- Women's Health
Is Sex During Pregnancy Safe?
This is one question that seems to at the top of every couple’s minds and this is probably one of the first questions that a gynaecologist gets asked when a woman knows she is pregnant. The main factor seems to be the safety of the baby and obviously this is a concern any new parent-to-be especially when it is the first pregnancy. So while both the man and the woman might want it, the primary concern will be how good it will be fore the baby. It's a case of safety of the developing baby versus one's own needs and it can be a tough decision for most couples. Talking to the doctor is the best possible thing to do because he or she will help you along depending on your health and the state of your pregnancy.
Your doctor knows best
Many people shy away from the question but you need to ask. Remember that your doctor will not be embarrassed by questions like these - in fact it is expected. Don’t be afraid to ask – and follow the advice your doctor gives you. In most cases, when the pregnancy is normal, your doctor will advise you to go ahead and have sex. Don’t get carried away – take it slowly, easy and remember that there is a little baby growing inside there. However, this does not mean that you get paranoid and put your life and enjoyment on hold when there’s no need to. There has to be a balance between your fears - and most parents-to-be are the first time around and your desires as any normal couple would have.
In case of complications, your doctor might advise you against having sex. This might be the case during the first three months, when some women could be under threat of a miscarriage and have to take things easy. Or, it could be the last trimester when it becomes a bit too uncomfortable. Ask as often as you can and report to the doctor if there is any pain or discomfort or maybe even spotting.
The general rule of thumb could be: if there is no discomfort, go ahead. Unless there is a problem, this is the rule to go by - with your doctor being in the know,of course. Always, always, keep your doctor in the loop and don't go only by what family, friends or online forums have to say.
When only one wants to
Now this gets more difficult but you need to be prepared because it does happen. The woman could lose all urge to have sex or the man could just lose it too when he sees his wife’s changing shape or thinks about one more person present between them. You then need to talk about what is holding you back with your partner because otherwise, it could make them other person feel a sense of rejection. If it gets to be a problem, discuss it with your doctor so he can explain that this change is just temporary and that it isn't unusual. For the women, if lubrication is the reason, he might prescribe a good lubricant. If the case is causing friction between the couple, it might be good to get a bit of counselling where you can feel it's normal and both don't get upset at the other's reaction.
Playing it safe
Very often, especially in the second semester, women might feel very sexy while the man might loose his desire. Hormonal changes could well be the cause of these feelings. The point is, if you do have sex, make sure it is safe and does not in any way harm the fetus. Anything that is rough or involves complicated positions should naturally be ruled out. The man should use protection to ensure that no infection is accidentally passed on to the woman or the child. However, this does not mean that you need to be too careful – the baby is well protected in most pregnancies by the amniotic sac and the fluid in it and it can withstand most activities. Many couples find that this is one of the best times to have sex – with no worries about getting pregnant and because there’s a new life that both have created together.