ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

It Doesn't Have to be Perfect

Updated on July 21, 2011

Under the knife

Life is not about perfection. It's not about being better than your neighbor or having smarter kids or being the only one on the block with the perfectly manicured landscape. Life, in all it's unpredictable glory, is about finding perfection in all our glorious imperfections.

Women all over this country pay billions of dollars for the 'perfect' body. They undergo horrendous surgeries and suffer excruciating pain recovering, all in the name of perfection. If only my breasts looked like Angelina's. If only my nose were as perky as Jennifer's. If only my skin were just a little tighter. If only....

An epidemic?

The epidemic of this insanity can be seen on faces like Joan Rivers and Priscilla Presley or the late Michael Jackson, to name just a few. They look like something out of a horror film. Their faces are so distorted from nips and tucks and Botox and god-knows-what, that even when they try to smile, they're completely unable. It's the stuff nightmares are made of. Terrifying.

I have known women who do this. One such woman once had liposuction, cheek implants, lip plumping and a face lift all in one surgery. The day after her surgery, I took the second shift, staying with her for the ensuing 24 hours and watching as she tried to outlast the pain. It was painful to watch. All the while, the only thing I could think was, 'my God! All this to look like Cameron Diaz?' What is wrong with this picture? Prior to her surgery, she'd hesitated telling me she was going in. She'd already had implants done that were, in my opinion, way too big for her lean body. They looked like cantaloupes. They didn't move when she did. It was just plain weird. So, when she finally did tell me about this impending 'next' surgery, it was only because she was going to need some support in the aftermath, and I was fit for the job. I didn't try to talk her out of it. I did, however, offer one little piece of my heartfelt concern. I told her that I thought she was perfect just the way she was and that no amount of surgery was going to make her feel any better unless she let go of her self-loathing and began to see her beauty from inside. She ignored my offerings. I did what any friend would do....I was there to help after the fact.

Perfect imperfections

Now, several years later, she's still in that dreadful place she was in before her surgeries. She strives for outer perfection and ignores the beautiful spirit that is who she really is. She hates her body, her face, her life. And, because she is so full of self-hatred, she often takes it out on those who love her most. It's a very sad situation. She's searching for perfection that's right in front of her (or rather, right INSIDE her). So, how do we reverse this twisted pursuit of perfection? How do we teach our children to love themselves, just as they are? How do we stop the madness?

I think we all need to take a hike in the mountains or a stroll through a desert in bloom. Go sit on the jetty and watch the waves roll in. You want perfection, that's where you'll find it. WE are not perfect, nor will we ever be. But that's not something we ought to be fretting over. The great perfection of Life is that it is utterly and intrinsically imperfect. And that, my friend, is just as it should be.


    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • profile image


      7 years ago

      Thoughts are things aren't they?! This piece was heartfelt and I could feel it. Thanks for writing our beauty out. Such thoughts keep our world pregnant with possibility.

    • Phil Plasma profile image

      Phil Plasma 

      7 years ago from Montreal, Quebec

      Yep, perfectionists often spend too much time on trying to get things perfect. I appreciate your hub was more about the human imperfections rather than perfectionists, but both need to be better grounded.

    • danfresnourban profile image


      7 years ago from Fresno, CA

      Great hub, we all need to remind ourselves of this from time to time. Thanks for sharing this sentiment.


    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

    Show Details
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)