we can’t stop feeling bored, sad, or lacking energy and enthusiasm. The question would be, what causes us to feel bored? Why is it that what may excite us at a given time, will eventually turn out to be unsatisfying to us?
When I used to be a boy whenever I bought a very interesting game, I was very happy, very excited. Yet months later, that same game did not excite me anymore. It was like “oh God, I’ve played it so many times, the same levels, the same stages… this is mostly general for everything, for some people even with new relationships. At the beginning, this apparent feeling of “being in heaven”… when a man finally achieved his goal to make a woman love him, or having her say yes… wonderful day it may be… yet for some people, it does not save from the “attack of boredom in time”. Years later, he couple ends up in a routine where one of the parts may end up cheating and trying to find something new. Most of us have a nature in which we are never going to feel satisfied. The same happens with work. Study hard, get a nice job, improve to become a manager, then a vice-president, then a president, yet the need to find something that fully satisfies the person grows, and because it’s not under control, it may lead to trouble.
It is very important to take control over the feeling of being bored. It’s not bad to wanting to become better in our skills, to learn more, to know more. But if that feeling makes you feel always in a state of constant and frequent dissatisfaction then you will end up being unhappy without remedy. Because truth is that no matter how hard you do and what you achieve, it’s never enough. It may turn out to be dangerous to human relationships, which may be summarized in breaking family relationships, friendships, and even getting corrupted and ending doing something criminal.
We see it in the news most of the time. Let’s take the example of artists. They have a great talent, and they use it. Their voices, their sport skills, their talents amaze hundreds, thousands and even millions and billions, yet, there is no satisfaction. Something is lacking. The person feels he’s not done enough. He feels he is failing in something. He feels bored on what he’s achieved. It becomes “oh, okay, so what”, and therefore tragedy may arise… How many millionaire artists have been found to abuse substances, having lots and lots of affairs, or try to get some money on the side in an unethical and illegal way? They have all the money to travel, and do a lot of good stuff to feel entertained, help charities, but no… unhappiness is found very easily among very talented people.
The feeling of boredom is extreme in people who do not give importance to their spiritual and emotional traits. These people never think on dealing with their defects, they choose to keep as they are and whoever loves them will have to deal with such defects. Dealing with defects is relative for different people- some will handle a very rude attitude just fine, some will not. This attitude of “I am who I am” makes some to worsen their rude attitude, and relationships with others deteriorate. This is why there is a lot of problems among people everywhere, we have tried to live along with people’s defects and imperfections which in some cases can be very dangerous.
We are not perfect, and we will never be. But just because we can’t be perfect does not mean we cannot try to be. Many of us talk about worldwide peace, about learning to understand and respect others’ views, to learn to enjoy life at its fullest, but we miserably fail to even try to achieve them by having an arrogant attitude of “being me”. Some people can’t apologize. They confuse apology with humiliation. There is no way for some to understand that asking for forgiveness is not the same as humiliating. They believe they become weak, so they stick with their pride. This is an example of an attitude that will not make it possible for the world to enjoy “worldwide peace”. We lie to our children about teaching them to become good citizens and people, only for them to discover the ugly truth once they cross over to the adolescent stage of their lives. For example- a father can tell his son at the age of 7 to never disrespect girls, to never cheat in an exam… and then 11 years later tell him “you should experience life at its fullest, go with girls, don’t take them seriously, drink and get drunk, etc.” A typical example, many men in their young age treat women with severe disrespect, but once they have daughters, they would go to prison to defend their honor. Yes, people grow up, they learn, and some may know that what they did as young men was not right so they don’t want their daughters to be with men that acted like him in the past. But there are cases where fathers do not really regret or repent for their mistakes- they simply see their daughters as immaculate while other women not related to them are just objects to be played with.
And these are the people who never deal with boredom and perpetual dissatisfaction. They live with their defects. Defects are very difficult to handle with. But we can never give up to defects. It’s good for people to try to always be better, and try to be perfect even when they can never be. Yes, we are humans. But we cannot continue to use that phrase as an excuse to continue creating trouble to others and ourselves. So what can we do to deal with boredom?
At this time, I haven’t feel bored in life in terms on what it has been. I have my time of entertainment but I take time to meditate, think about life, observe the world around me, and analyze how I can be a good person. I do mistakes, but I never feel “oh ok that’s the way I am”. No. I try to not be too hard with myself but when I am wrong, I am wrong. That way I feel I’m recognizing my mistake and try to become better for the future. There are times where we don’t feel we are doing something wrong when somebody else gets annoyed by our actions. Sometimes we cannot yield to what another person thinks. Many people criticize me for not drinking or worrying to get a girlfriend. I am a celibate man and I don’t drink, there is no defect in that, so why should I change? We ought to change what can’t be denied is something harmful- something that is absolutely harmful, not relatively harmful. Yes, sometimes we hurt others with our decisions. In my case, nobody I know is hurt because I chose to not worrying about romance or a marital life. Yes, I may not give my parents any grandson or granddaughter (they have one through my sister), but I cannot choose to be unhappy just to please them, if they were hurt with my decision. What I am talking about here is manipulation. You definitely hurt others through lying, betraying, beating, or insulting, and it hurts you too, nobody who is good and sane feels great hurting others by any of these means. But for example let’s use the example of gays, many of them live in utter fear of not being accepted, of being mocked and even insulted and hurt physically just because they feel attracted with someone with the same gender. Some of us may not agree with gays’ behavior, or celibates, or people who believe in domestic partnerships or other things, but we have to accept them, we cannot manipulate them to become something that makes them unhappy. At the end, why does others’ decisions on their lives, as long as they don’t absolutely hurt, affect us? If a person becomes a murderer, a thief, a rapist… then there is trouble. But gay? Muslim? Celibate? Atheist? No.
We might as well learn from others’ styles, to expand our minds and get to know the diversity in our world, which in turn will not make us feel bored, always sticking with what a given society has stated. Sometimes, fear plays a great role into making us stick with the same things and get eventually bored.